Snake in the Horse's Shadow
by Lord Raa
Summary: A story where things go differently for the Saotomes during Ranma's training trip. A tale of adventure and something that looks like comedy if you squint at the screen in low light levels. Characters not listed, lest anyone think that there's any kind of a match up.
1. Part 1

Snake in the Horse's Shadow

By Lord Raa

* * *

Disclaim-me-do: I'm sure I can find a suitable substitute for the steamroller.

* * *

Part 1

* * *

The Jusenkyo Guide noticed the two visitors from the window of his hut and went out to greet them.

"¬Good day sirs, how may I help you? Is there any aspect of Jusenkyo and its cursed pools of sorrow that you would like to know more about?¬" he asked in Chinese.

"Sorry, Japanese," Genma said, looking rather confused at the warning signs.

"Ah, Japanese visitors," the Guide nodded. "This the legendary training ground of Jusenkyo. Is very dangerous."

"Dangerous? In what way?" Ranma asked. He wasn't impressed with what looked like simple balance training in the form of bamboo poles in pools of water. "We've been through worse training on the way here.

"Is very dangerous if you fall into the pools of water. Not risk of illness, but you get curse."

"Curse?" the Saotomes repeated in unison.

"What do you mean curse?" Genma asked, his finely honed survival instincts picking up something strange.

"If you fall into a pool, you take on the form of the last thing that drown there," the Guide explained. "Hot water change you back, but every time you hit by cold water, you change. There over 100 springs here, each with different curse. Like that one there, that turn you into a panda if you fall in there. And that one turn you into girl."

"You know what Pops, I think we should try something else for our training," Ranma mused as he saw a small bird fall into a spring and turn into a piglet.

The balding man blinked, shook his head and rubbed his eyes. He turned to the guide. "Did that bird just turn into a piglet?"

"Yes, it did."

"I don't suppose you know of any other training grounds in the area?"

"Yes. There is the village of Amazons nearby," the Guide answered.

Genma considered that, and while there was much potential for his son to improve is already impressive arsenal of moves, the risk of his son falling in love before they returned to Japan was too great. He knew that Ranma would fight the engagement he had arranged with Soun Tendo tooth and nail as it was without a girlfriend complicating matters.

"Is there anything else in the area, like maybe a temple of warrior-monks?"

"Sorry, Shaolin monks to the south," the portly Chinese man answered. After a moment, he recalled something. "There is legend of a temple where man who reach enlightenment to travel among the gods. That temple not far from here."

"That sounds better than risking turning into an animal, Pops," Ranma opined. "I mean, what if we get caught in the rain and eaten?"

"Yes, you're quite right, Ranma. So then, where's this temple?"

* * *

Three days later, Ranma and his father were beginning to wonder if they'd been tricked by the Jusenkyo Guide. They had been dodging heavy rains by searching a series of caves, making them glad that they'd not rushed head long into their original plan of training over the Pools of Sorrow.

Though dealing with snakes, tigers and crazy hermits wasn't exactly a pleasant alternative for them.

Finally, they'd encountered a cave that was unlike the others. It had what could have been a semi-irregular pattern on the walls, or just some ancient language from a long dead tribe decorating the cave.

"This is it," Genma said in his wisest tone. "Now, follow me, Ranma."

"Sure thing," the pigtailed martial artist shrugged, though he was happy to get out of the wind and rain. "So, you got any idea what this guy's called?"

"None whatsoever."

"Great," Ranma muttered. He looked around, noticing that there was some artificial light to his right. "What's this over here, Pops?"

Genma walked to where his son was standing in front of a mysterious stone structure.

"I've never seen anything like this before," he said as he reached out and brushed his fingertips over the carvings.

Two seconds later, a series of stone rings descended from the ceiling around the martial artists and emitted a brilliant light.

* * *

Ranma blinked repeatedly to regain his vision. "Pops, what just happened?"

"I've got no idea," Genma answered truthfully. He scanned their immediate surroundings and noticed that there was a lot of gold in the colour scheme. "Is that a door over there?"

"Looks like it. Let's see if it's locked," the teenager said as he walked two metres to his right. He felt around he thought was a doorframe for a button, anything to open the door, eventually hitting the controls.

The door opened with a soft hiss, and more gold hued corridors were revealed.

Ranma stuck his head through the doorway and took a quick look around. "Hey, there's a window over here! I'm going to check it out."

Deciding that his son might need his wisdom and experience, not to mention he wanted to know if there was anything of value in the area, the balding man quickly caught up with the teenager.

Moments later, he noticed that Ranma had stopped by the window.

"What's up, Ranma?"

"…Pops, I don't think we're in China any more."

"What do you…" Genma trailed off when he noticed that there was a blue and white orb in the distance. "That looks like the Earth as seen from the moon."

"Pops, I think that's because we're on the moon," Ranma suggested, now pointing to a desolate landscape outside. "What the hell happened to us?"

"I don't know, but we need to figure out a way to get back," the older man said. "We should look around together. Never mind splitting up to cover more ground, we need to stick together – I saw 'Alien'."

The pigtailed youth would have rolled his eyes, but realised that his father did have a point about not splitting up. Wherever they were, they had to be careful.

"Ok, Pops, which way do we go?"

"This way, let's follow this path."

* * *

An hour's exploration later, Ranma and his father arrived at a room that wasn't like the others.

"This is significant," Genma noted the large window in front of two chairs and what seemed to be a control panel.

This time Ranma did roll his eyes at his father's attempt to appear wise and knowledgeable. "Ok then, Pops, what now? We've found what could be…?"

"I've got no idea," the portly man admitted. "I've been bluffing for the last ten minutes. Still, here we are in the… room with two chairs and a large window. Let's take a break, shall we?"

"Yeah," the pigtailed Saotome nodded. He sat down on the nearest seat and yawned. "I don't suppose you know if we brought our pack with us, do you?"

"… I don't know."

"Fantastic," Ranma said sarcastically. "Here we are, apparently on the moon with no food and… wait, how much air do you reckon we've got here?"

"I'm a martial artist, not a rocket scientist, boy," Genma chided. "Besides, you're the one at the controls – you fly this thing home. Actually, that's not that bad an idea – we could take this thing to a big company, they'd pay a fortune for this thing. We'd be set for life, Son!"

"Money isn't everything, Pops, you taught me that."

"That's before we were sitting on something so valuable. Now fly this thing."

Rolling his eyes, the pigtailed martial artist placed his hands on the panel in front of him and spoke, "Take us… home?"

There was a gentle hum that built up in pitch before vibrations started to cause Genma to take up the other seat.

Moments later, the shuttle lifted off from the moon's surface and headed out towards the stars.

* * *

Nine years later…

"Colonel O'Neill, what's going on here?" General Hammond demanded from his returning expedition.

"General, this is Teal'c, he's with us," O'Neill explained. "Let's get everyone checked out by the doctors and we'll explain everything."

"Agreed," the bald man nodded.

Teal'c looked around the Embarkation Room, noticing that the soldiers were all pointing their weapons at him. The Jaffa placed his weapon on the ground and walked forward off the ramp. 'Their combat training is clearly more than that of a slave army… Perhaps… no, how could it be possible that O'Neill and his people are related to them…?'

"Teal'c, if you'll follow me, we need to have a quick word," O'Neill said, pulling his new friend to one side.

* * *

Several months later, Teal'c knocked on the door to Colonel O'Neill's office.

"O'Neill, I wish to ask you some questions about your world."

"Come on in, Teal'c. What would you to know?"

"O'Neill, I have noticed that there is a room here devoted to physical training."

"The gym," the Colonel nodded. "What about it? Do you want us to get in some more equipment for you?"

"No, the weights there are sufficient for my needs, but there is something puzzling me about your military training," the Jaffa continued. "I have seen you and other SG teams use unarmed combat techniques, but I wish to know more about them."

"You want to know more about martial arts?" O'Neill asked. He leaned back in his seat in contemplation. "I suppose we could have a kung-fu film marathon… What's brought all this on?"

The dark-skinned man took a moment to compose himself. "There are tales of two male Tau'ri who can break stone walls with their fists."

"I've seen martial artists break bricks before. Give me a moment, and I'll see if I can find a video of that for you," the officer said as he logged onto the Air Force computer network. A minute later, he turned his monitor so that Teal'c could see properly.

On the screen a man in a white gi walked to a neat stack of three bricks. He took a couple of seconds to line his fist up and broke all of them cleanly.

The Jaffa was clearly impressed with this. "So it is possible for a human to do this…"

O'Neill turned his monitor back to its normal position. "Wait, where did you hear these stories?"

"When I was First Prime of Apophis, there were several minor rebellions which other System Lords took advantage of. It is believed that these rebellions were aided by two Tau'ri travelling in a stolen shuttle. There were whispers of men that could appear from nowhere, kill a Goa'uld and his bodyguards and disappear into the shadows."

"Sounds like you've got an infestation of ninjas," the Colonel smirked. "So, what were these two men called?"

"They were known as Ha're Kek," Teal'c replied. When O'Neill looked at him for an answer, he elaborated. "Silent Death."

"What a charming nickname."

"Indeed, O'Neill, but it is possible that we will encounter these two men when they learn of SG-1. I believe they could be a great help in the defence of your planet."

"Either that or they'd have some great stories to share with us," Jack smiled.

* * *

Elsewhere in the cosmos, Ranma was sitting around a campfire, negotiating with a rebel Jaffa.

"Young Master Ranma, we know of your skills, and we have heard of your honour, that is why we have sought you out."

"Just so you know how I feel about Jaffa," Ranma said, his steely gaze meeting that of his guest. "If you hadn't surrendered to me, I would have killed you when I first saw you."

"I appreciate that fact. But I believe that you can help me free my people."

"Yes, I'd heard that you Jaffa were enslaved by the Goa'uld," the pigtailed man nodded. "Just as they'd taken the people from my planet. I suppose I should help you, but Sokar's troops, who are your people, captured my father last year."

The older warrior nodded. "That is true, but tales of your rescue of him has spread through the ranks of Jaffa across the galaxy. If you would help my people than our chances of victory will greatly increase."

"Yeah," Ranma smirked.

Genma, under the cover of darkness, willed his son to make a decision about this Jaffa. 'Help him or kill him, Ranma, just make up your mind soon!'

The pigtailed man dropped his smirk and turned serious. "Now, I don't mean to sound like a greedy merchant, but what's in it for me? I don't mind risking my neck for my people, but you're a different matter."

The old man nodded. "I understand your position, Master Ranma. I have only one thing that I can offer you: a chance to return to your home."

"Now we're talking. How?" Ranma asked, leaning forward.

"I know the explorers who come from the same planet as you," the Jaffa explained. "I can contact them to meet with you."

The martial artist stroked his chin in contemplation. "I'll need to discuss it with my father first."

"Very well, when shall we meet again?"

"What is your name?"

"Bra'tak, Master Ranma."

"This time tomorrow, Bra'tak, you'll have your answer."

* * *

That evening, Ranma closed the doors to the shuttle and turned to his father.

"So then, Pops, what's it going to be? Should we help them or not?"

"Ranma," the portly man sighed, "We've seen sights like nothing we could imagine. We've fought monsters, eaten food fit for gods and we've both had more beautiful women than we ever thought possible."

He removed his bandana and ran a hand through his thinning hair. "But I'm getting too old for this life. We've been on the road for twenty years now, and I want to be able to rest without worrying about what's looking for us. I want to go home."

Ranma looked his father in the eye and saw how tired he looked. Gone was the man of incredible physical prowess and cunning. Now a tired, homesick old man stood before him.

The pigtailed man nodded. "OK, Father, I'll help them and get you home."

"Thank you, Son."

* * *

After a good night's sleep, Ranma and his father spent most of the day doing some light training and foraging for supplies.

When night fell, the pair of Saotomes waited for Bra'tak's arrival.

"Do you think he'll show?" Genma asked, enjoying the last of his baked fish.

"Probably, he looked sincere enough," Ranma answered, working out some stiffness in his shoulders.

"Your right arm still giving you trouble?"

The younger Saotome gestured for silence as he scanned the area for the direction of the intruder. Waiting another five seconds, Ranma silently drew his short sword and rose to his feet.

"I am here, Master Ranma," Bra'tak announced himself as he emerged from a copse.

"Good evening," Genma greeted. "So, you're the one who's going to get us home?"

"You must be Master Genma," the Jaffa bowed respectfully. "I hear that you are his instructor as well as his father."

"Yes, I am. He makes me proud to be his father."

"Bra'tak, I'm going to take you up on your offer," Ranma spoke up. "I'll risk my life for you for one mission, so make it a good one."

"A mission like stopping an invasion fleet heading for your planet?" Bra'tak asked with a smirk. His face turned deathly serious. "Apophis is making his move against your world."

"How many ships?"

"Two, but they are capable of destroying every settlement on your planet."

Ranma shook his head as he let out a chuckle. "You're getting your money's worth out of me, aren't you? What do you want me to do?"

"I need you to get on board one of the ha'taks and sabotage everything you can once it reaches your planetary system," Bra'tak answered.

"You want me to bring down two ha'tak class ships?" the pigtailed man asked. "When do they launch?"

"Five days from now."

"No time like the present, eh? Well, tell me where you want me and get me on the ship you want blowing up and I'll take it from there."

"Excellent, Master Ranma," the Jaffa bowed. He handed a piece of paper with some coordinates on it. "Meet me at the chappa'ai on this planet and I'll get you on board."

* * *

Just under a week later, Bra'tak walked into the room where SG-1 were being held.

"Bra'tak!" O'Neill greeted. He was surprised to be smacked to the floor by his friend.

"Foolish human! You have doomed yourself!" the veteran Jaffa chastised. "I am doing all I can to keep you alive, but you do not make things easy, do you?"

"Keeps things from getting boring," the Colonel mumbled.

"Tek Ma'te, Bra'tak," Teal'c greeted.

"It is good to see you too, old friend," Bra'tak smiled. The smile soon fell from his face. "But you should not have come here."

"Maybe not, but I stand by my friends. They may be our only hope for overcoming the false gods."

"Yes, as pathetic as it seems at the moment, I agree."

"You do?" Daniel asked, surprised by that particular comment.

Bra'tak nodded. "Indeed, and had you not interfered, I may have been able to save your planet."

"Hey," O'Neill protested, "You can't expect us to just sit by and do nothing while our world is destroyed!"

There was a shimmer and a human dressed in black appeared beside Bra'tak.

"It's my world too," he added. "Bra'tak, I managed to get close to both main reactors. They should be experiencing power loss in three, two…"

The lights in the room dimmed for four seconds before returning to their normal brightness.

"That's it? That's all you managed to do?" O'Neill asked in disbelief. "You're a god damned ninja and all you can do is dim the lights a little?"

"Who are you?" Carter asked. "And how did you make yourself invisible?"

"Ranma Saotome, heir to the Saotome School of Anything Goes, pilot of the cargo shuttle Nihonjin, killer of countless Jaffa and at least three Goa'uld," the raven-haired man said with a theatrical bow.

"Are you part of the Ha're Kek?" Teal'c asked, his keen vision scanning the newcomer for anything that would give an indication of his fighting prowess.

"Half of menace you guys call 'Ha're Kek', yes," Ranma nodded. "My father is sitting this one out. Anyway, I believe that you guys can get me home."

"We can, but if we don't do anything soon, there won't be a home for you to return to," the Colonel shrugged.

"Then I better do this," the pigtailed man smirked as he pulled out a radio detonator and pressed the button on the top. When nothing happened he pressed it again, and a third time.

Jack turned to face Teal'c. "And these are the guys that the Jaffa fear?"

"Indeed it does seem that he is not the invincible killing machine of legend," the dark-skinned Jaffa conceded.

After a moment, Ranma slapped his forehead. "Don't worry, I know why there haven't been any explosions on this ship."

"Why's that?" Carter asked, checking out the martial artist for any other technology he had with him.

"I put the bombs on the other ship," the raven-haired man replied.

Seconds later, Apophis's ship was ripped apart by a series of explosions.

"There we go," Ranma beamed. "Now, how are we going to get out of this one? They should be having some problems with the main reactor, so we've got a fighting chance of surviving this one."

"Yes, how many warships does the Tau'ri have in orbit?" Bra'tak asked, finding Ranma's enthusiasm infectious.

"We've got a couple of shuttles…" Daniel said, turning to look at Jack for guidance.

"Yeah, a couple of shuttles," the Colonel repeated. "We're boned."

"So, what? You're saying we're on our own?" Ranma asked, not liking the expression on the faces of the members of SG-1.

"Yes," Carter nodded, "but Daniel and I planted some C4 around this ship."

"Yes! Tell me it's on a timer, Carter," Jack said.

"It is, sir. We set the timer for 24 hours," said the blonde.

"TWENTY FOUR HOURS?"

"I thought we were at least a year away from Earth!" Carter protested.

Ranma turned to face Bra'tak. "Well, it's not that big of a deal. I mean, we only have to keep them from attacking Earth until this ship blows up. Hiding from Jaffa for a day isn't a problem."

"Not for you," O'Neill scoffed. "You're a ninja! You can melt into the shadows."

"Well, yes," the pigtailed man admitted.

"How much time do we have before your 4C blows up?" Bra'tak asked.

"C4," the blonde corrected. "And we've got a little over 18 hours."

"See, that's not a problem," Ranma grinned evilly. "We've got plenty of time to steal some death gliders and leave before this thing blows up."

"What about the Jaffa? Won't they be on alert after the other ship was destroyed?" Daniel asked.

"You're not scared of a few Jaffa, are you?"

"There are over five thousand on this ha'tak, Ranma," Bra'tak supplied helpfully.

"That just means keeping count's going to be harder," Ranma said walking to the doorway.

Carter pulled O'Neill to one side. "Colonel, I think that this Ranma person is a little…"

"Yeah, I get that vibe too, Carter. Still, I guess if he's our only hope."

"Hey you lot, stop complaining like old women and let's get out of here!"

* * *

Ranma wasn't sure what to make of SG-1 as they fought their way to the death glider hangar. Sure, most of them seemed pretty useful in a fight, but the guy in the glasses shouldn't have been there.

He walked up to Bra'tak. "So what's up with that guy?"

"O'Neill?"

"No, the other one; the guy with the glasses. He looks barely able to fight his way out of a wet paper bag."

"Ah, you mean Daniel Jackson. He is a scholar, not a warrior," the Jaffa explained.

Ranma shook his head. "Don't get me wrong, I know it's important to learn stuff, but why would you take someone like that with you on a mission like this?"

"It's a long story," O'Neill said gruffly. "We'll explain everything when we get home. Speaking of which, where is home for you?"

"Cool, oh wait one moment," the pigtailed man said. He leaned back and launched a vacuum blade at a pair of Jaffa, slicing one their heads off and causing the other to flee in terror. "Sorry about that, just needed to show off. Where were we? Ah yeah, home. It was some years ago, but I think it was somewhere in Tokyo."

Teal'c looked at the effects of Ranma's attack. "That is not Goa'uld technology. You are indeed Ha're Kek."

Carter turned to look at Ranma. "Yeah, what was that? What kind of weapon do you have that could do that?"

"Pops calls it the Yamasenken," he replied. "It's just a technique he developed when he was younger. And look, I'd love to spend time talking with you about this, but I've got better things to do tonight than die."

"Carter, Teal'c, the inquisition will have to wait until we get back to the SGC," O'Neill said, cutting off any further questions for Ranma. "Is that clear?"

"Yes, Sir."

"It is indeed, O'Neill."

"Good," the Colonel smiled. "So, we've got six hours before the C4 blows, what do we do if that doesn't take this thing down?"

"Well, their power grid should be having some problems soon…" Ranma hinted in his best innocent tone.

Five seconds later, the lights dimmed again.

"Again, you've managed to dim the lights – the Goa'uld must be shaking in their boots right now!" Jack commented sarcastically.

"If that's how you feel, I won't set off the other bombs. Best of luck getting off this crate before it blows up," Ranma snapped. A moment later and he was invisible again.

"Colonel, I don't mean to speak out of line here," Carter said with a wince. "But don't you think that you could have been a bit…"

"Friendlier to Ranma?" Daniel finished for the Captain.

Before the Colonel could respond, the door to the hangar opened and half a dozen dead Jaffa bodies landed in the corridor.

SG-1 heard panicked screams that a ghost was stalking the Jaffa guarding the hangar.

"Orders, Colonel?" the blonde asked.

Jack sighed. "Ok, we follow Ranma, maybe we can convince him to keep helping us."

As Carter, Daniel and Teal'c filed into the hangar, the Colonel turned to Bra'tak.

"Where did you find this guy?"

"They say that the side that fights with the Ha're Kek does not lose," the veteran Jaffa explained with a small smile.

* * *

Three death gliders sped away from the ha'tak.

"¬Err, guys, what's a safe distance from this thing?¬" O'Neill asked over the radio.

"¬I am not sure,¬" Teal'c answered.

"About 500km," Ranma supplied.

"¬Really?¬"

"It's just a guess – I haven't blown one of these things up before," the pigtailed man admitted.

Carter spoke up. "¬I don't want to jinx things, but why aren't they shooting at us?¬"

"Carter does have a good point," Daniel added.

"I sabotaged their weapons," Ranma smirked. "You didn't think I was just messing with their lights, did you?"

O'Neill was about to speak up but, as if to mock the colonel, a series of explosions rippled through the remaining ha'tak and interrupted his sarcastic remark.

"¬Oh, OK, I'm gonna have to stop mocking you, aren't I?¬"

* * *

To be continued…

Back from the dead after a couple of revisions.


	2. Part 2

Snake in the Horse's Shadow

By Lord Raa

* * *

Disclaim-me-do: These "no nonsense" solutions of yours just don't hold water in a complex world of jet-powered apes and time travel.

* * *

Part 2

* * *

General Hammond was glad that his best team had all returned in one piece.

"Welcome back, SG-1," he smiled. "Who are our guests?"

O'Neill turned to introduce the older Jaffa. "General Hammond, this is Bra'tak, he's Teal'c's old teacher."

"Greetings, Hammond of Texas," Bra'tak bowed his head respectfully. "It is an honour to meet you."

"Likewise," the General bowed back.

"And this is Ranma Saotome, he's… well, we're not quite sure what he is," Jack admitted.

The pigtailed man rolled his eyes. "I'm Ranma Saotome, and I'd like to go home."

"Where is home for you?" Hammond asked.

"Tokyo, but as for anything more specific like the ward, you'll have to ask my father."

"Tokyo? But how did you get off-world?" the Texan asked. "The Stargate was only activated two years ago."

"Didn't go through your Stargate, it was a shuttle on the moon," Ranma half explained.

"When was this?" Carter asked, intrigued that something as significant as an alien shuttle was missed during the lunar missions. "I mean, how long have you been out there?"

"I don't know, what year is it? We lost track of the time."

"1998," the blonde supplied helpfully.

Ranma looked thoughtful for a moment. "Oh, it's been that long?"

Dr. Fraiser arrived to escort SG-1 into the infirmary. "Welcome back, SG-1. I'm sorry to do this, but I'd like to give you all a quick examination before you have your debriefing."

Hammond gave O'Neill a look that warned him not to argue.

"Since you asked so nicely, how could we refuse?" Jack asked with his usual irreverent nature.

"What about me?" Ranma asked. "Can I borrow your Stargate and bring my father home?"

"Not just yet, we'd still like to ask you some questions, Ranma," Hammond said apologetically.

"Will there be food?"

The bald man nodded. "I think we can rustle something up for you."

"Lead the way, Hammond of Texas," the pigtailed man grinned.

* * *

After their physical examinations, SG-1 walked into the briefing room where Ranma had been led to. The martial artist was sitting at the table behind several empty plates.

Carter was surprised at the amount of food their guest had consumed in such a short space of time. 'Just where did he put all that food?'

"Watch your fingers, Ranma," Jack wryly commented as Ranma wiped some sauce up with a slice of bread. "Did that even touch the sides?"

"The bottom's a side, isn't it?" Ranma smirked in response.

General Hammond arrived. "My apologies for the delay, I was just talking with the President and the Joint Chiefs. They said that they'll waive the courts martial this time, Colonel O'Neill."

"Bet we don't get any medals though," the Colonel muttered good-naturedly. "I take it that means we're keeping the SGC going?"

"We are indeed, Colonel. Now, Ranma," the Texan said as he took up his seat at the table, "What can you tell us about yourself and your travels off-world?"

"It's a long story," the martial artist replied. "Over 20 years ago, my father took me on what was planned to be a ten year training trip. I learned all sorts of cool fighting styles and how to live off the land. After ten years of living on the road, I was starting to resent my old man."

"Why's that, Ranma?" Hammond asked. He'd always enjoyed a good relationship with his father.

"Sure, I'd learn some useful skills on my travels, but I'd been neglecting how to deal with people without making them want to cave my head in. My father admitted that there was a reason for this and we had a… frank exchange of views."

Carter was beginning to wonder if she should make the effort to visit her own father. She asked, "Just what sort of man is your father?"

"It's complicated," Ranma said with a sharp intake of breath. "When I was five, he was some invincible warrior that wanted to train me so I was the best. When I was seven, he was putting me through the harshest of training. When I was 16, he was a lazy hypocrite who wanted me to marry his best friend's daughter.

"At 17, he was all I had in the universe."

"Wow…" the blonde whispered.

"Indeed it does seem like a complicated situation, Ranma Saotome," Teal'c said, nodding his head in understanding. "It reminds me of my situation with my son."

"You should spend some time with him," the pigtailed man said. "Teach him stuff; help him understand things he doesn't."

"I will, Ranma Saotome."

"So, how did you get from China to the other side of the galaxy?" Daniel asked, the talk of families making him feel slightly uncomfortable.

"We went to this temple. There was this weird writing on the walls that wasn't Chinese, we touched the writing and the next thing we know, we're on the moon in a shuttle. Soon after that, we're flying off to some planet with a load of Jaffa abusing some slaves. It took a while, but we stopped all the Jaffa."

O'Neill noticed that Teal'c looked surprised. "Teal'c? Is there something we should know about this planet?"

"Did this planet have a Stargate?"

"No, but it had two major resources being mined – naquadah and trinium," Ranma answered.

The Jaffa wore a look that was part fear, part admiration on his face. "You were a part of the rebellion on Rokscha?"

"I wasn't the guy who took charge after the Goa'uld left, but I killed a few Jaffa, if that's what you mean."

"There were 500 Jaffa on Rokscha. Five left with their Goa'uld master," Teal'c explained to the rest of SG-1. "It was considered an important lesson for those who would become First Prime to learn."

"It was a combination of surprise, sneaky tactics and collapsing buildings and mineshafts on the enemy and not just going around and murdering them in their sleep," Ranma insisted. "Though, that was how I killed that Goa'uld a couple of years ago."

"You were responsible for the death of Jocasta?" the Jaffa asked. "There were rumours that the Ha're Kek were involved, but Sokar took over Jocasta's worlds and quickly silenced the survivors."

"Yeah, I still need to deal with Sokar – he captured my father last year," the martial artist said, his left eye twitching slightly. "Speaking of which, I don't want to cause trouble, but I promised my father that I'd get him home."

"I'd like our doctor to examine you, if you don't mind," Hammond said. "While Dr. Fraiser takes a look, I'll make the call."

"Thank you, General Hammond," Ranma smiled. "I'm sorry for keeping on about this, but we're tired of having to worry about our next meal or whether or not people are going to try to kill us."

"I know what you mean," O'Neill nodded. "We've upset a few people ourselves. Carter, would you show Ranma to the infirmary?"

"Yes, sir," the blonde nodded.

* * *

As they stood in the elevator, Carter turned to face Ranma. "So, I'd imagine you've seen some impressive sights over the years?"

"Yeah," the pigtailed man nodded. "There were these people who managed to hide their floating cities. Can you believe it? Floating cities!"

"You met the Nox?" the Captain asked.

"Yeah, have you? I mean sure, they don't look advanced, but then I've seen enough elderly martial artists to know that you can't judge on appearances alone."

"But if you met the Nox and they showed you their cities, why didn't they send you home?"

"Well, they told my father they didn't know where our planet was, but one of them told me a few secrets," Ranma said.

"Well?" Carter asked, clearly interested in what the Nox had to say to Ranma.

The elevator chimed and the doors opened.

"They're secrets that I promised to keep for as long as I could."

"But…"

"Hey, I made a promise," the martial artist replied, cutting the blonde off. "I don't know about you, but I think the Nox would be pretty upset if I blabbed all their secrets to the first person who asked."

"True, but what can you tell us about the Nox?"

Ranma sighed. "They're nice people and they can make their floating cities invisible."

Carter was becoming increasingly frustrated with the long-haired man's reluctance. "This way."

"Oh, I can tell you a couple of things though," the raven-haired man said as he caught up with the Captain. "Their Stargate is buried and they picked up the Tollan from here."

Carter spun around to face Ranma. "How did you know that?"

"I spent six months with them. I helped them bury their Stargate."

"Then why didn't you get them to bring you home?"

"My father," Ranma replied as they arrived at the Infirmary. "I needed to get him back from Sokar."

The blonde was feeling a little embarrassed at her questions. "Here we are."

"That's good, my shoulder's been hurting me for some time now," the martial artist said as he walked through the door. "So Doc, what can you do for an aching shoulder?"

"Well, if you'll get ready and take a seat on the bed there, I'll take a look and see what's wrong," Dr. Janet Fraiser smiled. She turned to face Carter. "So, Samantha, what's our guest like?"

"Well, he's… he's… naked?" the Captain answered in disbelief.

"What?" the doctor asked. She turned to see what Sam was looking at. "Ranma! Why did you undress?"

"You said get ready," Ranma replied.

"Yeah, but I meant take your shirt off so I could see your shoulder. Why would you think you needed to be completely naked?"

"I don't know, it's just that every other female healer has asked me to get undressed no matter what the problem was. I just assumed that it's because they knew what they were doing," the nude man shrugged. "But now that you mention it, it does seem a bit weird to get undressed if you've got a sore throat…"

"Just… put your pants on!" Carter ordered.

"Huh, that's strange," Ranma muttered as he slid his pants on.

"What is?"

"Girls normally tell me to keep my clothes off, not put them back on. It makes a refreshing change."

"…" the two women were stunned by this comment. They turned to face each other.

"No, he can't be serious…" Janet said softly.

"It must be one of his jokes," Samantha insisted.

"So, are you going to take a look at my shoulder or not?" Ranma asked, interrupting the women's discussion.

Janet smiled and walked over to where the semi-dressed man was sitting. It was then that she got a look at the scars on his body.

"You've been in the wars, haven't you?" she asked with a whistle.

"A couple of planetary rebellions, a few rescue missions, maybe one or two duels to the death," the martial artist shrugged.

"When do you feel the most pain in your shoulder, Ranma?" the Doctor asked, noticing some heavy scarring on his right shoulder.

"Most of the time, really," Ranma answered. "Some days it's just a dull ache, others it feels like there's something inside there, grinding against the bone. I have the full range of motion, but the pain can make fighting more difficult than it needs to be."

Janet gently probed her patient's shoulder, doing her best not to be distracted by the rest of his impressive physique. "I'm going to lift your arm up now, OK? Let me know when it starts to hurt."

"It's hurting now, Doc."

"Oh. Well, I still need to move your arm to see where the problem is."

"OK, I'll let you know where the pain becomes worse. Ache, ache, twinge of pain, twinge getting worse, feels like there's something in my shoulder," Ranma said as he arm was lifted from his side to fully outstretched.

Janet frowned slightly. "I can't really tell what the problem is without a scan, Ranma. Don't worry; we've got an x-ray machine here so this won't take long."

* * *

In his office, General Hammond and Colonel O'Neill were discussing the security implications of allowing two civilians with knowledge of the Stargate to wander freely.

"I can't say that it's a good idea for them to go around unsupervised, Colonel."

"I agree with you there, Sir, but it's going to be difficult keeping an eye on Ranma," Jack said.

"And why is that, Colonel?" the Texan asked.

"Well, he can turn himself invisible, Sir," Jack explained.

Hammond blinked twice. "Like the Nox can? Does he have access to advanced technologies?"

The Colonel leaned back in his chair. "It's entirely possible, Sir, but he's not told us everything about himself and his travels."

The bald man nodded. "This is quite the dilemma. We have to balance the fact that we don't have the right to deprive two foreign nationals of the right to go home when they've done nothing wrong with maintaining security around the SGC."

There was a pause as the two men considered the situation. A knock on the door interrupted them.

"Enter."

"Sorry to bother you, Sirs," Captain Carter said, saluting her superiors. "But there's something interesting that we've discovered."

"Oh?" O'Neill asked. "Is Ranma a robot or something?"

"No, Sir, he's human, if a little unusual," the blonde answered. "We found a piece of metal shrapnel in his shoulder. It's a metal we've not seen before, but Ranma and Teal'c have identified it as 'trinium'. It's far lighter and stronger than anything we've seen before.

"And not only that, Ranma says he knows where we can get some of the ore."

Hammond nodded. "Do you think we could trust him to show us a planet where we could mine some of that trinium?"

"I guess," O'Neill said, "if we allow him to bring his father home. Don't know what he'll do if we deny him that."

"I don't really like this," Hammond said. "He's too strong and powerful. He could do anything he wants. And his knowledge of the Stargate programme poses a big security risk."

"I don't like it much either," the Colonel said, "but he did help us blow up Apophis' ships. He basically saved our collective butts. We'll just have to trust him for now."

"Very well, we'll get him to take us to the trinium ore and then we'll get his father," the bald man decided.

* * *

Ranma stirred on the hospital bed.

"Careful now," a nurse with blonde, collar-length hair said rushing to his side, "You've just had delicate surgery on your shoulder."

"Surgery? But that wasn't that a couple of hours ago?" the pigtailed man asked, not immediately recognising his surroundings.

"Yes," Dr. Fraiser confirmed. "But soon after you identified the shrapnel we removed, you fell asleep. I was expecting you to wake up for the first time in about 20 minutes, Ranma."

"What? I fell asleep again?"

"I'd be more concerned about the nausea you're feeling from the anaesthetic. Normally, patients have an empty stomach before they go under," the doctor explained.

"Meh, my father would tell me off for wasting food. Speaking of which, I don't suppose I could get a drink, could I?" Ranma asked. "My throat's a bit dry."

"Nurse Smith, could you please get Ranma a glass of water?"

A moment later, Ranma took the offered glass. "Thank you."

The nurse smiled back at the martial artist. "You're welcome, Ranma."

There was a knock at the door and Colonel O'Neill entered. "I see you're feeling better already."

"I'm feeling much better, thanks to Dr. Fraiser and her top medical team," Ranma said, smiling at the two women in the room. "So, what's the plan?"

"Well, as soon as you get the all clear to travel from the Doc, you're to take us to where we can find some trinium ore to bring back. After that, we're going to pick up your father," Jack answered.

"Don't get anything for nothing these days, do you?" the martial artist asked rhetorically. "Still, if it's what I've got to do to get my father home, then I can't complain too much."

Ranma stood up off the bed and looked down at his naked body. "You know, we really need to work out our barter scheme."

"What do you mean, Ranma?" the Colonel asked, pointedly not looking below Ranma's neck.

"Well, I blow up Apophis and I get lunch," the naked man explained, "Very tasty, by the way. I'm taking you to a trinium ore deposit in exchange for getting my father home and it seems that payment for taking care of my shoulder is to strip me naked and stare at me.

"I can't expect you to just do things or give me stuff for nothing, but we should work out a proper scale, don't you think?"

"Yeah… we should," Jack conceded. "Doc, let me know when Ranma's fit to travel and we'll start prepping the mission."

"Yes, Colonel," Janet nodded. After Jack had left, she turned her attention back to Ranma. "Err, Ranma, I don't suppose you'd mind covering up, would you?"

"If it makes things easier for you," the martial artist shrugged. He sat back on the bed and covered his waist with the sheet. "So, ready when you are."

"Let's just change the dressing first, OK?" the doctor suggested with a nervous smile.

* * *

Ranma was clearly bored with being kept in the infirmary. His fidgeting was beginning to annoy even himself.

"Gah, so bored…" he complained to the airmen guarding him. "I don't suppose you guys could let me go for a run, could you?"

"Sorry, Sir, but we're under orders to keep you under close supervision."

"But I need to do something, or I'm going to go nuts. There's nothing we can do? You guys don't have gym or anything here?"

Airman Cervantes looked at the pigtailed man sympathetically. "Let me check with my superiors."

The Hispanic man walked to a phone and dialled General Hammond.

"Sorry to bother you Sir, but our guest says that he needs something to do. Would it be possible to allow him to use our gym on base?"

"¬What does Dr. Fraiser say about him exercising?¬ " the Texan asked. "¬If she says it's OK, then I'll allow. But be sure to mention that it's Mr. Saotome's health that's holding up the mission to bring back his father.¬"

"Thank you Sir," Cervantes said before hanging up the phone. He turned to face Ranma. "I need to ask Dr. Fraiser. The General also told me to mention that it's your health that is holding up the mission to bring your father home."

"This?" Ranma pointed to his shoulder. He moved it in a circle. "This is feeling much better. I'm ready to go when you guys are."

"It's still Dr. Fraiser's call, Sir."

"Yes, it is," Janet Fraiser said as she entered the room. "Ranma, stop waving your arm about and let me have a look at it."

Ranma did as he was told. He took a deep breath to calm himself down, hoping to contain his nervous energy for a short while longer.

The doctor gently peeled away the dressing and blinked in surprise. "Just how fast do you heal, Mr. Saotome?"

"What? I'm Ranma, Mr. Saotome is my father," the martial artist said dismissively. "And I guess I've always been a fast healer. You kinda need to be out there when you've upset as many people as we have."

"But the way your scar has healed isn't exactly textbook, Ranma," Janet commented dryly.

Ranma shrugged. "I guess I'm just special. So, what's the word, Dr. Fraiser? Am I ready to go on a couple of missions through the Stargate?"

"I can't really see any reason why not, but you must be careful when you're off-world. And I want you to come back for a check up as soon as you come back," the doctor instructed.

"Well, if that's part of our barter scheme, then I guess I can't do a great deal about it. I promise I'll come here as soon as we come back."

* * *

To be continued…


	3. Part 3

Snake in the Horse's Shadow

By Lord Raa

* * *

Disclaim-me-do: I don't care because I'm not there.

* * *

Part 3

* * *

Ranma sat fidgeting in the jumpsuit he'd been given for the mission.

"Something wrong, Ranma?" O'Neill asked, finding the scene mildly amusing.

"Just not used to this sort of clothing," the martial artist replied. "Still, it's not the weirdest thing someone's asked me to wear."

"What would that be?" Daniel asked, intrigued by the chance to learn about new cultures he hadn't encountered yet.

"…" Ranma grimaced as he realised that he'd let his mouth run away from him again. "I'd rather not talk about that."

O'Neill managed to keep his smirk to a minimum. "Oh, and why's that? Was it some sort of drunken frat-boy style prank?"

"I wish it was something as simple as running through town in an opposing sports team's shirt," Ranma said laughing at the absurdity of some of his adventures. "But I will say this – does the name 'Bacchus' mean anything to any of you?"

Daniel's eyes widened. "B-Bacchus?"

"Danny?" Jack asked. "Are we going to regret asking about this?"

"I… well… Bacchus was the Roman god of wine. He was worshipped through orgiastic rites," the archaeologist explained nervously.

"I see," the Colonel nodded.

"See what, Sir?" Carter asked as she arrived to take her seat. Teal'c arrived a moment later and sat next to the captain.

"It's nothing, Carter. So, have you found the planet we're going to?"

"We have sir, it's PX-758," the blonde answered. "Are you sure it's nothing, Daniel seems a bit off."

"It's nothing," Ranma insisted, his cheeks tinged with red as he thought back to the time he was forced to attend THAT party.

Carter remained unconvinced, but continued with the briefing. "We're going to scan the area with the UAV and head out in the direction of the mine.

"Ideally, I'd like to bring back samples of the ore in various stages of refinement, but we'll see what's there and bring back what we can."

"Do we know if the planet is inhabited?" Daniel asked. "And if it is, what level of civilisation are we talking about here?"

"Yeah," Jack nodded, "we don't want to upset any locals by insulting their customs."

Ranma shot the Colonel a dirty look, but remained tight-lipped.

"Are you sure that there's nothing going on here?" Carter asked.

"Why is the planet called PX-Whatever?" the martial artist asked, quickly changing the subject.

"It's based on a binary code the computer uses for extrapolation, Ranma," the blonde explained. "The computer translates the order of the symbols on the Stargate to come up with an address. These are the symbols that Teal'c provided us with."

After Carter finished drawing the symbols on the whiteboard, Ranma looked over them and his eyes widened.

"No… But do we have to go to THAT planet? Can't we go somewhere else?"

"What's wrong with this planet? Teal'c said it was safe," O'Neill said.

"Indeed. The Goa'uld have abandoned this planet almost two years ago, although I do not know the reason for this."

Ranma rubbed his neck in embarrassment, sweat trickling down his brow. "Ah-hehe, you see, umm…"

"What aren't you telling us, Ranma?" O'Neill asked, unsure if he was getting a bad feeling about this.

"Do I really need to go with you on this mission? Can't I just borrow your Stargate and go home with my father?" Ranma asked, laughing nervously. "I mean, I did blow up Apophis…"

"Tell us what's up with this planet, Ranma."

The martial artist sighed. "One word: Bacchus."

"Oh," Daniel and Jack said in unison.

"What about 'Bacchus'?" Carter demanded. "What aren't you telling me?"

"Indeed, I am also unaware of the significance of the word Bacchus," Teal'c added.

"Festival; wine; dancing with…" Ranma paused as counted on his fingers. "Yeah, dancing with eight naked girls; waking up under those girls feeling tired and sticky."

SG-1 looked at the pigtailed man in shock.

"Run that by us again, Ranma," Jack requested. "I mean, just so we're clear. The last time you were on this planet, you ended up at an orgy?"

The martial artist nodded once. "Yeah, but in my defence they insisted."

"Insisted?" Carter asked, her left eye twitching with barely suppressed rage.

"Yeah, I mean, I would have been happy with just some food for the work I did. I never wanted things to get out of hand."

"What work did you do for them, Ranma?" Daniel asked. He noticed the look on the blonde's face and quickly added, "It was just manual labour, right? You know, like helping out on a farm?"

"Well, it started out like that. Which was fine – I was quite happy to move bags of grain about all day," Ranma explained. "It's just when someone mentioned something about making an 'offering to the Gods of Fertility' that things got a bit weird."

General Hammond chose that moment to walk into the Briefing Room. "Is something the matter, Colonel O'Neill?"

"General Hammond, Ranma has been to this planet before."

"Oh, I trust he has a good relationship with the local people."

"You could say that, Sir," Captain Carter replied through clenched teeth.

"Very well, you leave in 30 minutes," the bald man said.

"Err, General, can I have a quick word?" O'Neill said, quickly shooting a look towards the blonde officer that told her he was dealing with the situation.

"Certainly, meet me in my office in five minutes."

* * *

"Colonel O'Neill, what is it that you wanted to talk to me about? Do you think that the locals will have a problem with Ranma?"

"Sir, do you remember what happened when I was on Argos?" Jack asked.

"You found yourself married to a local," General Hammond replied.

"Yeah," the Colonel winced. "The thing is, Ranma might find himself in a similar situation on this mission."

"Colonel O'Neill, are you telling me that your new friend is an interstellar playboy?"

"Kinda, maybe…"

The General rubbed his bald head. "Colonel O'Neill, you certainly have a knack for finding interesting companions."

"It stops things from getting dull, Sir."

"Dismissed, Colonel."

* * *

Samantha Carter was not happy. She had experienced a number of situations that had been incredibly sexist, at least in her opinion, but this revelation about Ranma's activities on this planet were in a completely different league.

She noticed just how worked up she was getting and took a deep breath to calm down, lest she do something foolish, like punching a wall.

Walking to the Embarkation Room, she cast a dark look at Ranma before turning to face Daniel.

"Daniel, we're not likely to…"

The scholar held up his hands. "I honestly have no idea, Sam. But I find it highly unlikely that we're going to be invited to…" he trailed off when Ranma turned to face them.

"They told me that the fertility offering thing is only every five years," the martial artist explained. "It's not been five years since I was there."

"Then why are you reluctant to return, Ranma?" Teal'c asked.

"Because several of the girls were trying to get me to stay and raise families there," Ranma answered. "They were trying to convince my father that I should marry them."

"What's wrong with marriage?" Carter asked, hoping that Ranma wasn't as irresponsible as he seemed.

"Because when you're wanted dead or alive in countless star systems, you don't want to hand people unnecessary leverage over you. We all know how ruthless the Goa'uld can be, so why would I want to risk women and children getting hurt?"

The members of SG-1 had to concede that Ranma had a point there, Jack O'Neill's arrival prevented further discussion on the matter.

"Are we all ready to go?"

"Yes, Sir," Carter nodded.

"Good," the Colonel smiled. "Now, are we going to behave ourselves? I don't want any infighting, outfighting, random seduction of locals or my team members. I just want us to pick up some rocks and bring them home."

"Sounds good to me," Ranma said as the wormhole opened. "One question: if we meet up with the locals, are we allowed to stay for dinner?"

"Just get through the Stargate, Ranma!" Carter ordered. "Stupid greedy jerk…"

The other members of SG-1 decided that it would be better to do as Sam had "suggested" and strolled through the Stargate after the pigtailed martial artist.

* * *

Stepping through the wormhole, SG-1 scanned the area.

"O'Neill, I see several people approaching on horseback," Teal'c pointed to a hill to the left of the Stargate.

The Colonel looked through his binoculars. "I can't see any weapons, so I guess it's just civilians out for a ride."

"Can I have a look?" Ranma asked. When handed the binoculars, he was able to make out red and gold crest. "Oh crap."

"What? Are we going to be attacked?" O'Neill asked, scanning the area for potential ambush spots.

"Not quite," the martial artist said as he looked at the nearest rider, a young woman dressed in a red riding outfit. "Good news/bad news situation here. Good news is that unless we forget our manners and upset people, there shouldn't be any trouble getting what we want."

"And the bad news?" Jack asked, checking his MP5.

"That welcoming committee was sent by Baroness Liante."

"And why is that bad news?" Daniel asked, checking his own weapon.

Ranma handed the binoculars back to O'Neill. "It's bad news because Baroness Liante hates to see people single and lonely. She may try to fix you up with a local."

"I am already married," Teal'c stated.

"That hasn't stopped her arranging group marriages in the past."

SG-1 turned to look at Ranma.

"Oh, how I wish I was joking," the martial artist added. "Also, she may try to fix Captain Carter up with one of us guys."

"…" the blonde held up a finger to interrupt. "Wait, what?"

"The Baroness plays by a different set of rules to the rest of us," Ranma explained. "Hell, she barely plays by her own rules. Just be careful not to upset her or we'll all be in trouble. And my plans for the future don't include staying here to help make the next generation."

"Neither do mine," O'Neill said, putting the safety back on his weapon. "Let's go and meet the welcoming committee."

* * *

"Halt, who goes there?" the lead horsewoman asked, her keen vision scanning the visitors. "Wait, are you Ranma Saotome?"

"Crap." Ranma's shoulders slumped. He took a deep breath and looked up at the blonde. "Yes, I am Ranma Saotome; I'm here with these folks because we want some of that trinium ore."

"And just what makes you think that Baroness Liante is going to let you just take what you want from our world?"

"We're not here to mine the planet, we're just looking for some samples to take home and study," the martial artist countered. "Just twenty or thirty kilos of ore in various stages of refinement and we'll leave you alone."

The horsewoman looked down at Ranma. "Are you sure you're Ranma Saotome? I always thought he was… more impressive."

Carter somehow managed to contain her snigger at the way the arrogant martial artist was regarded by the locals.

"If you don't believe me, that's fine, but didn't the Baroness say that if I was to ever return here, I'm to see her in person as soon as possible?" Ranma asked. "Do you really want to upset the Baroness?"

"No," the blonde conceded. "What are your names?"

"Colonel Jack O'Neill."

"Captain Samantha Carter."

"Dr. Daniel Jackson."

"Teal'c."

* * *

Thirty-five minutes later, SG-1 arrived at Baroness Liante's manor.

Well manicured grounds surrounded a three-storey building, clad in brilliant white stone. Seven marble pillars supported the front of a large stone portico, and in the corners of the building, there were towers that overlooked the surrounding area.

Jack O'Neill removed his cap and scratched his head. "Someone's done alright for themselves."

"I've never seen architecture quite like this before," Daniel commented. "I'm seeing elements of classic Roman villa design, but the towers… They seem out of place, but they look functional."

"We can see the Stargate from here, that's how we knew you were coming," the lead escort explained from atop her horse. "The Baroness also wanted to keep a look out for when Ranma Saotome returned. Though I don't understand why…"

Ranma rubbed his face. "I'm doomed, aren't I? Just what gods did I upset? Anyway, I'm sorry for being rude, but that's your name?"

"Lieutenant Raquel Falco, of the Baroness' Household Cavalry," the horse rider introduced herself.

"It is nice to meet you, Lieutenant Falco," O'Neill smiled pleasantly. "Shall we meet the Baroness?"

"You're eager; the Baroness likes eager people," Raquel commented knowingly. She led SG-1 and Ranma to the entrance and handed her horse off to a uniformed young man. "Follow me."

"O'Neill, I believe that I have a bad feeling about this," Teal'c said in a quiet voice.

Daniel's gaze swept over some of the statues that were decorating the manor. "You're not the only one, Teal'c."

Carter also looked at some of the alabaster sculptures. "Whoa."

"Yeah, the Baroness likes art like this," Ranma nodded in understanding. Then he saw what had caught the Captain's attention. "Oh crap."

The statue was of a man wearing a toga that seemed to barely cover his modesty and a lecherous smirk. The statue's hair was styled in a very familiar pigtail.

"Wait does that statue have…"

"I see that you've found the latest piece of my collection," a regal voice commented dryly.

SG-1 turned to face a brunette, wearing a long deep blue dress.

"… Baroness Liante, I presume," Colonel O'Neill bowed respectfully. "I'm Colonel Jack O'Neill, and this is my team SG-1. We're here to…"

Jack trailed off when the brunette suddenly appeared in his personal space and inspected him.

"…Baroness?"

Baroness Liante intense look of scrutiny melted into a pleasant smile. "Yes, I am Baroness Liante. What can I do for you?"

"Well, we're hoping to negotiate for some trinium ore, possibly coming to a commercial arrangement," the Colonel explained.

"I see," the brunette nodded. She cast her gaze towards Ranma. "Well, I see you mean business."

"What makes you say that?" Jack asked.

"Well, you've brought something incredibly valuable to the bargaining table," the Baroness said, gesturing to Ranma. "You'd be surprised how many girls ask me about getting Ranma to return here."

"What? But you said that was a one-time thing!" the martial artist shouted, suitably outraged. "And what the Hell's up with that statue of me!?"

Liante just shrugged coyly before turning to O'Neill. "So then, Colonel Jack O'Neill, just how much trinium ore are you looking for?"

"As much as you're able to spare, Baroness," Jack answered truthfully.

"Hmm… Well, I suppose that we should discuss this over dinner. Tell me, Colonel Jack O'Neill, are there any special dietary requirements for SG-1?"

"Not that I'm aware of, Baroness."

"Very well, I like it when things like dinner are kept simple. Follow me," Liante said, turning theatrically. "Oh, and Lt. Falco?"

"Yes, Baroness?"

"After you've shown our guests to their rooms, change into your dress uniform – you'll be joining us for dinner too."

"As you wish, Baroness."

* * *

Sitting on the bed of his room with the members of SG-1, Ranma looked up at Jack O'Neill. He folded his arms across his chest and waited for the Colonel to speak first.

"Alright, Ranma, what's the deal with the Baroness?"

"Don't underestimate her. The Goa'uld did."

"That would explain why they have not returned," Teal'c surmised. "Do you know what it was that she did to the Goa'uld?"

Ranma nodded. "Oh yes. It's during that little struggle that she cemented her reputation. When she's angry, she can make you wish you were dead."

"Then shouldn't we try to keep her happy?" Daniel asked.

"Ordinarily, I'd agree with you. Part of the problem is that the Baroness knows precisely what to use to get her own way, be it by fair means or foul."

"That sounds like the voice of experience," said Carter, faintly amused by Ranma's predicament.

"Emotional blackmail, regular blackmail, brute force, coercion, bribery, offers of sexual favours: I've seen her use all of them," the martial artist sighed.

"So, what? We should abort the mission?" Jack asked.

"Hell no, she'll track us down and punish us if we just leave," Ranma said, rubbing the left side of his torso in memory. "You just need to be careful. Oh, and before I forget, their 'dress uniforms' might be different to what you're expecting, so try not to stare too much."

"Gotcha," the Colonel nodded.

There was a knock at the door and two guards entered.

"The Baroness has asked us to escort you to dinner," a young man bowed. "Please follow us."

The other guard, a young woman of about 22 looked at the visitors and recognised Ranma. "You! I know you!"

"Err… you do?" Ranma asked.

"Yeah, I had to…" the female guard trailed off when she realised that revealing some of her more clandestine orders was a bad idea. "Never mind that now, please follow us to the dining hall."

The pigtailed man scratched his head in confusion but shrugged and followed the guards out of his room.

* * *

The young female guard led the visitors towards the grand hall.

SG-1 were looking at the décor, noticing that there were some paintings of a great battle, they saw that a trio of death gliders had been destroyed by an increasingly familiar looking man.

"Err, Ranma, I don't suppose you'd care to explain how this battle went, would you?" O'Neill asked.

"It's a long story," the martial artist replied. He looked up to see a painting of him and his father in formal attire with their honours. It made him swell with pride. "Soon, Dad, soon we can go home."

"So this is your father?" Sam asked.

"Yes," the Baroness confirmed from the entrance to the grand hall. She was dressed in a purple satin toga, with her hair curling around her slender neck. "I thought I told you to bring your father with you the next time you visited, Ranma."

Ranma clenched his jaw for a moment before smiling politely at the aristocrat. "Alas, as much as I'd like to bring my father to visit you, Baroness, I have a prior agreement. And you wouldn't want me to cheat people, would you?"

"A fair point, Ranma," Liante smiled. "Now, follow me."

The pearl-white doors opened to reveal a dark wooden table. A white linen cloth covered the central length.

Five master crafted chairs were positioned each side of the table, with a more ornate, gilded chair at the head of the table. Behind four of the chairs stood high ranking officers.

'Female officers,' O'Neill noted.

"Ranma was right about their uniforms," Daniel whispered.

The basic dress uniforms were crimson capes, fastened around the officers' necks by a gold clasping mechanism. A white leotard that seemed to expose far too much cleavage for a senior officer and matching skirt brought forth the same thought in the American's minds – cheerleaders. The outfits were completed with black leather boots that reached mid-thigh.

After a moment's examination, it became clear that there were some subtle differences between the uniforms, mainly colour flashes on the leotards, but there were some more noticeable variations in their accessories.

One of the women, a raven-haired woman in her early thirties, was carrying an ornate riding crop.

"Hello there, I'm Colonel Ionas, of the Household Cavalry. Hello again, Ranma," she winked playfully.

"Hello again, Colonel Ionas," Ranma waved.

"Don't be so cold, Ranma," the raven-haired Colonel pouted. "I've told you to call me Sarnia."

The martial artist laughed nervously as SG-1 looked at him. "Moving along, how are you Admiral Tiante?"

A blonde woman, slightly older than Colonel Ionas, smiled at Ranma. "Well, I'd be happier if you were to help with some training, Ranma."

"Training?" Ranma repeated. "Well, if I didn't have plans, I'd be there to start first thing in the morning, Admiral."

"Oh, and what plans are these, Ranma?"

"I believe they involve his father, Maria," the Baroness interjected.

"Oh," Admiral Tiante said, that piece of information scuppering her immediate plans for some bath time fun.

Baroness Liante had made it clear that Genma Saotome was an important person, not only to the young man that travelled with him, but more significantly, to the Baroness herself.

And it was a brave person that defied the Baroness.

The next officer, a brunette, looked over SG-1 with some interest. 'That guy with the glasses is kinda cute….'

"I'm Colonel Sandhurst; I'm in charge of logistics."

The final officer to speak was a redhead, who stood significantly shorter than the others. She was also the youngest of the Baroness' guests. "Hello Ranma."

Ranma sighed. "Hello Lieutenant Meinos."

"Two things, one: it's Captain Meinos now," the redhead said, gesturing to her rank insignia. "And two: who is this new blonde woman you're with?"

"I'm Captain Carter of the United States Air Force," Sam replied defensively. "And I'm not with Ranma. I only met him the other day."

"I've seen it take less than that," Captain Meinos huffed. "So, how did you meet her, Ranma?"

"It's a long story, Rosetta. I'll tell you all you want to know, but you need to learn to be less confrontational. That's why you keep getting into fights," the martial artist chided.

"I think it's more down to people being jerks," the redhead muttered.

The sound of footsteps rapidly approaching cut off further discussion on Captain Meinos' behaviour.

"Sorry I'm late," Lieutenant Falco apologised breathlessly. "It took me a while to find my knife.

"Knife? I thought this was dinner," Jack asked. "Are you all armed?"

"Oh yes," the Baroness smiled. "I've seen officers captured at official functions because they were unarmed. It's true that it's only a knife tucked in the boot, but it's better than having to fend off attackers with a salad fork."

"Bah, a salad fork is enough to take down a death glider."

"Wait, what?" the human members of SG-1 asked in unison as they turned to look at Ranma.

* * *

To be continued…?


	4. Part 4

Snake in the Horse's Shadow

By Lord Raa

* * *

Disclaim-me-do: There's a fine line between entertainment and a hostage situation.

* * *

Part 4

* * *

"What are you looking at me like that for?" Ranma asked as he became the centre of attention.

"You took out a death glider with a salad fork?" O'Neill asked.

"Yeah. It wasn't flying that fast."

"How?" Carter demanded. "Just how can you take out a moving death glider with a piece of cutlery?"

"The easiest way is to stab it into the cockpit canopy while smiling like this," Ranma explained with a psychotic grin on his face. "That usually scares the pilot enough so he crashes. Sometimes though, you get a brave pilot and you have to prise open the canopy and start laughing."

"Oh, so you're just making them crash?" the blonde Captain asked, nodding in understanding. "That makes sense. Wait, you said that was the easiest way. How else have…"

"Carter, not now," O'Neill interrupted. "Let's eat, shall we?"

"Oh, you're a no-nonsense, take charge type of guy, I like that," the Baroness smiled. She gestured for everyone to take their seats. "Please, make yourselves comfortable. So then, who is Colonel Jack O'Neill and what does he do?"

The Air Force Colonel smiled back and gave a truncated history of his life so far and his time with the SGC.

"Interesting," Liante smiled. "So, about this ore you want, how much do you want to take back with you?"

"As much as we can, Baroness," Jack replied.

"I think that we can spare… 20kg for every day you let us keep Ranma."

"…I should have known," Ranma muttered under his breath.

"…" O'Neill was at a loss for words.

"Just the night then, you can have 15kg to go in the morning," the Baroness smiled pleasantly. She cast a look between Tiante and Ionas, gauging which of the two senior officers wanted Ranma more.

"Well, I suppose if we're staying the night…"

"Oh that's just perfect," Ranma said bitterly, throwing his cutlery on the table. "I understand that I still need your help, but you've always had the best part of the deals we've done. I don't expect stuff for free, but I saved all your lives when Apophis attacked and I got lunch. You took care of my shoulder and you insisted on stripping me naked.

"And in order to use your Stargate to bring my father home, you make me get you some trinium ore. But that's not enough for you – you need to pimp me out. You know, some people would think that saving your lives from a Goa'uld invasion fleet would be enough for all the things you did for me."

The martial artist stood up from the table and stormed out, nearly tearing the door of its hinges.

"I see what sort of people you are now," Baroness Liante said, clearly disappointed with how things had turned out. "I was testing you."

"Err, one question: does Ranma know about the Iris?" Daniel asked.

"What's this Iris?" Colonel Ionas asked.

"It's a defence mechanism we've installed on our Stargate. If you don't broadcast the right signal, it won't open and matter can't reintegrate at our end," Carter explained.

"So does Ranma know about this Iris?" Ionas asked.

"I don't think it's come up…" the blonde trailed off in horror as she realised that the brash martial artist might kill himself. "We've got to find him before he dials home!"

Baroness Liante nodded and clapped her hands to get the attention of her servants and bodyguards. "We need to find Ranma before he activates the Stargate. If we don't, he could die."

The Baroness' retinue scattered to relay the message and scour the area for the martial artist.

O'Neill grimaced at the way the situation was playing out and looked at SG-1. "We're going to help find Ranma. I don't suppose any of you know how to track down a ninja?"

"I am unaware of any methods for tracking down a ninja," Teal'c answered. "But I will assist in any way I can."

Rosetta slipped away from the others and out of the building.

* * *

Every available member of the Baroness' armed forces, some 250 men and women, started to search the building and surrounding area, with the fastest horsemen charging off to the Stargate, hoping to stop Ranma from travelling to his certain doom.

In the room SG-1 had been assigned, Jack O'Neill handed out the thermal imaging equipment to his team.

"Sir," Carter started.

"Not now, Carter. I know I screwed up," the Colonel said checking the battery on his own goggles. "It's not that I don't want Ranma to go home with his dad, but the situation is complicated."

"I understand that sir, but if we can't let Ranma go with his knowledge of the Stargate program, what are we going to do?" the blonde asked.

"That is the complicated thing, Carter."

* * *

In a hilltop clearing, Ranma sat on his back, looking up at the stars. He sighed wistfully.

"I know, Pops, I know. I should have put up with their crap for a bit longer, but I'm so close to getting you home."

There was a rustling to his left.

"Go away if you value your legs," Ranma warned.

The rustling continued.

"This is your final warning; I'm not in a good mood."

A redheaded woman emerged from the undergrowth. "I'm sorry, Ranma, but the Baroness has ordered everyone to search for you."

"Why?"

"Because if you dial your Stargate without sending a signal through, you'll die," the woman explained.

"Why am I not surprised?" Ranma sighed. He turned his head. "Rosetta, how did you know I'd be here?"

"I…err, I'd rather not say," Rosetta blushed.

"Rosetta, I told you I'm not in a good mood right now."

The redhead sat down next to Ranma. "Ranma, what's up?"

The martial artist scratched his head. "I'm tired and I want to go home with my father."

"Why don't you make a home here?" Rosetta suggested, hoping that Ranma wouldn't see the blush on her cheeks.

Ranma sat up and smiled at the redhead. "Rosetta, I know you like me."

'He knows I like him! Now is this where he tells me he likes me?' the Captain thought, her stomach somersaulting.

"And I do like it here; it's got nice weather and the food is excellent and most of the people here are nice," the Japanese man smiled. "But it's not home for me."

"But… but it could be if you let it…"

"Rosetta, I promised my father I'd get him home. What's the longest you've ever been away from your home town?"

"Eight weeks, when I went through basic training," the redhead replied.

"It's been ten years since I last saw my planet, Rosetta. My father doesn't know if any of his friends are still alive. I don't even know if I've still got family back in Japan," Ranma sighed.

Rosetta could only think of one thing to do when she heard that. She embraced Ranma tightly, resting her head on his chest.

"R-Rosetta?"

"I'm sorry, Ranma, I…"

The martial artist smiled gently. "Thank you, Rosetta. I needed that."

The Captain smiled. 'Does this mean he'll be kissing me now?'

"Here, let me give you something."

'He's going to do _that_?' Rosetta's eyes widened. "I… I'm not sure that I'm ready for that…"

"Sure you are," Ranma insisted as he lifted the petite redhead in front of his lap.

The Captain had heard all sorts of wild tales about Ranma and braced herself for the worst. Rosetta thought back to the rumours from the fertility offering that was made during Ranma's last visit, how the dozens of girls had collapsed from exhaustion after he'd finished with them.

How he gotten up to eat his fill before walking off to have his way with Admiral Tiante and then Colonel Ionas.

Captain Meinos blinked when she realised that Ranma wasn't touching her body, only her hair. "R-Ranma?"

"Don't worry, I'm nearly done," the martial artist said before reaching over and removing the string from his own pigtail. After a few quick hand movements, he had finished his work. "There we go."

"What did you do?" Rosetta asked turning to face Ranma. "Y-you let down your hair!"

"And I've put yours up, Rosetta."

"Why?"

"This is going to sound really weird, but," Ranma's voice held a tone of embarrassment, "But I always thought of you as the little sister I never had."

"You do?" Rosetta asked, her heart sinking.

"Yeah, there's just something about the way you act that makes me think that it's how you would have grown up with me. Best. Little. Sister. Ever," the martial artist rubbed the top of Rosetta's head playfully to punctuate his words. "Come on, let's go back."

"Yeah," the Captain sighed.

"Well, if you're going to take that attitude, I won't carry you home."

"Oh… you twisted my arm, Ranma."

Ranma scooped Rosetta up in his arms and strolled back to the Baroness' manor, inadvertently removing the Captain's cape.

* * *

Teal'c was searching a hillside when he heard someone approaching him. He looked up to see Ranma carrying Rosetta in his arms.

As the Jaffa was about to signal Colonel O'Neill, Ranma stopped.

"Rosetta, you go on ahead back to the Baroness, tell them I'm fine, but I'm still thinking things over," the martial artist said as he set the redhead on the ground.

"What's up, Ranma? What are you going to do?"

Teal'c knew he had to prepare himself, but he wasn't quite sure what for. He'd seen Ranma kill with ease, but the way he'd gently set the girl on the ground suggested he wasn't filled with murderous rage.

"I'm going to talk with that man there," Ranma replied. "Don't worry, Rosetta, we'll just be talking before we head back to the Manor."

Rosetta looked between the two warriors. "Just talking? I saw how angry you were…"

"I promise that I won't attack anyone. Not promising there won't be a fight, but if there is one, I won't have started it."

"OK, but you better come back soon," the redhead warned, glaring at the Jaffa.

"You know I can take care of myself," Ranma smirked. "Now run along, I want to talk in private."

When they were alone, the martial stepped towards Teal'c. "So then, Teal, what's your story?"

"Teal'c," the dark-skinned warrior corrected.

"Sorry," Ranma held his left hand up in deference. "So, Teal'c, how did you end up with these guys?"

"I was First Prime of Apophis and had been ordered to kill a number of humans," Teal'c explained. "I was convinced to save them by Colonel O'Neill and SG-1. After that I joined the SGC."

"So you betrayed Apophis? Wasn't he your god?"

"A false god, and I did it to free my people."

"I see," Ranma nodded. He ran his hands through his long hair and sighed. "How do you feel about O'Neill?"

"He is my friend," Teal'c replied honestly. "We have risked our lives for each other and would do so without hesitation."

"How do they treat you?"

"They treat me very well."

"So they let you have a life of your own, outside of the Stargate?" the martial artist asked. "If say, you want to go out to see a film, they let you?"

"The Stargate is not common knowledge on your world, neither is the existence of intelligent non-humans," the Jaffa explained. "Because of that, I cannot leave the base freely, unlike the other members of the SGC."

Ranma stopped. "Wait, so you're a prisoner?"

"I am sure that the situation would be different for you and your father, Ranma."

The Japanese man was about to counter that when Teal'c's radio burst into life.

"¬Teal'c, we need you back at the Stargate – we're under attack!¬" Carter screamed into the radio.

"We'll be there," the Jaffa said. "We must go."

"…" Ranma sighed. He shook his head, mentally cursing his inability to refuse help to a woman in danger. "Stargate, right… it's in that direction."

The pair ran off to the west, heading towards the battle.

* * *

Ten armoured Jaffa warriors emerged from the Stargate and started their attack on everyone they saw. The leader noticed that there were some humans dressed differently and ordered fire to be focused upon them.

As the volley of energy blasts made SG-1 scurry for cover, Carter turned to O'Neill.

"Sir, are you alright?"

"I'm just fine, at least it's only ten right now," the Colonel smiled sarcastically before returning fire. He ducked when the enemy fire started to chip away at the stone wall he and Sam were using for cover. "Damn it, we're pinned down and I left the grenades in our room."

Sam returned fire and grimaced when the magazine in her MP5 ran out of ammo. She ducked back down and started to reload. "Sir, it gets worse – I'm down to my last 30 rounds."

"Same here, Carter," O'Neill grunted as he cocked his own weapon. "Do we have an ETA for Teal'c and Daniel?"

Before the Captain could answer, their radios crackled into life.

"¬Colonel O'Neill, I found Ranma and we are heading towards the Stargate,¬" Teal'c informed them.

"See, sometimes things do go right for us," Jack smiled.

"Kree!" the lead Jaffa shouted. "We are here for the Baroness. If you value your lives, you will surrender her to us now."

Jack turned to Carter. "We've got 60 rounds between us, plus side arms. We don't know when Teal'c will get here or where Daniel is. Options?"

There was the faintest of landing sounds a metre behind the two officers. A cocky voice spoke up. "It's only ten Jaffa, what are you worried about?"

"Oh, and what do you normally do in this situation?" the Colonel asked.

"Well, I don't think they're from a major System Lord, so one of two things will happen when I stand up and do this," Ranma smirked. Standing up he shouted out at the attackers. "Kree Jaffa!"

The helmets on the Jaffa opened to get a better look at the long haired man standing defiantly before them.

"This planet is under the protection of the Ha're Kek, you can leave now or you can remain here in pieces!"

"The Ha're Kek are an excuse made up by incompetent Jaffa for their failures!" the lead Jaffa countered.

There was a whooshing sound and one of the Jaffa fell to the ground, its head rolling away.

"And I suppose that didn't just happen?" Ranma smirked. He started to approach the Jaffa. "This is your last chance, leave now or die."

"I obey my lord Bes'Ter and no other!"

"Then you all die today," the martial artist said sadly, clapping his hands together three times in prayer.

"Kill him!"

Ranma looked up at the staff weapons that were pointed at him and smirked.

"You pair," he said over his shoulder, "watch and learn. Three, two, one: it's go time!"

The martial artist ran at full speed towards the Jaffa, jinking left and right to avoid the predictable firing patterns. Then he disappeared from view.

"Wait, where is…" O'Neill trailed off when he saw Ranma reappear in the middle of the Jaffa and start punching them unconscious.

Three seconds later, Ranma was wearing a cocky smirk as he stood over the Jaffa's stunned bodies. "So then, about our deal to get me home?"

"We're very sorry about earlier, Ranma, but the situation is complicated," the Colonel apologised. "The Stargate is a secret back home."

"And that's my problem how? I don't care if people think you're trying to make turkeys fly or dealing with these jerks," the martial artist said, casually kicking an insensate alien in the head to highlight his point. "You said you'd get me and my father home."

As he tried to decide what the right course of action was, Jack noticed that there were some members of the Household Cavalry rushing towards them. He sighed in defeat.

"Let's get everyone together and go home. That includes you, Ranma. I can only promise that we'll get you and your father home, not that you won't be asked a million questions by a hundred different people."

"Thank you," Ranma bowed. "I'll see if I can get you some ore."

"Ranma, what's going on?" Lt. Falco asked, noticing that there had been a struggle.

"Lt. Falco, you'll be glad to know that we'll be leaving soon," the martial artist smiled.

"What?" another horse rider demanded. "You are coming back, aren't you? You're the reason I joined the Household Cavalry!"

"Really?" Lt. Falco turned to her teammate. "I never did get why the Baroness insisted I join the Household Cavalry."

"Not this again," Ranma sighed. "I should've kept my mouth shut about my name."

"What do you mean, Ranma?" asked O'Neill.

"It's not something I'm going to talk about now."

Colonel Ionas arrived with more cavalry and Teal'c.

"You didn't leave any for us, Ranma," the raven-haired woman pouted playfully.

The long haired man shrugged. "Sorry about that, Colonel, but you know how I don't like these jerks at the best of times."

"I take it you'll be leaving now?"

"Yeah. Oh, and apparently these guys are Bes'Ter's Jaffa. They wanted the Baroness," Ranma explained. "I only killed one of them, so you can get some answers if you want."

"Oh, people to interrogate, the Baroness will be happy," Ionas smiled. "Wait, why didn't you kill them all?"

"I didn't know who knew the gate address where they came from. I needed a backup plan in case these guys changed their minds about letting me go home."

"But they have an 'Iris' to protect their Stargate, without a code you'll die."

"They do? That would have ended badly," Ranma said nonchalantly. It was easy for him to joke about this, since he'd never intended to use the Stargate to go home. He would have just stolen a ship and done it the old-fashioned way.

Carter turned to O'Neill. "Sir, that would have…"

"Tell me something I don't know, Carter," Jack said, cutting her off. He looked around. "Where's Daniel?"

* * *

To be continued….

Pre-read by Chi Vayne, previewed on various intertubes.

Now, it is time for some omake.

* * *

"Jack, there's something that's been bothering me." Daniel turned to O'Neill.

"Oh?"

"Yeah. How come we can understand Ranma? I mean, he's Japanese right, so when did he learn how to speak English to the point where we can understand him so easily?"

"That's a good point, Daniel. Let's ask Carter, maybe she knows."

The men walked to Captain Carter's office and knocked on the door.

"Can I help you, Sir?" the blonde asked with a cheerful smile.

"Yeah, it's about Ranma," O'Neill said, scratching his head. "How come we can understand him?"

"Well, I think that it's because this is sci-fi, Sir. In science fiction, you either speak in subtitles or in English. Given that this is a written story, subtitles don't really work in this situation," Cater explained.

The two men looked at each other and nodded in understanding.


	5. Part 5

Snake in the Horse's Shadow

By Lord Raa

* * *

Disclaim-me-do: The best vegetable is pork.

* * *

Part 5

* * *

Colonel Sandhurst allowed herself a small smile as she led Daniel Jackson on a little detour.

"So, what do you know about Ranma?" the archaeologist asked his guide.

'Ugh, another person asking about Ranma,' the brunette thought with more than a hint of disgust. "Ranma's…. well, he's not a scholar like you, Dr. Jackson."

"Well, neither are Colonel O'Neill or Teal'c," Daniel replied.

"True, but to be honest, he's something of a brute," Sandhurst admitted. "Still, some of the women around here like a bit of rough."

"I noticed that during dinner."

"Well, part of that's an act the Baroness likes to put on."

"Yeah, about the Baroness…." Daniel trailed off.

"Long story that I don't want to get into," the Colonel sighed. "So, tell me about yourself."

"What would you like to know?"

"Do you like men or women?"

The bespectacled man blinked in surprise. "In what way?"

Colonel Sandhurst's smile turned predatory as she turned, pretended to stumble into Dr. Jackson and knocked him onto the ground. After a moment, she landed on top of his prone form. "Oh my…."

"Hey, what are you doing?" Daniel protested.

"Don't be so coy, Dr. Jackson, I can tell you're an educated man. We're alone and I'm sitting on top of you."

"I'm a married man!"

"So?"

"Daniel Jackson! Daniel Jackson!" Teal'c called out as he approached.

"Yo, Daniel! You better not be…." Jack O'Neill trailed off when he saw that his friend was lying on his back with an attractive woman in a uniform that consisted of a low cut leotard and thigh-high boots straddling him. "Daniel…"

"Have you found him, Sir?" Captain Carter asked as she jogged up to the clearing. "Oh…"

* * *

An hour later Daniel Jackson was profusely apologising to Sam about the embrace she and the rest of SG-1 had found him in with Colonel Sandhurst.

"Enough, Daniel," the blonde sighed as she hit the last symbol open the Stargate. "I know that you never intended to fool around with another woman."

"I have never considered you to be the boy-play type, Daniel Jackson," Teal'c said, defending his friend.

"That's 'playboy', Teal'c," O'Neill winced. He punched in the code for the iris and turned to the Baroness and her entourage. "Well, it's been interesting, Baroness."

"Yes," Liante smiled, "it has, hasn't it? Well, don't be strangers, now that we know how to find each other."

Ranma smiled nervously. 'At least that iris thing of theirs will keep them from just appearing and trying to find me.'

"You make sure that you come back, Ranma!" Rosetta pouted cutely.

"We'll see," the martial artist winked before readying the large crate of ore. Knowing that there would be tears in the eyes of his friends, Ranma strode towards the Stargate. He turned to face the tearful locals. "It's time for me to go home. Take care."

SG-1 followed the Japanese man through the wormhole back to Earth.

* * *

General Hammond stood in the Embarkation Room to greet the returning travellers.

Colonel O'Neill was the last to arrive.

"Took a bit longer than planned, did it Colonel?" the Texan asked.

"Long story, Sir. Suffice to say that we've got some trinium ore for Carter and the rest of the eggheads to look at," Jack smiled.

"That's good to hear."

"Ahem," Ranma coughed theatrically.

"Oh, and we need to let Ranma get his father home to Japan," the Colonel added after casting a quick glance towards the martial artist.

"Very well," Hammond nodded. "There'll be a debriefing in 45 minutes, then we'll plan for Ranma's father to be picked up."

"That's good to hear," Ranma smiled. "Now, where do you want this putting down?"

"You can leave it there on the ramp, Ranma," Carter answered politely.

* * *

General Hammond let out a sigh as he digested the report his flagship team had just given him.

"Colonel O'Neill, why can't missions ever go to plan?" he asked rhetorically. "Never the less, I'm glad that you've all returned in one piece with the trinium ore. Now, about getting Ranma home; do you know the coordinates to the planet where Ranma's father is on?"

"We do, Sir," Carter answered. She looked at her teammates for a moment before turning her attention back to the bald man. "However, Sir, I do have one question."

"Go ahead, Captain."

"What's going to happen to Ranma and his father?" the blonde asked. "Are they going to be allowed to go back to Japan?"

"Eventually. The top brass at the Pentagon wants to keep them on base for a while," Hammond answered. "They want to know what they know and they've got to be sure that they're not going to reveal any secrets about the Stargate."

"Seems unfair, Sir," Carter said."

"It does, Captain, but those are the orders from on high. The President happens to agree with that decision."

* * *

The following morning, Ranma was watching the dialling programme complete.

"So, that's the symbol for Earth?" he asked. "The last one being the point of origin, right?"

"Yes it is, Ranma," Captain Carter said as the wormhole engaged. "Sending the MALP through."

Five seconds later, the MALP was sending back telemetry to the SGC's computers.

"Breathable atmosphere, temperate climate, background radiation is well within safety limits," Carter relayed. "From an environmental point of view, this mission is a go, General Hammond."

"Any signs of civilisation?" the bald man asked.

"Nothing yet, but…." the blonde captain was cut off by the arrival of a man into the camera shot.

"Pops!" Ranma shouted, instantly recognising the figure. "Can I speak with him?"

"There's a speaker on the MALP," Hammond said, gesturing to a nearby microphone.

"Pops! It's me, Ranma. Well, I'm not in the stupid robot, but-"

"Hey, that robot isn't stupid," Carter protested.

The man laughed and walked to the probe. He leaned in to the camera and waved. "¬Hello there, Son.¬"

"Stay by the Stargate, Pops," Ranma said. "We can finally go home!"

Genma smiled into the camera mounted on the MALP. "¬Will do, Son.¬"

Ranma rushed to the Embarkation Room, not caring if he knocked anyone over and jumped through the Stargate.

"Sir, permission to follow him?" Jack asked.

"Granted."

* * *

On the other side of the wormhole, Ranma wrapped his arms around his father.

"Easy there, Son, it's only been a week," the balding man chided. He returned the hug.

"Sorry, Pops, it's just…. well, you know how long it's been since we've been home and now we'll be there soon."

"Yeah, I know, Son, I know," Genma said as he held Ranma at arm's length. "So, who was that woman on the radio?"

"That was Captain Carter," Ranma explained. "I don't think she likes me very much."

"Why not? You didn't walk in on her while she was in the bath, did you?"

"No," the pigtailed man shook his head. "I think it's because she's got this narrow view of the world. If she can't explain it, it freaks her out."

SG-1 emerged from the wormhole, fanning out to get a better view of the immediate area.

"I see," Genma smiled. "Ah, here are your friends."

The balding martial artist's posture stiffened. "Why is there a Jaffa with them?"

Before Ranma could answer O'Neill approached the Saotomes.

"Hi, I'm Colonel O'Neill, you must be Ranma's father."

"Genma Saotome," the stout man bowed politely. "So, what's with the Jaffa?"

"That's Teal'c, he's with us," Jack said, flashing a winning smile and gesturing for the dark-skinned warrior to approach. "Teal'c, this is Genma Saotome. Genma Saotome, this is Teal'c."

"Greetings, Genma Saotome," Teal'c bowed respectfully. "It is an honour to meet the Ha're Kek."

"If you don't mind me asking, why are you with the Tau'ri?" Genma asked.

"I was convinced to join them to free my people from false gods," the Jaffa explained.

"So, are you ready to come back with us?" O'Neill asked.

"Ready when you are, O'Neill," Ranma said, a smile on his face.

"Daniel, fire up the gate," the Colonel ordered.

"You can take the Stargate if you want to, but we'll take our shuttle, if it's all the same to you," the elder martial artist said.

"You've got a ship?" Jack asked.

"Yeah, we've got a tel'tak," Ranma nodded.

"A tel'tak would take years to reach Earth from this planet," Teal'c said.

Jack O'Neill could tell by the way the Saotomes were smirking at the Jaffa's comment that they were hiding something. 'Their shuttle's probably some sort of hot rod….'

"You guys don't mind if I hitch a ride, do you?" he asked. "I've never seen the inside of a tel'tak before."

"Well, you did try to pimp me out when we went to see the Baroness…." Ranma teased.

"You went to see the Baroness? No wonder it took you so long to find me," Genma chuckled. "Alright, if you can keep up with us, you can come with us."

The Saotomes waved goodbye to Teal'c, Carter and Daniel before walking off to where their shuttle was hidden.

"See you guys in a day or two," O'Neill said with a forced smile.

"Err, Sir, do you think it'd be OK if I came along with you?" Carter asked. "I mean, this could be an excellent opportunity look at some technology we've not seen before."

"Fine," the Colonel said. "Daniel, Teal'c, take the MALP back with you and let General Hammond know what's going on."

* * *

The journey to the Saotomes' shuttle was completed in a comfortable silence. After thirty minutes, they reached a clearing.

"So, where's the shuttle?" O'Neill asked, scanning the area for signs of a trap.

"Just here," Genma said as he reached into his pocket for a small device with a purple button on it.

Three metres in front of the Colonel, the air shimmered and a charcoal grey ship with Goa'uld design elements appeared.

"Since when did the Goa'uld have cloaking technology?" O'Neill asked Carter.

"I don't think that they do, Sir," the blonde replied, licking her lips at the prospect of getting a look at the technology that powered the ship.

"I never said that this was theirs," Genma said as he walked to his ship and opened the door. "Come along now, we don't have all day."

"How long will it take for us to get to Earth?" Captain Carter asked. "Teal'c said that a normal tel'tak would take years."

"This is no normal tel'tak," Ranma said as he followed his father into the shuttle. "Now, are you coming along or not?"

"Yes, of course," the blonde smiled, causing Jack to raise an eyebrow.

'Just what's in there?' he wondered.

* * *

The inside of the shuttle was lit with a diffuse, but pervasive white light. Every detail of every corner was clearly visible, much more so than the Apophis' ha'taks that they'd been on.

"I like what you've done with your ship," Jack said as he admired the more tasteful décor that the Saotomes had opted for.

"I found the glare you get from that much gold hurt my eyes," Genma said as he initiated the start up sequence. "And we're taking off now."

The shuttle gave a small shudder as it lifted itself off the ground. The engine noise changing from a gentle hum to a whine as it struggled with the planet's gravity for a brief moment.

Then the rapid ascension started and a matter of seconds later, the shuttle and its passengers were in orbit.

"So then, what's the symbol for Earth again, Ranma?"

"This one," Ranma said as he hit correct icon on the control panel. There was a bleeping as a Goa'uld ha'tak appeared on the radar. "It's the Goa'uld."

"How did they find us?" O'Neill asked.

"They might have tracked me after I went and borrowed some of their staff weapons," Genma said absently. He turned to see the look of disapproval on his son's face. "I'm sorry, I got bored. Like you've never done anything like that before."

"You may have a point," the pigtailed youth sighed. He turned to Jack and Sam. "So, fight or flight?"

"Flight," they replied in unison.

"Flight it is," Ranma said manoeuvring the shuttle away from the Goa'uld ship.

"Get us out of here and damn the gas mileage!" the Colonel barked as he saw the Goa'uld turn to follow them.

"Ok. Best sit down then."

The whine from engines changed pitch as they powered the hyperspace generator. For what felt like an eternity, the ship didn't seem to accelerate; instead continuing along at its sedate pace.

Finally the ship shuddered violently and it entered the hyperspace window. After setting the course and speed, Ranma turned to speak with O'Neill and Carter.

"I'm sure we told you to sit down."

"We did," Jack said, taking a deep breath before climbing up off the floor. He held out a hand for the Captain.

"Thank you, Sir," she said as she righted herself. "So, how fast are we going?"

"I don't know, we just point this thing in the right direction and tell it how much to tax the engines and fuel supply," Genma said, adjusting his glasses. "But what I do know is that it's much faster than anything the Goa'uld have."

"But can't you use the computer to work out the distance?"

"Probably, but we don't try to understand the how or the why," the stocky man said, causing O'Neill to smile.

"But how can this ship be faster than a ha'tak if its power source is so much smaller?" Carter asked.

"Do you really want to know that badly?" Ranma asked with a sigh. "Fine, follow me. But if you touch anything, I'll break your hands."

"How gallant of you," the blonde said sarcastically.

Ranma's face remained serious. "I made a promise not to let anyone touch these engines."

"Oh…."

"Do you still want to take a look around?"

"Carter, look with your eyes, not with your hands. That's an order," Jack said sternly.

"Yes Sir," the blonde saluted. "Please, Ranma, lead the way."

When they were left alone, Genma turned to the Colonel. "The rule about touching things applies to you, too."

"Fair enough," Jack smiled as he took the seat next to Genma. "So, what brings you to outer space?"

"Fate, destiny, an accident, a curse, the will of the gods; take your pick. You?"

"The day job. I'm part of the SGC – the Stargate Command. Our job is to explore the galaxy using the Stargate network."

"So, your mission is to seek out new life and new civilisations?" the balding man asked. "Sounds very Star Trek."

"Yeah, only with fewer alien babes," the Colonel replied.

"Speak for yourself."

* * *

In the engine room, Samantha Carter was astounded by what she saw.

In place of the standard naquadah reactor that powered the majority of Goa'uld technology, there sat a yellow-green crystal. It glowed gently.

"That's not naquadah, is it?"

"Nope."

"I don't suppose you know what it is, do you?"

"A gift from a friend," Ranma said enigmatically. "Now, we're about done here."

"But I have so many questions! Can I at least take some photos of it?" Carter begged.

"No."

"But…."

Ranma ushered the blonde out of the room and locked the door behind him. "No, Captain Carter, you can't take any photos of this ship. I promised not to let anyone get their hands on this technology. I told them that I'd die before I willingly let anyone get their hands on it."

The Captain sighed, finally admitting defeat. "You're right, I'm sorry Ranma. So, what's next on our tour?"

"The cargo bay, I want to see what Pops has brought with us."

* * *

Jack decided it was best not to ask too many questions about Genma Saotome's "encounters" with alien babes, especially since he knew there'd be a good chance that Ranma's total would be even higher.

Instead he opted to ask about what Genma planned to do when they got back to Earth.

"Well," the stocky man said, leaning back in his chair, "Catch up with friends and family."

"What are your plans for this ship?"

"It's not for sale."

"You're planning to give it to Japan?" Jack asked.

"No. Believe me, it'd be easy to profit from this ship, but we promised that we'd do everything we could to keep it out of people's hands," Genma said. "It's a small price to pay for my life."

"Oh?"

"Without their help, I'd still be in Sokar's hands. Being tortured to death and then brought back in a sarcophagus gets old after the first couple of times."

"Yeah, I can see that being the case," the Colonel nodded.

"Of course, I do happen to have some Goa'uld tech that I'm happy to sell, to the right people for the right price," the bespectacled man smiled.

Moments later, Ranma and Captain Carter entered the room.

"Pops, what's with the weapons in the cargo hold?" the pigtailed martial artist demanded.

"Calm down, son," Genma said. "You remember why I told you I wanted you to marry my friend's daughter? Well, that was ten years ago, I'm sure she's happily married by now. Besides, I thought that you might like the freedom to do whatever you wanted. How does becoming a doctor sound?"

"I'm not a pervert!"

"What?" Jack asked, blinking in surprise.

"You know, like how the healers always ask you to take your clothes off, even if you've got a sore throat or if they're fixing your shoulder," Ranma explained.

"There was a good reason for that, Ranma," Carter insisted. "Dr. Frasier wanted a sterile environment while she operated on you."

"And the sore throat?"

"In that case, it was probably a pervert," the blonde conceded. "Anyway, you seem like the sort who enjoys showing off."

"Not everyone likes to see men naked," Ranma countered.

"That's true," O'Neill muttered.

"We're coming up to Earth, so brace yourselves," Genma said, cutting the discussion off.

The two Americans braced themselves against the back wall of the bridge and took deep breaths.

"Just like a high-G manoeuvre, Carter."

"Yes Sir."

The shuttle slowed down to a crawl, knocking the wind out of the soldiers.

"You alright back there?" Ranma asked, barely having budged from his standing position next to his father.

"H-how did you do that?" Jack asked.

"Practice. If you think this is bad, then you should try it when you're slowing down in an atmosphere. That's a rough ride."

After a taking a moment, the Colonel climbed to his feet and looked out the window. The Earth was taking up a large portion of the view.

Genma swivelled round in his chair. "So, where can we drop you off?"

"Well, we'd like to talk to you about a few things first," Jack said.

"You want us to keep the Stargate program a secret? I think we can manage that," Ranma snorted. "We'll just tell people we've been out of the country."

"But we have so many questions for you. Please. For me," Carter asked. When she saw that her pleas weren't getting her anywhere, she remembered one of Ranma's weak points. "There'll be food!"

"Alright, we'll do it. Tell us where to drop the rings and we'll have lunch," Genma smiled.

"Rings?"

"Yeah, you don't think we're stupid enough to risk someone stealing our ship, do you?" the pigtailed youth chuckled mockingly.

"You do have a point," O'Neill conceded. "Carter, you do the honours, I'll phone home."

* * *

To be continued…..


	6. Part 6

Snake in the Horse's Shadow

By Lord Raa

* * *

Disclaim-me-do: No Nathaniel, no!

* * *

Part 6

* * *

There was a flash of light outside the main entrance to Cheyenne Mountain complex and four figures standing inside five stone rings appeared from nowhere in the brilliant sunshine.

"You know, just appearing like that in broad daylight is kinda a bad idea," O'Neill said with his usual sarcastic tone.

"Isn't materialising between floors a worse idea?" Genma shrugged. "Besides, we brought a gift."

Ranma lifted the crate up to draw attention to the gifts in question. "Shall we go inside?"

"What did you bring us?" the Colonel asked hesitantly. "General Hammond doesn't like surprises that go boom."

"Oh, this doesn't go boom, not unless you start fiddling with it," Ranma said. "Shall I tell them, Pops?"

"Go ahead, son," the elder Saotome nodded.

"It's a portable naquadah reactor."

"W-what?" Carter asked. "Are you serious? A portable naquadah reactor?"

The martial artists turned to each other and smirked knowingly.

"Carter, how about you take a look at that inside?" Colonel O'Neill suggested.

"Yes, of course, Sir," the blonde nodded. She turned to the Saotomes. "Please follow me."

Genma held back to walk with O'Neill. "She's not normally like this, is she?"

"Only when there are major scientific advances to be had."

* * *

Walking into the briefing room, Ranma gently placed the crate on the table.

"We meet again, Hammond of Texas."

"We do, Ranma. You must be Genma Saotome," the bald man said extending his hand towards Genma. "I'm General Hammond, I run the SGC."

"Greetings," Genma replied, shaking the General's hand. "So, this is the base of the famous Tau'ri, eh?"

"It is indeed, Mr. Saotome," Hammond smiled politely. "Now, please take a seat, we've got some questions for you."

"Ask away."

"What are your plans for the future, other than catching up with friends and family, of course?"

"You know," Genma leaned back in his chair, "I've not given it much thought. I suppose that I'd retire to the quiet life of enjoying good food with good company."

"That sounds like a wonderful idea," Hammond smiled. "In fact it was just the kind of life I had been enjoying before this programme was established and I was called back on active duty." Then he became serious. "Now, we've got a few questions about your travels."

"And we'd gladly answer them," Genma said, "but first, we were promised some lunch."

Ranma snorted. "That just figures. You always were more concerned about your fat stomach than anything else, pops."

"Oh why was I cursed with such an ungrateful and ill-mannered son?" the balding martial artist asked with a theatrical tone.

"Hey, you're the one who decided food was the deal clincher! At least you're not selling me off for food this time."

"I'll have you know that I haven't done that for over ten years!" Genma protested.

The members of the SGC were stunned.

"Y-you sold your son for food?" Carter asked, her right eye twitching.

"You kidding? You should hear some of the offers I get for him," Genma said, completely missing the blonde's point. "Ships, jewellery, Hell, even entire planets! All for the chance to be his bride. We could have retired a long time ago if it hadn't been for you."

"You're the one who wanted to come home, Pops. Or is your memory failing you in your old age?" Ranma taunted.

"I can still teach you a lesson, you insolent boy!"

"Calm down, there's no need to be unreasonable," General Hammond insisted. "I'll have the mess bring something down for us."

"Don't bother, we're leaving for Japan," Ranma said standing up from his seat.

"Yes, we've got some important business to attend to in Tokyo," Genma said. "Do try not to blow yourselves up when you reverse engineer the naquadah reactor."

"Yeah, not only would we feel bad if you vaporised the mountain by accident, but you'd prove those Tollan jerks right," the pigtailed man said.

"Wait, is this Tollan technology?" Carter asked.

"Nope. They're funny about what they give other people. I remember what they said about you guys," Ranma said. "Come on, Pops, let's go back home."

Five rings descended over the martial artist and they waved goodbye as they disappeared back aboard their ship.

"I think that's just proven the problem with trying to keep them here," O'Neill sighed. "Do you want us to track down where they're going in Japan, General?"

"Please do, Colonel. I'll explain the situation to the President. Captain Carter, please examine the reactor."

"Yes Sir," the scientist said, grabbing the crate and trying to rush off to her lab. "Ungh, just how did he carry this thing so easily? Teal'c, could you help me?"

"Of Course, Captain Carter," the Jaffa inclined his head. He lifted one end of the crate. "It is indeed heavier than it first looks. Ranma Saotome is a strong individual."

* * *

"Pops, you know that they do kinda have a point about just appearing in front of people," Ranma said as the shuttle manoeuvred towards Japan. "Most of the people here don't know about aliens or the Stargate."

"You're right, Son," Genma nodded. "I suppose we should at least respect their wishes on that. We should ring down on the outskirts of Tokyo."

"OK, but do you actually know where we'll be landing? Tokyo wasn't a small place when we left the last time. I doubt it's gotten smaller."

"It'll be fine," the balding man insisted.

A few minutes later, the martial artists were standing in the middle of five stone rings on the outskirts of Tokyo.

* * *

Lieutenant General Jeffrey Ellis looked thoughtful for a moment as pondered who would be phoning him up so late in the evening. He picked up the phone in his study.

"General Ellis speaking."

"¬I'm sorry to bother you, Sir, but I have General George Hammond is on the line. He says it's urgent.¬"

"Put him through, Lieutenant," the grey-haired man asked, taking a sip of his scotch. "George, how's it going? The last I heard you were getting ready for retirement."

"¬Something came up that made me put my plans on hold,¬" Hammond replied with good humour.

"Oh? Care to share?"

"¬No,¬" the Texan replied. There was a pause and his tone turned more serious. "¬Jeffrey, I need to ask a favour. "I know that you're running an Air Force base and not a Missing Persons bureau, but I need to find two Japanese men in particular and I don't speak Japanese.¬"

"This isn't an official request, is it?"

"¬No, Jeffrey, it's not. Their names are Ranma and Genma Saotome. But it's been a while since they were in Japan,¬" Hammond explained. "¬I just need to know where they are. Do not, repeat do not bother them.¬"

"It's not like you to track people down and keep eyes on them," Ellis commented as he scribbled down the names of the people his friend wanted finding. "Since when were you in the cloak and dagger game, George? You're normally pretty straight forward with people."

"¬It's a long story, Jeffrey. Maybe one day I'll be able to tell you, but at the moment, the details are classified Above Top Secret.¬"

* * *

Soun Tendo was an influential member of the Nerima town council. He had a reputation for being passionate about doing the right thing and doing the best he could to make sure that the streets were safe at night.

Plus, his eldest daughter's cooking had always made his home a popular location for certain meetings that needed to remain unofficial.

The moustachioed man had assumed that when his eldest daughter informed that there were two men to see him that two of his colleagues were enjoying his hospitality under the guise of helping to resolve some non-issue that would, could and should normally be dealt in one of the council sessions.

He looked up and blinked in surprise at the two unfamiliar figures that Kasumi had led into the reception room.

"Oh, hello, I'm sorry, was expecting someone else. Can I help you?"

"I believe so, Tendo-kun," the stockier man smiled. "Don't you recognise your old training partner, Genma Saotome?"

"S-Saotome-kun? Is it really you?" Soun asked.

"Indeed it is, Tendo-kun."

"I-it's been over twenty years! Where have you been?"

"It's a long and unbelievable tale, Tendo-kun. Allow me to introduce my son, Ranma. Ranma, this is my old training partner, Soun Tendo," Genma said with a gesture.

"Pleased to meet you, Tendo-san," Ranma said, bowing politely.

"Likewise, Ranma-kun," Soun bowed back. "Take a seat and tell me about your travels, Saotome-kun."

"I wish I could, Tendo-kun, but I promised that I keep the last ten years a secret," the balding man sighed. "But we've been out of the country for some time. It's hard to believe that Japan could change so much while we were gone."

"Indeed, the world changes at a pace that surprises all who live on it," Soun said in a tone that he hoped conveyed his wisdom.

'And those that have been off it,' Ranma thought. He scanned the room, noting that it was nothing like the architecture that he'd seen over the last decade.

"Excuse me, Father, would you like some refreshments?" a soft female voice asked.

"Yes please, Kasumi."

"I'll help," the pigtailed martial artist offered, forgetting the etiquette for guests in Japan.

"No, please stay here, it's not right for a guest to help out with such things," Kasumi insisted.

"Don't worry about it. Besides, it'll allow our fathers to catch up," Ranma said, flashing the brunette a winning smile. "He hasn't seen his friend for long time."

Kasumi looked to her father for guidance. He nodded once. "All right, but it's most improper."

After Ranma left the room, Soun turned to Genma. "Saotome-kun, I notice that Ranma-kun has grown into a fine young man."

"Indeed he has, Tendo-kun," the balding man nodded, wearing a look of pride. "If it wasn't for Ranma, we wouldn't be here today, Tendo-kun."

"Oh? It sounds like you've got some tales to tell."

"Yes, but I promised that I wouldn't tell anyone about them," Genma said with a sigh. He adjusted his glasses and looked at his old friend. "There are some things that it's best you don't know. They make our time under The Master seem like blissful childhood days."

Soun blinked as he processed his friend's words. "It seems that you have indeed experienced a great deal of hardship."

There was a pause before the moustachioed man followed up. "Do you not think that it's time for us to retire?"

"I've been ready to retire for the last ten years, Tendo-kun," the portly man laughed.

"Have you given any thought to our pledge to unite the Schools of Anything Goes?" the long haired man asked.

Genma looked thoughtful. "Well there were times where it kept me going, but for the last ten years, there were many, many times when I thought we'd never get back to…. home."

Soun missed his friend's slip as he nodded in understanding.

Not that he had any idea about the suffering the Saotomes had gone through at the hands of the Goa'uld or the various other aliens they'd encountered.

"I must confess, Saotome-kun, that I expected you to return to Tokyo when Ranma-kun was 16."

"That was the plan, Tendo-kun. Alas, fate often changes our plans for us."

"Indeed, Saotome-kun, indeed. Still, had you arrived ten years ago, Ranma would have had more choice for his fiancée."

"What?" Genma asked.

"I have three daughters, Saotome-kun, but two of them have lives of their own now. In fact, Akane, my youngest is trying to start a family," Soun explained. "The only unattached daughter I have is Kasumi."

Genma frowned for a moment. "Tendo-kun, I'm not sure I understand what you're saying. It sounds an awful lot like we should force Ranma and Kasumi to marry."

"Not force, Saotome-kun, we're not ogres," the long-haired man insisted. "But it would secure the future of the dojo."

"What would?" Ranma asked as he entered the room with Kasumi.

Kasumi frowned at Ranma's apparent lack of manners, but said nothing as she poured the tea.

"An arranged marriage between you and my daughter, Kasumi," Soun explained. "Your father and I have planned for this for many years."

"That's fair enough." The pigtailed man nodded. "Is there anything you'd like to say about this, Father?"

"We've been through too much for me to force you to marry someone you've just met, Ranma," Genma replied. "Kasumi-san here is a very attractive woman, but this is not my decision."

"What are you saying, Saotome-kun?" the long-haired man asked, not believing his ears.

"Mr. Tendo, my father and I have spent the last ten years fighting against tyrants, slavers and other monsters. To force someone into an unwanted marriage would make me just as bad as them," Ranma said. "I cannot and will not abandon my principles."

"Oh my," Kasumi murmured. She turned to look over Ranma again. As she noticed his strong looking arms, she idly wondered if she would ever be carried off by a handsome, strong man.

"Are you saying that you're too good for my daughter?" Soun demanded, clearly not expecting Ranma to act in such a rebellious manner.

"Mr. Tendo," the younger Saotome said calmly, "I don't think you realise what sort of things I've been through. How many people do you think would like to see me dead?"

The moustachioed man shrugged.

"It was a rhetorical question, Mr. Tendo, I don't know the exact number because I lost count after 100," Ranma said reaching for his cup of tea. "There are people who would burn all of Japan to a cinder to kill me. Are you sure that you want me to marry your daughter."

Soun looked at Genma, who only nodded solemnly to back his son up. "Oh…."

"Yes, it's not that I want to remain alone, it's just that I tend to find people who want to skin me alive," the pigtailed martial artist smiled. "And most of those people are willing to hurt those close to me."

There was a prolonged silence as Ranma's words were processed by the Tendos. The doorbell rang, causing Kasumi to announce that she would see who it was.

Ranma sipped his tea, reminding Soun that he had left his own drink untouched.

Kasumi returned with two people who looked to be around Ranma's age.

"Akane's here, father," the brunette smiled.

The Saotomes quickly picked up on the fact that Kasumi didn't hold the man in very high regard and shared a questioning look.

"Akane-chan, Ryoga-kun," Soun smiled happily. "How is married life treating you?"

"Very well, Mr. Tendo," Ryoga smiled as he took a place next to his father-in-law.

"We get by, Daddy," Akane smiled. "Who are your guests?"

"This is my old training partner, Genma Saotome and his son, Ranma," the moustachioed man said.

"Wait, Saotome? Didn't you want one of us to marry him?" Akane asked, finally taking her own seat.

Ryoga turned to glare at Ranma, instantly feeling threatened by the pigtailed man's presence.

Ranma ignored the menacing looks he was getting and gave Akane his full attention. 'She's pretty cute….'

"Yes, but we had a little detour," Genma smiled. "We've spent the last ten years out of the country."

"Apparently fighting tyrants and other bad men," Kasumi added. 'Though if that's true, it could make for some interesting stories….'

Akane looked at the younger Saotome and nodded, noticing that he was on a par, if not better looking than her husband. 'Damn, I could have had someone who wasn't a good for nothing idiot who can't find his way to the bathroom without ending up in some girl's bedroom.'

The female martial artist sighed softly before recomposing herself and smiling at her father. "So, have you eaten yet?"

'So that's why you arrived unannounced,' Kasumi deduced. "I was about start making dinner when the Father's guests arrived. Would you like me to set you a place, Akane?"

"Please," the younger sister smiled before turning to glare at her husband. "Ryoga wanted to come over for dinner."

"I just thought that it would be nice to have a change from ramen," Ryoga said. "That's all. It's got nothing to do with cooking skills…."

Ranma shook his head at the way Akane's face was turning red with rage at her husband's inconsiderate words. 'Anger doesn't make her cuter,' he decided.

"So, what do you do for a living then, Akane-san?" the pigtailed Saotome asked, hoping to defuse the situation by distracting the angry woman.

"What? Oh, I'm a voice actress," Akane answered. "It was a minor role, but I was in the latest Gundam series."

"The last Gundam I saw was…." Ranma paused as he tried to recall what he'd seen. "It may have been a few episodes of Zeta Gundam. It's been a while since I watched any Japanese TV. Well, any TV, really."

"Oh? That sounds like you've got some interesting stories to tell us," Akane smiled. "Care to share them with us, Ranma-san?"

"I'd like to, but some of them are a little weird and some have me and my father not looking too clever, but pretty much all of them revolve around a secret that we promised not to talk about," Ranma said apologetically. A smile broke out on his face. "Plus anything over 10 years ago is a bit hazy."

Akane laughed softly, much to Ryoga's annoyance.

'That jerk! How dare he flirt with my wife like that?' the directionally-challenged man thought with a snarl on his face.

Ryoga's memory became conveniently patchy when it came to his own behaviour with the opposite sex. For example, there had been numerous occasions when he had found himself in Nabiki's and Kasumi's bedrooms. One of which was the day after his wedding.

It had cost him a great deal to buy Nabiki Tendo's silence on that matter.

"So, what do you do, Rumba?" Ryoga asked, deliberately trying to provoke the pigtailed man.

"I don't actually have a job right now but then again, I did just return to Japan from several years out of the country," Ranma countered. He gave Ryoga a steely glare. "And my name is Ranma Saotome."

The fanged man looked confused for a moment then met the younger Saotome's glare with one of his own. "I know that name. We went to the same school together. You humiliated me at lunchtimes. Do you remember how we fought for the last bread of the day in the cafeteria?"

"You don't need my help to be humiliated," the pigtailed martial artist said before draining his teacup. "And no, I don't remember fighting over bread at school."

"Well, we did! We arranged a duel and you ran off!"

"If you say so," Ranma shrugged, seemingly oblivious to the increasing redness of Ryoga's face. "But if it makes you feel better, I guess you can blame me for everything else that went wrong in your life since then. You know, like every time you stubbed your toe or someone failed to replace the toilet paper after using the last sheet."

"You're mocking me aren't you?" Hibiki said, his eyes narrowing. "You're mocking-"

"Oh, do shut up," Genma interrupted loudly, attracting everyone's attention. "It's clear that you feel that you're the victim of some great injustice, but do you really think that it's worth fighting my son over some bread from when you were children?"

"It's not the bread, it's the fact that your son ran away from our duel!"

Ranma waved his finger at Ryoga as he racked his memory for details. "I think I remember what happened. I'm pretty sure that I waited three days for you to show up."

"And when I arrived on the fourth day, you were long gone!" the fanged man insisted.

"Weren't we supposed to fight in an empty lot behind your house?"

Genma laughed out loud. "Hahahahahahah! Are you seriously telling me that it took you FOUR DAYS to get to the empty lot behind your house? You are either a fool or a liar."

"And my father should know," Ranma sniped good-naturedly. "He's both lied and been a fool on many occasions."

"Quiet, you," the balding man snapped, though there was a small smile on his face. "So which is it, Ryoga? Are you a fool or a liar?"

"I get lost easily!" Ryoga insisted.

"It's true," Akane sighed. "Ryoga-kun does find it hard to get to where he needs to be."

"But still, you can't expect someone to wait more than three days for a duel," Kasumi said. "Some people would argue that since Ryoga-kun wasn't there at the right time, he forfeited the duel."

"That is a valid point," Soun nodded. He'd used similar tactics to see off rival suitors for his late wife, Reiko. "But I'm sure that Ranma-kun would agree to give you a quick sparring match to satisfy your honour, wouldn't you, Ranma-kun?"

"Sure," Ranma nodded. "Hey, Akane-san, do you mind leading us both to somewhere where we can fight?"

"Please follow me to the dojo," Akane smiled.

* * *

To be continued….


	7. Part 7

Snake in the Horse's Shadow

By Lord Raa

* * *

Disclaim-me-do: Toys just aren't as tasty since they stopped using lead paint.

* * *

Part 7

* * *

Kasumi knew that family was of paramount importance, but couldn't help feel that it would be nice to see her brother-in-law have his attitude readjusted slightly. It wasn't that Ryoga was a rude or otherwise obnoxious person – he'd always been polite and apologised for any problems he'd caused. It was just that he wasn't very good at dealing with his problems in a mature fashion.

Akane had explained that it was because of his poor sense of direction, he'd never had anyone help him learn such skills.

She followed the others to the dojo, wondering what sort of fighting style Ranma would use against Ryoga. She knew her brother-in-law's style often used brute force and his endurance to great effect.

Kasumi's mind idly thought back to how energetic Akane's wedding night must have been. After a moment's blushing, she took her seat next to her father and Genma.

"Right then," Ranma said as he gently stretched. "How serious are we going to be for this fight?"

"What do you mean, Ranma-san?" Akane asked as she took her husband's sweater off him.

"I was brought up to fight to win," the pigtailed man answered, nodding to his father. "If we go all out, it could get messy."

"Perhaps it would be best if we limited it to some light sparring," Soun said, hoping to avoid too much damage to his property and son-in-law.

"You weren't that good a fighter back then, Ranma; Just fast hands and dirty tricks," Ryoga taunted.

"Yep, and now I'm even faster and have more dirty tricks," Ranma smiled. "On the signal from the ref, err…. you. If you don't mind starting us off."

Kasumi blinked but stood up and raised her right arm. "Begin!"

The two combatants circled each other slowly. Ranma was intrigued to know what sort of tricks that Ryoga could have learned over the years. 'I remember him being a bit stupid.'

Ryoga's rage overcame his instincts and he charged his hated opponent, intent on gaining his vengeance on the brash boy who had humiliated him all those years ago.

The younger Saotome calmly redirected the charging man and flipped him onto his back.

"Oof," Ryoga gasped, not expecting Ranma to move that fast.

"Is that it?" Ranma said, shaking his head before turning to Kasumi. "Are we done here, Ref?"

"I…." the brunette was interrupted by Ryoga slowly climbing to his feet.

"We're not done yet," the fanged man said as he fell into a fighting stance. "I can't believe I'm going to say this, but I fight on!"

Ryoga launched a blizzard of punches at Ranma, all of which were dodged or blocked by the pigtailed man.

"Yawn," Ranma mocked before jumping over the enraged man's head and hitting several pressure points on his back and neck. "I'm bored with this, what's for dinner?"

"W-wait…."

"Fine," Ranma rolled his eyes as he knocked Ryoga to the ground with simple leg sweep. "Are you happy now?"

"Wow, you're really good," Kasumi gushed. She hadn't seen anyone beat Ryoga so easily for some time.

Akane rushed to her husband's aid. "Are you alright, Ryoga-kun?"

"Yeah, well, when people are trying to kill you, you either get good or get dead. He'll be fine in a few minutes, so don't worry."

Soun turned to Genma. "With Ranma-kun being so good, it must have taken some effort to get him to stop showboating, Saotome-kun."

"It only took a few broken bones, Tendo-kun," Genma smiled. "As for Ranma's skills, when you have the combination of brilliant student and skilled sensei, learning techniques is a joy for both of us."

Ranma's jaw clicked shut when he heard his father's boasting, but allowed him to have his moment. Instead he turned to look at the upset, but slowly recovering Ryoga Hibiki on the floor. "You alright over there?"

The fanged man glared at him with all his might.

"Don't look at me like that. You wanted a fight, we had one. I won," the pigtailed man explained. "You look like the determined type, so I'll say this, but only the once: if you attack me, there's a chance that you'll get seriously hurt. There's an even better chance that you'll die."

Ranma held out a hand to Ryoga. "Is the matter settled?"

The fight hadn't gone the way Ryoga had planned, but he couldn't fault Ranma's behaviour. There hadn't been any shenanigans with hidden weapons or traps or attempts to drug him. He closed his eyes and sighed. "I guess so."

He took Ranma's hand and was lifted to his feet. "So where did you disappear to? I spent two years looking for you."

"Don't ask."

"Why not?"

"Because we can't talk about it," Genma said, rising to his own feet. "We promised."

"Ok," Ryoga conceded. "So, how about dinner?"

"Sounds good to me," Ranma smiled as he followed his father and Mr. Tendo back to the house.

* * *

At the SGC, General Hammond was briefing SG-1. He poured himself a cup of coffee and took a sip before smiling at his assembled team.

"I've taken steps to see if we can locate Ranma and his father in Japan. General Ellis of Yakota Air Base has local contacts who should be able to find him," the bald man said. "No, they won't be spied upon. I've ordered that they be left alone. This is just for our peace of mind, we may need to contact them."

"That's good to hear, Sir," Carter smiled.

"Indeed," Teal'c agreed. "I do not wish to have the Ha're Kek as an enemy."

"Now, as for your next mission," Hammond said, opening the file in front of him. "SG-3 have located an inhabited planet the locals call 'Nasya'. They're willing to discuss an alliance with us."

"I like the sound of that," O'Neill smiled. "It's always nice to have friends."

"It is indeed," the General said. "It would be nice to negotiate a treaty with them, so please behave yourselves."

"That'll be easy now that we don't have Ranma to rile up the local ladies, Sir," O'Neill smirked. His expression turned serious for a moment. "Actually, not that I think about it, it would be best if we didn't mention him at all."

"What if they ask about him?" Daniel asked. "I mean, it's pretty clear that he's not just some phantom told to scare Jaffa. And we're not exactly the norm for people who walk through the Stargate. Eventually someone'll put two and two together and start asking questions."

There was a silence for a few moments. It was Teal'c that broke it.

"It is true that we have heard of the Ha're Kek. Perhaps we should only say that."

"Need to know," Jack O'Neill smiled. "You're getting the hang of this covert ops business, Teal'c. When do we ship out, General?"

"Tomorrow morning at 0830 hours. Dismissed," the Texan said rising from his seat.

* * *

Dinner had been a pleasant event for all present. Ryoga had kept reasonably quiet, having been humbled by Ranma's fighting prowess.

Soun and Genma had been discussing their old training days, interspersed with a few anecdotes from Ranma's training.

Akane's attention had been divided between the fathers, her husband and Ranma. There was something about the pigtailed man that seemed interesting. Oh, sure, her husband had been well-travelled – his poor sense of direction had mean that he'd seen a great deal more of the world than his peers, but Ranma seemed different. And she couldn't quite put her finger on why.

Kasumi was glad that her father seemed happy for the first time in several years. Not since Akane's wedding had he smiled so much. She cast a glance towards Ranma and noticed that he too was smiling.

'He's got a nice smile,' the brunette noted. She looked away and blushed lightly when Ranma turned to face her.

'What's with her?' the pigtailed man asked himself. Experience had taught Ranma that some questions were best left unvoiced. He rubbed his shoulder reflexively at the memory of the time he'd asked what he considered to be an innocent question.

"Is something the matter, Ranma-san?" Akane asked.

"What?"

"You're rubbing your shoulder."

"What? Oh, no, I'm fine. I was just thinking about something that had happened years ago," Ranma replied with a slightly nervous smile.

As Ryoga watched the exchange between his wife and Ranma, a feeling of jealousy flared up. "So, why can't you talk about what you did, Ranma? Surely it can't be that secret."

"You really want to know what I did for ten years?" Ranma asked, fixing his former schoolmate with a steely glare. "Ok. I found myself further away from Japan than you can imagine. I was in a strange land, where I couldn't understand the writing or what people were trying to say to me. The only person I could speak to was my father.

"Soon after we arrived, we found some people being worked to death as slaves in a mine. We tried to help them, but we were captured ourselves because they had powerful weapons. It's easy to quell rebellions when you can blow people to pieces. Took us three months to escape that hell-hole."

The room fell silent and pigtailed man took a few more bites of his food before continuing. "I had to kill people with my bare hands. Silently choke the life out of some of them so we could escape. So yeah, you can understand why we don't want to talk about it."

"Oh," the Tendos and Ryoga replied in unison.

"So if you've finished interrogating me about the horrible things I've done to survive and protect people, do you mind if I take a bath?" Ranma asked, calmly placing his chopsticks on the table.

"Please, it would be rude of us to deny you such a basic request," Soun said as he recovered his wits. "Kasumi, would you please show Ranma-kun to the bathroom?"

"Certainly, Father," the brunette smiled. "This way, please Ranma-kun."

* * *

Colonel Jack O'Neill surveyed the Nasyan landscape. He felt somewhat pleased that this mission hadn't thrown up any complications.

"Yet," he added under his breath. He smiled at some locals who walked past him.

The women in the group looked at him, conferred and giggled to each other about some private joke.

'They're too young for you anyway, Jack,' the Colonel told himself. Looking up he noticed something glinting in the sunlight.

Pulling out his binoculars, he scanned the bright blue sky for any hint as to what that could be reflecting the sunlight. "Just a bit closer…. There's another one. Oh crap!"

Jack switched on his radio. "We've got company! Death gliders are approaching from the west!"

"¬Copy that, Sir,¬" Carter answered. "¬I count three from my position.¬"

"Get everyone you can to safety, I'll get Daniel," O'Neill barked into his radio.

"¬No need, Jack, I can see you,¬" Daniel said waving at the Colonel. "¬I think we can use the Stargate to save these people.¬"

"Agreed, get everyone you can to the 'Gate and dial home. Teal'c, you got any ideas how to hold them off?"

"¬It will be extremely difficult without heavy weapons,¬" the Jaffa answered into his radio as he ran towards Jack.

Another six death gliders flew over head, barely three metres above the roofs of the buildings.

Teal'c finally reached the Colonel. "O'Neill, look!"

A Goa'uld Ha'tak ship descended into view from orbit, its landing struts extended.

"Crap."

"I have not faced this situation before. I do not see how victory is possible without the Ha're Kek," the Jaffa said as he readied his staff weapon.

"Yeah," Jack sighed. "But they're not available right now."

More death gliders swarmed out and began strafing the Nasyan buildings.

"Yeah, definitely could do with Ranma's help on this one."

* * *

Ranma, however, was enjoying a soak in the Tendo's bathtub. There was a knock at the door.

"The bath is occupied and anyone who tries to peep on me will get a poke in the eye," the martial artist warned, not bothering to open his eyes.

"You don't have anything I haven't seen before, Ranma," a male voice teased.

"Come on in, Dad, there's room for you."

Genma walked into the bathroom and undressed. "Thank you for your generosity."

Ranma moved to the edge of the tub as his father quickly shed his clothes. "So, what is your plan?"

"Stay here until we get acclimatised, then reassess where we stand with everything," the balding man said as he started to scrub down. He rinsed off and stepped into the hot water.

"Sounds good to me. What about Mr. Tendo and his daughters? You know, that sacred pledge thingy he was harping on about."

"You seem to get getting on well with Akane, but she's already married," Genma sighed. "I think that you two could have made a good couple."

"Maybe," Ranma shrugged. "But like you said, she's already married."

"It does leave Kasumi. She's the one who cooked dinner, remember."

"True, it was nice. And she is pretty. But do you really think that we'd be happy together?" the pigtailed man asked. "I mean, I can't really talk about what we've been through, and what's the most exciting thing she's done lately?"

"Ranma, you should be careful about judging people. She might have hidden depths."

Ranma looked unconvinced, but said nothing.

* * *

The following morning, Ranma awoke early. It took him a moment to realise where he was. He shook his head at his father's snoring and decided that now would be a good time to get up.

Licking his lips, the pigtailed man decided that a drink of water was needed. Pulling on a pair of black trousers, he made his way to the kitchen.

Upon his arrival, he was surprised to see Kasumi standing there looking exhausted.

"Is everything OK?" he asked.

"I…. Yes," Kasumi said with a forced smile. "I'm fine, thank you for asking, Ranma-kun."

"You don't look fine. Do you need me to take you to a doctor?"

"No…. I'll be fine once I have my medicine," the brunette said as she reached into the front pouch on her apron. She swallowed an off-white pill and smiled. "See, all better."

"Medicine takes longer than that to work, Kasumi," Ranma said, his arms folded across his chest. "What's wrong?"

"I…." Kasumi sighed tiredly. She was tempted to tell Ranma about her sickness, but felt it wouldn't be right. He was a guest and shouldn't have to worry about her. "It's really nothing, Ranma-kun. Don't worry too much, I'll be fine."

Ranma set his jaw. "I'm not going away until you tell me what's wrong."

"….Fine," Kasumi said after a few moments. "I'm tired, Ranma-kun. It's my body; it's working against me and making me sick."

"I don't understand," Ranma said. "How can your body work against you?"

"It's called an Auto-Immune Disease," Kasumi explained. "My body thinks I'm sick even though I'm not and tries to 'heal' me by attacking healthy organs, which is making me sick."

"Oh…." Ranma didn't know what to say to that. After some awkward silence he asked, "D-does your father know?"

"No."

Not knowing what else to do, Ranma stepped up to Kasumi and put his arms around her in a comforting embrace. "I'm…. I'm sorry I can't do anything else for you, Kasumi."

"Thank you, Ranma-kun," Kasumi sniffed. "C-could you keep this a secret from my father?"

"I will."

* * *

Back at the SGC, SG-1 were reporting back to General Hammond.

"We didn't see the mothership until after the death gliders started to attack," Carter said. "We barely had time to dial back home."

"The Goa'uld just attacked without warning," Daniel added. "We've never seen that before. I can't think of any reason why they would attack the Nasyans. They'd been left alone for nearly three centuries."

"It's not normal for the Goa'ulds to suddenly just show up and wipe out peaceful people for no apparent reason, is it?" Hammond asked.

Daniel shook his head. "In the past there was usually some reason, most often they seem to attack civilisations that are advancing to a point where their technology could be a threat, but that wasn't the case here."

"Maybe they found out we were there?" Jack suggested.

"I don't know how they could know. Even if they did know, why did this particular Goa'uld care?" the archaeologist asked.

"I have seen the Goa'uld wipe out entire civilizations—no reason, simply because it gave them pleasure," Teal'c added.

"So what, Nasya was just next on the list? Part of me wishes it was that simple, but I don't want to underestimate them," Daniel said, rubbing the back of his head.

"Maybe their reasons just weren't made apparent to you, Teal'c. I mean, you are just a Jaffa," Carter said in an unexpectedly cold tone. She noticed that her words had attracted more attention than she'd realised. "All…all I meant was that Apophis wouldn't necessarily have explained everything to Teal'c even if he was First Prime. Would he?"

"That has been the case on numerous occasions," the Jaffa confirmed.

"I agree with Sam. We've been looking at Goa'uld society as if they were a group of power-hungry warlords," Daniel nodded. "Clearly they're more complex than that. We should find out why the Nasyans were attacked like that."

"Agreed," General Hammond said before casting a glance around the members of SG-1. "However, our priority is to relocate the surviving Nasyans. I've assigned three more SG teams to coordinate with you. Dismissed."

* * *

Dr. Frasier looked over her notes and frowned. "Sam still hasn't had her post mission check up."

She picked up her phone and dialled the Captain's office.

"Sam, it's Janet here. You still need to have your examination."

"¬Yes, sorry, I've been a little distracted. I'll be there in about five minutes,¬" the blonde answered.

* * *

"Have you had a sore throat lately? There's this abrasion on the back of your throat."

"Yeah, a little."

Janet noticed that the blonde seemed distant, as if she was thinking about something far weightier than her own health.

"Is something wrong, Sam?" she asked.

"I was just thinking about Ranma," the Captain replied. "I think I might need to speak with him."

"Oh? I thought you didn't like him. Or is it about that naquadah reactor he gave you?"

"No, it's about something else," Sam answered. She leaned back and rubbed her eyes. "It's hard to explain, but I need to talk with him about something important."

"Aren't you scheduled for a mission tomorrow?" Janet asked. "That's going to delay talking to Ranma."

"Yeah…. still, I'm sure that I'll be able to talk with Ranma before too long."

* * *

Jack O'Neill was not surprised to be called into General Hammond's office. What was a surprise was the fact that Dr. Frasier was there.

"Is something wrong, Doc?"

"It's about Captain Carter, Colonel," the Texan said. "Doctor Frasier, if you'll brief the Colonel."

"Yes Sir. During Sam's routine post mission examination, I noticed that there was an abrasion at the back of her throat. That in itself isn't a concern, but she did seem rather absent and when I tested the blood I drew, I noticed something strange in her blood chemistry."

"Oh? Is she sick or something?" Jack asked. "Is travelling through the gate affecting her health?"

"No, but the changes in her blood chemistry are similar to the ones we saw in Major Kowalski, Colonel."

"So, when are you giving her an MRI or x-ray or something to check she doesn't have a snake in her head?"

"I haven't yet, she's off-base," the Doctor answered. "I had no reason to detain her. I tried to call her in, but she's not answering her phone."

"General, I recommend that we lockdown the Stargate until further notice," Jack said. "With your permission, I'll go to Carter's house to check up on her."

"Agreed, Colonel," Hammond nodded. He picked up his phone and ordered the lockdown on the Stargate.

* * *

At her home, Samantha Carter was using her computer to search trawl the internet to search for references to Ranma Saotome in an attempt to track him down.

After five minutes of fruitless searching, she shook her head. "Of course I'm not going to be able to find any record of him – he's been off-world for ten years!"

She let out a sigh and leaned back to look up at the ceiling. There was a knock at the door. Shrugging, she made her way to the front door and saw that it was Colonel O'Neill standing there.

"Is there something wrong, Sir?"

"Possibly, we need you to come back to the base," Jack said.

"Now?" the blonde asked.

"It's an order, Captain."

* * *

To be continued….


	8. Part 8

Snake in the Horse's Shadow

By Lord Raa

* * *

Disclaim-me-do: I love it when common materials are dangerous.

* * *

Part 8

* * *

The entity in control of Captain Samantha Carter grit her teeth as she was confronted by the proof that she was hosting a Goa'uld symbiote. She gripped the bars of her cell. "I need to get off this world."

"Really, and are we just supposed to let that happen?" Colonel O'Neill asked sarcastically. "Do you really think that we're stupid enough to let you leave with one of my team?"

The blonde turned on her heel in frustration. "I'm telling you that I need to get off this world. I promise that I'll do everything to give you back your precious Captain Carter."

"Yes, and the Goa'uld have really earned that level of trust," O'Neill smirked. "It's not going to happen, so stop trying to convince us to let you go through the Stargate. You're not going off-world."

"Fine, then let me speak with the Ha're Kek. I know that they're here."

"What makes you think that Ranma wants to speak with you?"

"We've met before and I need his help. If you do not bring him here, you are signing the death warrants for countless people."

* * *

General Hammond was not sure what to make of the Goa'uld's request. Colonel O'Neill was absolutely correct to refuse the demand to leave Earth. Captain Carter's knowledge of the planet's defences and strategies would be invaluable to the System Lords.

But an audience with Ranma was a much more reasonable proposition. Assuming that he'd be willing to entertain the idea, that was.

"What do you think is our best option?" he asked the members of SG-1.

"I suppose we could contact Ranma in Japan," Jack answered. "See if he's willing to talk to the snake in Carter's head."

"What if it's a trap?" Daniel asked. "What if it's a ploy to get Ranma's body for a host?"

"There are indeed many Goa'uld that would give a great deal to possess a host with the physical capabilities of Ranma Saotome," Teal'c said.

"That's not something we can allow," Jack quickly added. "How long can the Goa'uld survive outside of a host, Teal'c?"

"It would depend on the health of the symbiote, but it would survive a short while. Long enough for it to cross a room and try to enter another host," the Jaffa answered. "As long as he kept his distance, I do not think that Ranma Saotome would have a problem preventing it from entering his body."

"Again, assuming we can convince him to come back here," Hammond sighed. "Alright, Colonel O'Neill, you talk to the Goa'uld and get it to give Ranma a reason for coming over here. I'll see if I can get a contact number for him from General Ellis. Teal'c, you're to help guard the prisoner."

The Jaffa nodded.

* * *

"So then, whatever your name is," Jack said, leaning against the door frame, "We've agreed to speak with Ranma, but I don't see why he wouldn't just hang up on us. What happened between the pair of you and why would Ranma agree to help you?"

"Your interrogation technique is lacking," Jolinar said dismissively. "But you should tell the Ha're Kek that Jolinar needs his help."

"OK, but I don't think that's enough to get Ranma to come from the other side of the world," the Colonel shrugged.

* * *

Ranma had just finished helping Kasumi clear the dinner table when the phone started to ring.

"I'll get it," Kasumi smiled. "Good evening, how can I help you?"

"¬I…. Ranma Saotome please,¬" an American voice replied.

The brunette shrugged, but called to the kitchen. "Ranma-san, it's for you."

The pigtailed martial artist blinked in surprise. "I didn't think anyone knew I was here. Hello?"

"¬Ah, Ranma, it's Colonel O'Neill here. We need your help.¬"

"Again?" Ranma asked in English. "What's up now? You need me to find some naquadah for you? Or perhaps there's another alien invasion you need me to stop?"

"¬You know where we can get some naquadah? No, it's not that. Apparently you know someone called Jolinar. He, she, it needs your help.¬"

"Jolinar?" the martial artist repeated. "Oh yeah, I helped rescue her from Netu when I broke my dad out of Sokar's prison. What's up with her now?"

"¬She seems to think that she's in danger and she's requested your help,¬" Jack answered. "¬Are you willing to come over here to speak with her?¬"

"Yeah, I guess," Ranma sighed loudly. He called out to his father. "Dad, I need to borrow the car."

Genma walked up to his son. "What's up, Son?"

"Those SG-1 jerks need me again. Apparently Jolinar's in trouble. I'll be back before you know it."

"Jolinar? I don't know," the balding man teased. "Try not to seduce too many women on your trip, Ranma."

"I make no promises, Dad," Ranma said, sticking his tongue out. "OK, O'Neill, put the kettle on, I'll be there in five."

After hanging up the phone, Ranma stuck his head into the kitchen. "Kasumi, I need to run an errand."

"At this time of night? Do you know when you'll be back?" the brunette asked.

"Unfortunately not, so don't wait up," the martial artist said before leaving for the dojo.

Kasumi nodded for a moment before she realised that Ranma wasn't heading for the front door. She followed him to the dojo and caught the briefest of glimpses at the flash of light through the door.

Rushing, the homemaker forced the door open, only to find the dojo was empty.

"Where did Ranma-san go?"

* * *

Five minutes later, Airman Cervantes was walking past the briefing room and noticed that Ranma was standing there.

"What the heck? Ranma?" he asked. "When did you come back?"

"Just got here," the martial artist answered. "Colonel O'Neill asked me to come over. Do you know where he is?"

"Not right now, but if you'll let me check. Please stay here while I call it in."

Two minutes later, Jack O'Neill walked into the room.

"Glad you could join us," Ranma smirked. "So, what's so important that you dragged me here from Tokyo?"

"We've got Jolinar in one of our holding cells," O'Neill answered.

"I hope she's not expecting me to break her out of your jail. Sokar's one thing, but you guys aren't so bad. So why are you keeping her behind bars?"

"Jolinar is in Captain Carter's head and I need to get it out of there."

Ranma scratched his head. "And how am I supposed to help with that?"

"I don't know," the Colonel conceded. "But she wanted to speak with you in person."

"Fine, lead the way then."

* * *

Jolinar looked up when she heard the door open. In walked Ranma, Teal'c and Jack.

"So," the pigtailed man drawled, "What's so important that you insisted that I drop everything and rush over here?"

"I am in need of your help, Ranma," Jolinar answered.

"Well, yeah, I can see that. But I'm not busting you out of this prison."

"On the planet where I took Carter's body as host, there was an Ashrak looking for me."

"Teal'c, what's an 'Ashrak'?" Jack asked.

"It means 'hunter', one that will go to great lengths to ensure the termination of its target," the Jaffa answered. "If there is an Ashrak here, then we have to increase security."

"I'll make the call," the Colonel said, picking up the phone and dialling General Hammond.

"So you've led an assassin here?" Ranma asked, turning to the blonde woman. "Why do I let you guys bring this kind of trouble onto me? Fine, what's he look like?"

"I do not know, but perhaps you could stay and protect me?" asked Jolinar. She fluttered her eyelids at Ranma. "Please, I am desperate."

"Let me speak with Carter."

"Colonel, Teal'c, this Ashrak…. can you protect us?" the Captain asked.

"I do not know," Teal'c replied. "The Ashrak are feared with good reason. But I would feel more confident with the help of the Ha're Kek."

"Fine," Ranma sighed. "I'll stay and help you out; but only until this Ass-ram guy's dead. After that, I'm going back home."

"Are you sure that the Tok'Ra cannot convince you to join us?" Jolinar asked. "There are benefits to joining our ranks."

"Yeah, like not being in complete control of my body," Ranma mocked. "I've spent my life learning how to control my body. I'm not about to let some alien take that control away from me."

"I see. Well, I thought it was worth trying," the Tok'Ra shrugged.

"So, assuming that we stop this assassin, what then?" O'Neill asked. "Is there any chance of getting you out of Carter's body?"

"Some, but it is very risky to both of us. I will not know if this host will survive until I attempt the procedure."

"Well, if you do decide to stay in Carter's body, I think this host is cuter than the last one you had, Jolinar," Ranma shrugged. "It might get you further when trying to negotiate with people."

"Really?" Jolinar asked. "You really like this host body more than the last one? So what are my chances of getting you into bed in this body?"

"Hey," O'Neill barked. "I can't let you do that to Carter's body!"

"He does have a point," the martial artist conceded. "And it gives everyone here a good reason why I'm not going to let you put an alien in my head."

* * *

Inside the Tendo Dojo, Kasumi was looking for any trace of Ranma. She had watched him enter, but the way he had just vanished was something that unsettled her greatly.

After five minutes of searching, she decided to go back into the house to have a word with Genma Saotome.

"Excuse me, Mr. Saotome," she said politely, "but I can't seem to find Ranma-san. I don't suppose that he told you where he was going?"

"He said that he was going to run a few errands and that he didn't know when he was coming back," the portly man answered.

"That's what he told me, but I saw him go into the dojo and I can't find any trace of him."

"Ah, well, you shouldn't worry about that. Ranma will be fine."

"But how can he just disappear like that?" Kasumi asked.

"He hasn't disappeared," Genma smiled. "This is one of those 'it's best not to ask' things."

"I don't understand…."

"It's somewhat related to what happened on our travels, Kasumi. I'm not sure that Ranma can tell us about it."

"But how did he vanish like that?" the brunette demanded.

The balding man smirked. "Let me show you something."

In the blink of an eye Genma Saotome had faded from view and unsettled Kasumi.

"M-mister Saotome?"

"I'm here," Genma said, reappearing in his seat as if nothing was wrong.

Now Kasumi was truly confused. "But how did you?"

"Some things are best left unknown, Kasumi."

* * *

"So, how do you know Jolinar, Ranma?" asked O'Neill as he stood outside the room where Carter was being held.

"I saved her from Sokar when I rescued my dad."

"She seems…."

"Yeah," Ranma chuckled, "I know what you mean. Seems to happen a lot to me. Still, it's better than them trying to skin you alive. What are you going to do about Carter?"

"We've got to get Jolinar out of Carter's head," the Colonel said. "After that, I don't know. What can you tell me about the Tok'Ra?"

"They're like Goa'uld, only not evil," the martial artist answered. "They're jerks like the Tollan, but still better than the Goa'uld."

Jack nodded. "So, would they honour a peace treaty or what?"

"They would, but they won't come rushing to your aide if the Goa'uld decided to attack you when you're on mission," Ranma sighed. "How long are we going to have to wait for that Ass-ram guy?"

"I don't kn-" the Colonel was cut off by the doors bursting open and a hooded figure purposefully striding towards them. "I think-"

Ranma didn't wait for Jack to finish his comment and launched a vacuum blade at the man's leg, severing it at the knee and stopping him in his tracks. "Are you the Ashrak?"

"I will fight on!" he said as he pulled out a zat'nik'tel and aimed it at Ranma. Before he could fire, his body convulsed as five 9mm rounds entered it. The Ashrak's head hit the floor with a dull thud.

Colonel O'Neill stood still, his sidearm trained on the hunter. "Are you OK, Ranma?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. This guy though, he's looking a little leaky," the pigtailed man said as he approached the body and rolled it over. He checked for a pulse and found none. "I guess I'm done here. See, you don't always need my help. Catch you later."

"Don't you want to say goodbye to Jolinar?"

"Fine," Ranma sighed. He opened the door and waved at the blonde behind the bars. "We've just killed the Ashrak, so I'm off. Have a nice life."

"But…" Jolinar trailed off.

"What? I'm not letting you put one of your snakes in my head. And Colonel O'Neill won't let you stay in that body. You'll just have to work something out on your own. I'm going home," the martial artist said as he headed outside.

* * *

Ranma emerged from the dojo and walked into the house. He noticed that his father was watching a sports bulletin on the evening news.

When it finished, he announced his return.

"That didn't take long," Genma noted.

"Yeah, just needed to save Jo…." Ranma trailed off when he noticed that Soun was also in the room. "It's alright, but I'm tired. I'm going to bed now. See you in the morning."

Soun turned to his friend. "What sort of errand was Ranma-kun undertaking, Saotome-kun?"

"It's a long story, Tendo-kun. But Ranma's right, it's getting late," the balding man said as he rose to his feet. "I'll see you in the morning."

"Yes, of course," the moustachioed man nodded, not entirely sure what was going on.

* * *

Kasumi lay awake on her bed, troubled by where Ranma had gone. She turned to the door when she heard someone walking across the landing.

"Oh, you're calling it a night too, Dad?"

"Yeah, Tendo's got one of those 'what's all this about then' looks on his face."

The brunette frowned. 'Just what is it that Ranma-san was doing? And why doesn't he or Mr. Saotome want anyone to know about it?'

The voices disappeared into the bathroom and Kasumi opened her door a fraction to listen in better to the Saotomes, hoping to glean something from their conversation as to Ranma's errand.

Three minutes later, they emerged from the bathroom.

"Oh, Kasumi asked about you," Genma said.

"Oh? What did she ask?"

"Just the usual: where did you go, what were you doing. That sort of thing."

"Did you tell her anything?" Ranma asked.

"No, but if she's asking those sorts of questions, she might be interested in you, you know in _that_ way."

"Anything's possible, Dad," Ranma said as he held the door open for his father. "Anything's possible."

Kasumi gently closed her door and pondered what she'd observed. 'Mr. Saotome knows where Ranma-san went, but didn't tell me. There's something suspicious about this….'

* * *

At the SGC, General Hammond was reviewing the casualty report from the Ashrak incident.

"Five dead, two dozen injured," he sighed. He looked up at Colonel O'Neill. "And you say that Ranma just walked out of here?"

"He did, Sir. He didn't seem terribly impressed with Jolinar, to be honest."

"Oh? Why not?"

"I think it's to do with the fact that doesn't want a snake in his head. That and she was acting…. well, a cat in heat wouldn't be a bad analogy, Sir," O'Neill explained.

"Ranma Saotome seems to be quite the…. gamesman," Teal'c said.

"Yes, he does have a way with the ladies, doesn't he?" O'Neill said. "And it's playboy, Teal'c."

"What about Jolinar?" the General asked, trying to keep the conversation clean.

"It's…. not going well, Sir. Our options seem to be leaving her in Captain Carter, killing them both or finding Jolinar a new host. But I don't know anyone willing to give up their body just yet."

"We are not going to abandon Captain Carter," the Texan stated flatly.

"Agreed, Sir."

* * *

After breakfast, Kasumi was standing near Ranma as he meditated in the dojo.

"Is there something wrong, Kasumi?" he asked.

"I…. I wanted to…."

"Wanted to what?" Ranma asked, finally opening his eyes and looking at the brunette.

"It's about last night," Kasumi murmured.

"Oh, that. Nothing to worry about, I shouldn't have to run off like that again anytime soon. Now, if you'll excuse me, I want to get back to meditating," the pigtailed man said as he closed his eyes.

Kasumi felt her left eye twitch in frustration as she found herself casually brushed aside. It was something that she wasn't used to. "I meant where did you go?"

"Out."

"Out where?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you," Ranma said, his eyes still closed.

"Try me," Kasumi said firmly.

"Colorado."

"Where?"

"Colorado, in the United States of America," Ranma sighed. He opened his eyes again. "See, I told you that you wouldn't believe me."

"It takes 10 hours to fly from Tokyo to America," the brunette insisted. "Just what kind of fool do you take me for?"

"Fine, I didn't go to America. Believe what you want," the martial artist said, rising to his feet. "I'm going for a walk. I intend to be back later. I don't know where I'm going to end up or if I'm going to go shopping. Will that be all, or do you want to give me some advance idea of what questions you're going to ask when I return?"

Kasumi was so taken aback by Ranma's tone that she missed the way he casually jumped over the wall and off into Nerima.

"How rude!"

"Yeah, Ranma can be like that," Genma Saotome said from the doorway to the dojo.

"But…." Kasumi said as she turned to face the portly man.

"He doesn't like being interrogated, Kasumi. And neither do I. But I will say this: he was asked to help out a friend."

"A friend?"

"Yes, a friend. From what I gather, it's become a complicated situation," Genma said with serious tone. "Ranma values his friends, and if you want to be one, you should allow him his space."

"But…" Kasumi let out a sigh. "Alright, I'll apologise to Ranma-san when he returns."

* * *

Ranma returned a few hours later. "I'm back!" he called as he strolled into the living room as if he owned the place.

"Ranma, can you come to the kitchen with me for a minute?" Kasumi asked. She was biting her lip and had trouble looking him in the eye. "I want to talk to you."

"What did you want?" Ranma asked rather rudely once Kasumi had shut the door.

"I just wanted to apologise for my earlier behaviour. Where you go and what you do isn't any of my business. I was just…." she trailed off as she struggled to come up with the right words.

"You were just bored and lonely because you're a 29 year-old housewife without a husband and nothing to do all day, so you thought you'd meddle a bit in my life."

Kasumi gasped, her eyes widening as a lovely red blush spread across her face and neck. "That's... that's ... How dare you say something like that?!"

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Ranma shook his head. "You're right. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that."

Kasumi fought to regain her composure. "All right, apology accepted," she managed to say in an even tone, yet her eyes were still flashing with barely suppressed anger. "I had intended to cook you dinner as a way of apologising for the way I acted earlier, but I'm suddenly not feeling very well. I think I'll go lie down for a bit. Food's in the fridge if you're hungry."

She turned and stormed out of the room before Ranma could say anything.

"What's her problem?" Ranma asked the empty room. "It's not my fault her life's so boring."

The martial artist rubbed his face and sighed. "I suppose I could do something nice for her."

* * *

Kasumi lay on her bed, tears threatening to leak out of her eyes as she chanted, "Ranma you idiot!" over and over again.

There was a knock on the door.

"Go away, I'm not feeling very well."

"Kasumi, it's me, Ranma. I wanted to apologise for being such a jerk earlier."

"Like I said, go away."

"Look, Kasumi," Ranma sighed, "I know you want to know more about me, but I can't tell you – I made a promise. What kind of man would I be if I didn't keep my promises?"

Kasumi remained silent as she considered those words. 'He's got a point, but still….'

"What do you want me to do, Kasumi?"

"I don't know…. How you disappeared last night," the brunette replied.

"That's one of the things I can't tell you."

"Then what about your dad disappearing?"

"Oh, that? That's easy," Ranma smiled. "If you'll open the door, I'll show what we did."

Kasumi opened the door and saw Ranma standing there with his hands on his hips.

"I hope you're paying attention, Kasumi," the martial artist said moments before he faded from view.

"Ranma-san?"

"Right here, Kasumi," he smiled as he became visible again. "It's a technique that lets you sneak around. It's saved my life more times than I can remember."

"But how does it work?" the homemaker asked. "Can anyone do it?"

"I don't know the specifics, just how to make it happen. And no, I only know two people who can do this me and my dad."

"I see."

* * *

To be continued….


	9. Part 9

Snake in the Horse's Shadow

By Lord Raa

* * *

Disclaim-me-do: Should have sprung for the heated codpiece.

* * *

Part 9

* * *

"So, does that clear everything up, Kasumi?"

"Well, not really," the brunette answered. "Yes, you can disappear like a ninja, but that hardly explains why you'd lie to me about going to America."

Ranma sighed. "Believe what you want, Kasumi. I don't care what you think about me."

With that, the pigtailed man left to see what his father was up to.

"Why can't I have a normal conversation with Ranma-kun?" Kasumi asked herself. "Just what is it about him that makes me…. so frustrated?"

* * *

"Hi, Dad, what's going on?" Ranma asked as he walked up to his father and friend.

"We're just enjoying the sunshine, Ranma. What's up?"

"It's…. well, it's silly."

"You can tell us, Ranma-kun," Soun smiled.

"OK, but you'll just think I'm being unreasonable," Ranma said as he sat down next to the older men. "Kasumi keeps asking me questions that I don't want to answer."

"I take it this is about last night?" Genma asked.

"Yeah," the pigtailed man nodded. "It's weird, it's kinda like dealing with Carter, but…. you know, more domestic."

"I'm not sure I follow, Ranma," Soun said with a confused look on his face.

"Well, Kasumi didn't know that it's possible to turn yourself invisible."

"It is?"

The two Saotomes looked at each other and smirked.

"Watch this, Tendo-kun," Genma said as he and his son faded from view.

"S-Saotome-kun?"

"Right here, Mr. Tendo," Ranma said as he fell back into view. "And that's nothing compared to what we've seen."

"I-I see…." the widower said, slowly stroking his moustache. "Well, how does this relate to Kasumi?"

"What does Kasumi do all day?"

"I…. she looks after the house, why?"

"I think that's the problem, Tendo-kun," Genma replied, pushing his glasses up his nose.

Ranma sighed. "Yeah, I mean, sure, it's nice to be able to sleep without someone trying to kill me in the night, but I'm starting to get bored."

"What do you want to do, Son?"

"I don't know," the pigtailed man sighed. "I'm kinda tempted to see if O'Neill wants my help."

"I thought you didn't like him," the portly man replied.

"He's not so bad. It's Carter and that doctor that annoy me. Carter's all 'you can't do that, it's impossible' and you know how I feel about female doctors," Ranma said, tone of bitterness creeping into his voice.

Genma smirked, but remained silent. Ranma's encounters with women trying to heal his wounds were a sore point. "You're not saying that you want them to get rid of Carter and that doctor before you'll go with them, are you?"

"No, it's…. it's weird. Maybe I should give them another chance?"

"It would be the gracious thing to do, Ranma-kun," Soun said. "But what will you do with them?"

"I guess the best way to describe it would be working as a consultant," Ranma answered. "You know what, I think they could do with my help on something now. I'll be back later."

* * *

Kasumi, having decided to get a drink saw Ranma walking out to the dojo again.

"Ranma-kun!" she called out.

"What? Oh, Kasumi. What do you want?" the pigtailed man asked.

"I…. what are you doing in the dojo?"

Ranma turned to the brunette. "Do you really want to know? It'll change everything."

"W-what do you mean, Ranma-kun?" Kasumi asked, wondering if she had gone too far.

"What I mean, Kasumi Tendo, is that you should be absolutely sure if you want to know some of what I know. Because it will change every aspect of your life and how you view the world you live in. Are you ready for that?"

"I…."

"If you don't know, then you're not ready. I'll catch you later, don't wait up," the martial artist waved. "Don't feel bad, Kasumi, I know that this is a sudden thing. When I get back, we can discuss it more and you can make an informed choice. I'd hate for you to think that I'm forcing you into something. I've had enough of that myself."

* * *

Jack O'Neill pointed at the man who just walked into the briefing room as if nothing was wrong.

"What are you doing here, Ranma?"

"Well," the pigtailed man drawled as he took a seat at the table, "I was thinking that I might have some sort of plan for you to get Carter back. You know, one that doesn't involve her being sent away to some random planet with someone you don't trust and no back up."

"We'd be happy to hear your plan, Ranma," General Hammond smiled.

"As you all know, I have access to a ship and I'm willing to take Jolinar to wherever she wants to go to get a new host. One of the conditions for helping Jolinar will be a transfer of Goa'uld knowledge to Captain Carter," Ranma said, placing his hands on the tabletop.

"And how are you going to convince Jolinar to do such a thing?" Daniel Jackson asked. "Jolinar has no reason to agree to that."

"Indeed, the Goa'uld are extremely reluctant to share knowledge," Teal'c added.

"Yeah, but do you know what the Tok'Ra do?" Ranma asked, drumming his fingertips on the black surface. "They're fighting against the Goa'uld using sabotage and other guerrilla tactics. Do you know anyone who's skilled at sabotage, espionage and other generally sneaky stuff?"

"Are you saying that you're offering your help to the Tok'Ra?" Hammond asked, leaning in.

"The help of the Ha're Kek is highly sought after, but if Jolinar refuses my conditions, then I won't help them. I won't side against them, but I won't rush to the phone if they come begging for help," the martial artist answered.

"I'm not sure she'll go for that deal," O'Neill said, scratching his left ear. "You're asking a lot of Jolinar."

"Maybe, but those are my terms. Looks like I learned about negotiating from you guys."

The Colonel looked thoughtful for a moment. "What's in it for you? I mean, you've complained about the raw deals you've gotten from us in the past, so why are you offering to help us now?"

"I'm not settling into the quiet life as well as I thought I would," Ranma answered. "I'd like a job. Not full time, but you know, occasionally going through the Stargate with you guys when you find something interesting."

"Define 'interesting'," Jack requested.

"I don't know, stuff like maybe finding who built the Stargate network."

The members of SG-1 looked at each other before turning to look at General Hammond.

The Texan considered things for a moment. "Jolinar would need to agree to the deal and you'd have to be on call in the event of an emergency."

"You mean in case you guys need saving again?" Ranma smirked infuriatingly. "I can live with that. Let's see what Jolinar has to say about this plan of mine."

* * *

Jolinar tried to play it cool with Ranma and SG-1, but it was difficult thanks to her affection for the pigtailed martial artist.

"But I don't need to leave right now, so why should I agree to this?"

"I thought you guys were supposed to listen to the host," Ranma countered. "Do you really think that Carter wants to remain like this? Besides, I said Goa'uld knowledge, not Tok'Ra knowledge. We don't need to know where your bases are or how many people you've got infiltrating Sokar's army."

"…." the blonde closed her eyes for a moment. "Fine, I agree to your terms."

"See, that wasn't so bad now, was it?" O'Neill smiled happily. "Let's get things started and we can have our Captain Carter back."

"Do you know where you want to go, Jolinar?" Ranma asked. "And do you want to go via the Gate or ship?"

"Ship," Jolinar replied. "Captain Carter has several questions about its technology."

"I'll answer them on the way home. O'Neill, I want you to come with us."

"Fine, I'll ride in your hotrod spaceship," the Colonel muttered good-naturedly. "The sacrifices I make for my country."

* * *

Ranma gestured to where Jack and Jolinar should sit down.

"I remember that this ship has quite the acceleration," the Tok'Ra commented as she looked at the Earth through the window.

"Yep, but you get used to it," Ranma said as he unlocked the controls. "Do you want to send anyone a message before we leave? I don't want us to be sitting around for ages while we wait for someone to find us."

"Very well, Ranma," Jolinar said as she signalled a nearby Tok'Ra base. "Ready when you are, Ranma."

"Good, brace yourself back there," the martial artist said to O'Neill. "We're activating the hyperdrive!"

* * *

As Ranma entered a planetary orbit, Jolinar was starting to become restless.

"Something up over there?" the pigtailed man asked, not turning his head.

"I…. I'm sorry, I'm just…." the blonde sighed as she struggled to find the right words. "The thought of you helping me again without repaying you for your help makes me feel ungrateful."

Ranma turned to look at the Tok'Ra. He cast a look at O'Neill before returning his attention to Jolinar. "It's fine, Jolinar, honestly. You don't need to reward me for this."

"But still…."

"No, it's fine, Jolinar. Also, don't you think that Captain Carter might have some say in how you try to reward me? You Tok'Ra say you care about the hosts when you're blended, but I think Carter might object."

Jolinar blushed. "H-how did you know I was thinking about that?"

"Most people reward me with women and food. I don't see any kitchens around here, do you?" Ranma asked with a knowing smirk.

"Oh…."

Colonel O'Neill scratched his head as he tried to get his head around the situation. While he knew that she wasn't herself, Carter had never acted like that before. It was most unsettling.

To Ranma's credit, he was rejecting every advance, citing that it wasn't what Carter wanted.

"I'm picking up Stargate activity on the planet below us, I'll set us down nearby," Ranma said, responding to the bleeping from the console. "I hope those are your friends coming through the 'gate, Jolinar."

"I hope so, too."

* * *

When the shuttle approached its planned landing zone, it became clear the gate travellers weren't the friendly Tok'Ra Jolinar had been expecting.

Several hundred Jaffa warriors pointed their staff weapons at Ranma's shuttle.

"Ah, slight change of plan, folks, we won't be landing here today," the pigtailed man said as he pulled a high-g manoeuvre to take their ship out of the atmosphere.

"What happened?" O'Neill demanded.

"I don't know," Jolinar insisted. "I only contacted my friends…."

"They don't look too friendly to me!" the Colonel sniped. "Ranma, I think you better take us home."

"Yeah, that seems like a good idea," Ranma nodded as he set in the course for Earth. "Guess you're with us for a bit longer, Jolinar."

The blonde looked apologetically at the two men, but when she turned away a thought occurred to her, bringing a small smile to her lips. 'I guess this means I've got a chance to convince Carter to keep me here….'

* * *

SG-1 sat around the briefing room table, discussing what to do about the situation with Jolinar and Captain Carter.

"Something went wrong," Jolinar said.

"Ya think so?" Jack snorted. "Look, I know you want to get out of Carter's head, but we don't have any options. We can't let you go."

"….. Very well, but I want Ranma to protect me," the blonde insisted. "There's a chance we can find another Tok'Ra cell."

"Wow, I guess that my father was right about working with you guys," Ranma said rolling his eyes. "But, since I'm a nice guy, I'll stay here on site."

"Thank you, Ranma," Jolinar smiled sweetly. "Oh, would it be possible for us to have a talk in private a little later?"

"What about?" the pigtailed man asked, his eyes narrowing in suspicion. "Are you planning one of those 'talks' where my shirt gets ripped off?"

"What? No! I'd never throw you on a table, tear off your shirt and start kissing you all over. Well, unless it's what you wanted…." the Tok'Ra blushed as she realised her mouth had run away from her. She coughed before adding, "I mean, it's about your adventures."

"If you say so," Ranma shrugged. "I'll need to talk to my father, let him know I won't be coming home for a few days."

* * *

Back in Tokyo, Genma replaced the telephone handset and turned to see his old friend standing behind him.

"Is something the matter, Saotome-kun?"

"Not at all, Tendo-kun," the balding man replied. "That was Ranma, he was telling me that he'll be away for a few more days and that we don't need to worry."

"I see," Soun nodded. He paused for a moment. "Err, Saotome-kun, I don't mean to rude or disparaging about your son, but is he going to be away often?"

Genma considered the situation. "I would say that, yes, it is likely that Ranma would be likely to have to leave at a moment's notice."

"But that doesn't seem fair to Kasumi…."

"Excuse me, but what doesn't seem fair to me, Father?" Kasumi asked, having overheard the conversation.

"I…. well, I mean if your husband is away often, it won't make for a happy marriage," Soun reasoned.

"Marriage to whom, Father?" the brunette asked.

"I think your father is referring to the pledge to unite the Schools of Anything Goes, Kasumi," Genma supplied helpfully.

"Ah, so you mean the plan for me to marry a secretive and ill-mannered man."

"If you don't want to marry my son, you don't have to, Kasumi."

"Saotome-kun, what are you saying?" Sound demanded. "This was our dream that kept us going through the dark days under the Master!"

"Tendo-kun, Ranma and I have experienced things that make our training under the Master look like a honeymoon," Genma said solemnly. "When was the last time you fought for your life, Tendo-kun? How about the last time you went more than a day without food or water, Kasumi?"

The Tendos considered the portly man's argument.

"It's not easy for Ranma," Genma said. "We've spent the last twenty years or more on the road. Sure, we've had periods when we've been in the same place, but nothing more than eight months or so. It's unfortunate, but his wanderlust and his urge to help people have made Ranma the man he is today.

"Yes, he's lacking in the social graces. Yes, he's not telling you everything. Do you really think that you're ready to know the gruesome details about how was forced to kill a dozen men in unarmed combat to save the lives of others? How about the time he risked his life to save me from horrific tortures?"

"Oh my…." Kasumi murmured.

The balding man adjusted his glasses as he continued his point. "No, Ranma is not the perfect husband in he doesn't have great job prospects. He will run out in the middle of an anniversary dinner if he gets 'the call.' But I can promise you this: If you need someone to charging in at the last minute to save you, Ranma will be there leading the way on a white horse. He's done it in the past and he's probably doing it now far away from here."

Genma smiled politely before leaving the father and daughter to consider the situation.

Soun thought he was being a bit harsh on the young man, while Kasumi considered what Ranma could save her from.

'Perhaps he could save me from this life?' she asked herself.

* * *

Back at the Cheyenne Mountain facility, Ranma was feeling a little uneasy about his upcoming conversation with Jolinar. It wasn't that he would be alone in a room with someone who had taken a liking to him.

There had been plenty of occasions when attractive women had wanted to him "speak to him in private" in the past. Some of which had even involved actual dialogue taking place, even if the most recent had been Colonel Ionas asking for his opinion on ladies' fashion.

The pigtailed man shook his head at the memory of what happened after he'd stepped into the room and saw the raven-haired woman dressed in a loosely closed silk dressing gown and asked him which set of lingerie would look better on her.

"I still can't believe they're allowed to make things like that," Ranma muttered, recalling the powder-blue garment.

No, the thing that was making Ranma uncomfortable was the fact that it was Captain Carter's body that Jolinar was trying to use to get close to him. Samantha Carter was a very attractive and highly intelligent woman, albeit one that didn't like him in that way.

Thinking back, the martial artist considered the image he'd projected, that of an arrogant, brash man who didn't care how many hearts he broke on his way through the galaxy as long as he had fun.

It made him wonder if he'd taken the wrong approach with Kasumi Tendo.

"I'll apologise to her when I get back to Tokyo," he decided. Taking a deep breath, Ranma knocked on the door to the room Jolinar was staying in.

"Enter."

"So, what did you want to talk to me about?" the pigtailed man asked, eyeing the room's furniture and planning an escape in the event that Carter couldn't control Jolinar's urges.

"I…. I'm sorry if I've made you feel uncomfortable, Ranma," Jolinar said. "You've saved my life several times now, plus you've helped the Tok'Ra numerous times in the past. I just wanted to say thank you."

"What's wrong with a nice meal and directions home?" Ranma asked, folding his arms across his chest. "I appreciate that you don't want to seem ungrateful, unlike these SGC jerks, but you don't have to keep trying to seduce me."

"But I've been lonely, since Martouf died fifteen years ago," the blonde answered. "And you were so brave, so caring…."

"Who's Martouf?"

"My mate. We'd been together for centuries, but he was killed by Ra in a brutal attack."

"I'm very sorry to hear that," Ranma said sympathetically.

A comfortable silence descended on the room as the pigtailed man recalled what it felt like to be alone. Countless times, Ranma had to move on because of his father, saying goodbye to his friends, rivals and in some cases, lovers.

Colonel Jack O'Neill knocked on the door.

"Is everything alright in here?" he asked as he poked his head around the door.

"Yep, we're done," Ranma answered. "So, what do we do now, O'Neill?"

"I was hoping you'd have an answer," Jack smiled before taking a sharp breath. "I think we can agree that Jolinar can't stay in Carter's head. She's too valuable to the SGC."

"Then we need to find me a host. There's a chance I can leave Carter's body without killing us both, but it's not something I'd want to risk unless you have a suitable host for me," Jolinar stated.

"What would you do with the new host?" O'Neill asked. "I take it you'd like to go back to the Tok'Ra."

"It would be my first course of action, yes," the blonde nodded. "I will return whenever possible, but the host would need to be willing to leave the planet for long periods."

"Yeah, that could be a problem," the Colonel winced. "You'd be coming here on business or vacation rather than just working in space.

"But the blending with the host would mean that they'd have a long and healthy life," Jolinar added. "The effect is even greater than that of the Jaffa."

There was a moment's pause. "What kind of diseases can you cure?" Ranma asked.

"Pretty much everything humans have ever encountered," the Tok'Ra explained. She noticed that Ranma had an expression she'd only ever seen when he was thinking up a plan.

"Hmm…. I might know someone willing to be a host. Excuse me for a moment, I need to check up on a few things," the pigtailed man bowed politely before departing to see Dr. Fraiser.

Jolinar turned to face Jack. "You know, I can't help but feel that Ranma always seems to put more in than he gets out of a deal. I remember the agreements to get his father home."

"Yeah," the Colonel winced again. "About that…. could you keep that under your hat?"

"You don't want Ranma to be reminded of how you took advantage of him in case he decides to stop helping you?" the blonde sneered. "Fine, I won't mention that, but you should be nicer to Ranma. All of you in the SGC."

* * *

Ranma walked into the Tendo kitchen, tapping on the door to get Kasumi's attention.

"Oh, hello, Ranma-kun, I wasn't expecting you for a few days. What can I do for you?" the brunette asked, looking up from her dinner preparation.

The pigtailed man rubbed his neck as he tried to manage his words properly. "I….I might be able to help you with your sickness. I know a way to help you live a long and healthy life."

"You do?" Kasumi asked, giving Ranma her full attention.

"Yes, but there's a price to pay, and it's not one you can just agree to just like that," Ranma said, clicking his fingers. "You remember that I offered you the chance to know some of what I know? Well, I'm making this offer again and I'm throwing in the chance for you to never get sick again.

"Just one catch: You'd have to give up your life here in Nerima forever."

"Oh, my…." the homemaker replied. It had been a struggle for her to get out of bed that morning, far greater than normal, and Kasumi couldn't deny that she had expected more from life than that of housewife without the family of her own.

Ranma's expression turned deathly serious. "Look, I know this is a big decision. The world you know will be shattered into a billion pieces. Not only that, but you're going to be see things differently, feel new sensations, have memories of things that happened centuries before you were born.

"Nothing will be ever the same again for you. Can you deal with it?"

* * *

To be continued….


	10. Part 10

Snake in the Horse's Shadow

By Lord Raa

* * *

Disclaim-me-do: A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, but it can make suppositories a bit gritty.

* * *

Part 10

* * *

Kasumi was trying to process what Ranma was telling her. "I…. But who would look after Father if I go?"

Ranma shook his head. "Kasumi, you have a long term degenerative illness. If things take a turn for the worse, you could be dead in six months. You could be hit by a bus tomorrow. Who's going to look after your old man then?

"But tell me this, Kasumi, what do you think about aliens? As in intelligent life that live on other planets? Do you think it's possible?"

The brunette was surprised by Ranma's questions. "I… I hadn't given it much thought," she admitted. "But what's that got to do with anything? Are you an alien, Ranma-kun?"

"Me? No," the pigtailed man said shaking his head. "But the person who'll be helping you is an alien. She also needs help, and if you agree to this, you'll actually be helping two people as well as yourself. It's a long story that I can't really tell you unless you agree to help."

Kasumi frowned. "I'm not sure about this."

"…" Ranma scratched his head as he tried to work out a way to get Kasumi to help him, Jolinar and Carter without forcing her into something she wasn't ready for. "OK, Kasumi, here's a simple version:

"1) Aliens exist and have technology far in advance of anything we have. 2) Some aliens are bad, some are good. 3) One of the good aliens needs a new host body and whoever it is will be healthy for a long, long time. 4) If you agree to this, you'll have to leave town forever as you'll have a job helping fight some of the bad aliens on worlds far, far away from here."

"Oh, my"

"Yeah, so do you want to help two people, yourself and the countless others on planets you've never heard of by doing this or do you want to stay here and be the nursemaid for an old man?" Ranma asked. "I am very sorry for putting you on the spot like this, but this is a one-time offer."

"I…." Kasumi bit her lip as she weighed up the options. 'It would be nice to go through a day without being in agony….' "But what about my father? I can't just leave him without explaining where I'm going."

"My old man will look after him," the martial artist said. He held up a hand to excuse himself for a moment. "Be right back."

Ranma returned with his father. "Pops, I need to help Jolinar find a new host. If I can't, she'll be stuck in Captain Carter's body forever."

"I see," Genma said solemnly. "What's your plan?"

"I was thinking that Kasumi here could be Jolinar's new host."

The elder Saotome appraised the brunette. He spotted what was wrong and mentally kicked himself for not noticing it earlier.

"How long have you been sick, Kasumi?"

"I…. how did you know?" the homemaker asked, turning to Ranma to glare at him for revealing her secret.

"Your stance," Genma answered. "You're trying to keep the weight off the joints in your legs. Your father isn't the sort of man who forces physical hardships upon his children, which leaves sickness. So, Ranma, you think that Kasumi would make a good Tok'Ra host?"

"Does it matter? I mean, with the greatest of respects, what kind of life does she have? Kasumi," Ranma said, turning towards the brunette, "You're dying from a long term degenerative illness and your main role in life is to look after your ageing father. You've got a shitty life and I'm offering you the chance for a new one."

"I…." Kasumi struggled to find an appropriate response.

"Lots of people are in Kasumi's position, Ranma," Genma said, rubbing his neck. "Are you going to help all those people as well? Just how many people do you want to tell about the Stargate?"

"I know I can't help everyone, Pops, but, I don't know, I just felt that I had to do something. Can you blame me?"

"Not really," the balding man sighed. "And what about you, Kasumi? Are you ready to have your world turned upside down? What about learning how to do things you thought were impossible? Remembering things that never happened to you?"

"I…. is it worth it?" Kasumi asked, looking at the two men for signs of deception or mockery.

"I don't like the idea of not being in complete control of my body," Ranma admitted. "But knowing about aliens and travelling to weird planets? That's totally worth it."

"What about you, Saotome-san?"

Genma removed his bandana and ran a hand though his thinning hair. "I agree with Ranma on both points. I have spent a lifetime learning to master martial arts with this body," he sighed. "I still remember the first time I managed to complete a backflip after jumping off a wall. Everything I can do, every martial arts manoeuvre, every fighting style I learned, I learned how to do so myself. I can't let that go."

"You'll still be able to cook or arrange flowers or embroider cushions, Kasumi," the pigtailed man added. "If you want to do that sort of thing, I mean. It's just, it's hard to explain to someone who hasn't spent a lifetime learning martial arts, that's all."

"You should meet Jolinar, Kasumi," Genma said, replacing his bandana. "If you don't like her, you don't do this. It's as simple as that."

"All right, I'll meet Jolinar," Kasumi decided after she took a deep breath. "But what about dinner?"

"I'll take care of that," the portly man smiled. "I can manage to cook a meal for two while you decide your destiny."

* * *

Jack O'Neill was not happy about the way Ranma seemed to be able to just stroll into the SGC as if it was his own home.

Not only was it a massive security headache, but the pigtailed man often had a smirk on his face when he sauntered into the Briefing Room as if nothing was wrong.

"Good evening, everybody," Ranma said with a wave. "This is Kasumi Tendo and she's going to have a chat with Jolinar about becoming the new host."

All eyes in the room turned to the embarrassed brunette.

"Go on, say 'hello', Kasumi," the martial artist gestured to the members of the SGC.

"¬I…. I can't speak English!¬" Kasumi whispered, her cheeks burning brightly.

"Is something the matter, Ranma?" asked General Hammond.

"Slight oversight on my part, General," Ranma chuckled. "Kasumi doesn't speak English. And now that I think about it, I don't know if Jolinar can speak any Japanese. This could be interesting."

"To say the least," Jack O'Neill said, rolling his eyes. "Are you going to translate for them?"

"If they need me to," the pigtailed man shrugged. "So, who's going to escort Kasumi?"

"I will," Daniel said, rising to his feet. "Konnichiwa, Tendo Kasumi-san. Watashi wa Daniel Jackson desu."

"K-konnichiwa, J-Jackson-san," the brunette bowed politely.

"Unfortunately that's about the limit of my Japanese," the bespectacled man apologised.

"Don't look at me," Jack said, raising his hands defensively. "I've met English people I haven't understood."

When Daniel had left the room with Kasumi, Ranma clapped his hands together. "So, you guys got anything to eat around here?"

* * *

Back in Japan, Soun Tendo was feeling hungry. He tried to keep out of his eldest daughter's way when it came to culinary matters, but he was finding it hard to resist. Walking into the kitchen for an update on the evening meal, he was surprised to his old training partner preparing some food.

"Saotome-kun, what's going on? Where's Kasumi?"

"Ah, about that," Genma said, pausing in his preparation of the instant ramen. "She's had to step out for a while."

"But what about dinner?" Soun asked, his heart sinking at the thought of missing out on his daughter's cooking.

"Don't worry about that, Tendo-kun, I'm taking care of that. Sure, it's ramen for dinner, but I know what I'm doing."

"But…." the moustachioed man trailed off when he caught the smell of the food. "That actually smells pretty good."

"I told you I was handling it. It's nearly ready."

"Where's Ranma?" Soun asked, noticing that the pigtailed man wasn't around.

"He's with Kasumi," Genma answered.

"He's with Kasumi? Does that mean that the schools will finally be united?"

The portly man turned the heat off and allowed the ramen to stand for a minute. "I don't know, Tendo-kun, but who can say what the future holds for us?"

* * *

Jolinar looked at her visitors; she smiled at Daniel Jackson. Thanks to the Tok'Ra's ability to access the host's memories, she had learned a great deal about the scholar.

"Hello Daniel Jackson."

"Hi Jolinar, I…. this is Kasumi Tendo, Ranma brought her to have talk about being your new host. But the thing is…." Daniel trailed off.

"¬Hello, Kasumi Tendo, my name is Jolinar. I believe we have a few things to discuss,¬" the Tok'Ra bowed politely as she spoke in Japanese.

"¬Hello, Jolinar," Kasumi bowed in return. "¬Where did you learn to speak Japanese?¬"

"¬Ah, that, it's complicated. When I learned that English wasn't Ranma's first language, I made the effort to study Japanese so I could properly express my gratitude for his help freeing me from Sokar's prison.¬" Jolinar turned to Daniel. "I don't mean to be rude, Daniel Jackson, but could you leave us alone?"

"Of course. I'll be back in an hour."

When they were alone, the brunette sat down and let out a sigh.

"¬Are you alright, Kasumi-san?¬"

"¬I'm just tired, that's all.¬"

"¬Are you sick?¬" Jolinar asked, giving her visitor a closer inspection. "¬Is that why Ranma brought you here to talk to me?¬"

"¬Y-yes,¬" Kasumi admitted. She let out another sigh "¬I…. I'm scared. What should I do? I don't want to stop being me, but I don't want to die. ¬"

The Tok'Ra nodded in understanding. "¬I know what you mean, but you will stop being you when you die. If you accept the offer to be my host at least part of you will live on for many more years.¬"

"¬But what will I do?¬"

"¬Fight alongside the rest of the Tok'Ra to end the scourge of the Goa'uld,¬" Jolinar answered. "¬Maybe have some fun with Ranma while we're at it, who knows?¬"

"¬You like Ranma-kun a lot, don't you?¬" Kasumi asked rhetorically. "¬Why is that?¬"

"¬Your eyes do work, don't they? You are able to see his hot body and good looks, right?¬" the blonde asked, carefully eyeing the brunette. "¬But it's more than just a physical attraction and the fact that he'll risk his life to save as many people as he can. Ranma is a good man.¬"

"¬But he's so…. rude.¬"

"¬I don't think Ranma's intentionally confrontational, Kasumi-san, he's just got a directness that can take you by surprise. Ranma's a 'say what you mean, mean what you say' type of man. Personally, I think it's part of his charm.¬"

Kasumi closed her eyes as she considered what she was hearing. After a moment, she turned to look Jolinar in the eyes. "¬You want this a lot, don't you? ¬"

"¬Yes, I do,¬" Jolinar nodded. "¬And not just because I have feelings for Ranma.¬"

"¬If you have feelings for Ranma, why don't you just stay in that body?¬"

The blonde scratched her head. "¬Well, there are two reasons, really. One, Captain Carter doesn't like Ranma in the same way I do, and Ranma knows this. Two, as much as I want to be with Ranma, I have a duty to the rest of the Tok'Ra to defeat the Goa'uld. I can't do that in Captain Carter's body, the SGC need her.¬"

Kasumi started to stroke her ponytail as she contemplated her decision. "¬What will happen to Captain Carter if you leave her body?¬"

"¬. She won't be going on any missions for a while, but I think she will recover in time if we have access to a healing device,¬" Jolinar answered.

"¬I'll ask Ranma-kun if he has one,¬" the brunette said as she stood up.

* * *

Ranma was sitting in the mess hall with Colonel O'Neill and Teal'c.

The pigtailed man was just finishing his third plate of food, much to his dining companions' disapproval.

"Do you even taste what you eat?" O'Neill asked.

Teal'c nodded. "Would it not be easier to put your food in a blender?"

"Of course I can taste it. It's just that I often need to be ready to move at a moment's notice," Ranma answered. "And as for drinking my meals, I need to exercise my jaws. Just talking doesn't help all that much."

"So you're saying that your eating habits are just part of your exercise regime?" the Colonel asked. "That's a new one on me."

Putting down the fork, Ranma reached for his glass of water. "I'll have you know that being able to chew through rope has saved my life more than once."

"Is it wise to ask for details?" Teal'c asked Jack.

"I kinda want to know, but I'm also kinda scared what I might learn," O'Neill admitted.

The martial artist rolled his eyes as he let out a sigh. "Not every story I tell you is about me being kidnapped by women."

"No, just most of them."

"It's not my fault that some people find me irresistible!" Ranma huffed. "I don't think people realise just how much of a curse my rugged good looks and stunning physique are."

"Modest fellow, aren't you?" O'Neill smirked.

"When was the last time you were offered up as a prize for a warrior cult's rite of passage?" the pigtailed man asked, his tone deadly serious. "It's happened to me three times on two different planets in the last five years! The last time, I barely escaped with the loincloth they made me wear intact!"

The occupants of the three tables that surrounded Ranma's seat turned to face him, causing the Colonel to facepalm.

"What are we going to do with you, Ranma?" he sighed.

The sound of footsteps approaching the table caught everyone's attention. It was Kasumi Tendo and Daniel Jackson.

"Hi guys," the archaeologist smiled. He had noticed that Ranma had either said or done something to gain the interest of several tables. "I'm not going to ask what's going on, but Kasumi has something she wants to say to you, Ranma."

"Oh, OK," the pigtailed man nodded. "¬What can I do for you, Kasumi?¬"

"¬I….¬" the brunette was clearly nervous. "¬Can I ask a favour?¬?"

"¬Of course. Should we go somewhere more private?¬"

"¬Please.¬"

The pair walked away to a secluded section of corridor.

"So, what can I do for you, Kasumi?" Ranma asked in Japanese.

"I… or rather, Jolinar wanted to know if you have a healing device," Kasumi replied.

The pigtailed man slapped his forehead. "Idiot…"

"Ranma-kun?"

"Yes, Kasumi, I have a healing device. I just completely forgot about it. I could have just healed you without you needing to go through this massive life changing experience," Ranma explained. "I still can if you're having second thoughts about leaving home."

* * *

To be continued…


	11. Part 11

Snake in the Horse's Shadow

By Lord Raa

* * *

Disclaim-me-do: There is no sexy way to remove a leg.

* * *

Part 11

* * *

Kasumi was in deep thought about her options. It was true that she wanted more from life, but it was also true that she felt obligated to look after her father.

"Kasumi?" Ranma asked her as he approached. "Have you made your decision?"

"I… I don't know what to do, Ranma-kun," she admitted. "What you're offering sounds very exciting, but I can't abandon my father. I'm sorry."

"You want a life of your own, but you need to make sure your father is cared for," the long-haired man said in an understanding tone.

"But what about Jolinar?" the brunette asked. "I don't want to let her down…"

"I'll find Jolinar a new host; you worry about your father. I'll let everyone know about your decision."

"But who?"

"I don't know yet, Kasumi," Ranma admitted. "But if you need to look after your family, then you should look after them."

"Then you're not angry?" Kasumi asked, she blinked slowly as she felt the energy drain out of her.

"I can't criticise someone for thinking of their family first; I risked life and limb to rescue my dad from some hellish places. If your family is important to you, then they come first; no doubts about it."

"I… thank you for understanding, Ranma-kun," Kasumi bowed politely. When she returned upright, she felt a little dizzy. "Oh…"

"Is everything alright, Kasumi?"

"I'm a little tired, that's all."

Before Ranma could ask "Are you sure?" the brunette collapsed like a marionette with the strings cut, with only the martial artist's reactions stopping her from falling to the floor.

"Crap. Little help here?" he called out. "Anyone? I need a doctor here!"

* * *

Colonel O'Neill had been growing impatient with Ranma's attempts to convince Kasumi to help get the Goa'uld out of Carter's head and decided to check up on him.

"I need a doctor here!"

Breaking into a jog, he rushed to where he heard the voices come from and saw Ranma cradling the brunette.

"Ranma, what's wrong?"

"I don't know, she just collapsed. Which way to Dr. Fraiser?"

"This way," O'Neill said as he ran off in the direction of the Infirmary.

* * *

Ranma, for all his faults, knew when he couldn't help and stood back. He wore a look of apprehension on his face as he watched Janet Fraiser expertly examine the unconscious brunette.

It was a side of his personality that O'Neill hadn't seen before.

'Medical emergencies are always humbling experiences…' the Colonel thought as the medical team put Kasumi on a ventilator.

A few minutes later, Dr. Fraiser approached the two men. "I'm sorry to tell you this, Ranma, but I've got some bad news for you: Kasumi has suffered a brain haemorrhage. We're doing what we can, but brain injuries are hard to predict and we'll know more in the morning."

"Is there anything I can do?"

"Not right now, Ranma, but you should know that if the damage is too severe, Kasumi won't wake up," the doctor explained.

"She'll be stuck there in that bed?" the martial artist asked.

"I'm sorry, but yes, she will be. She won't even be able breathe on her own."

Ranma turned away. "I… shit. This is my fault. I knew she wasn't well, and I made her use the rings…"

"You can't predict a brain haemorrhage, Ranma. They're triggered by many things: aneurysms, head trauma, hypertension, brain tumours are all linked with them. She could have had this bleed last week or next month." Fraiser explained.

"But still, finding out you're being asked to host an alien couldn't have helped."

"Maybe not, but you mentioned she'd been ill. Do you know what it was?"

"Err… some sort of auto-immune disease," the raven-haired man said, looking a little distracted. "We didn't really go into the specifics."

* * *

"Mr. Tendo, I…" Ranma started to say to the empty room. "Crap, I don't know what to say to him. I can't tell him the truth."

There was a knock on the door.

"Yeah?"

"Ranma, I'm sorry to bother you, but Jolinar wants to talk to you," Jack O'Neill said solemnly.

"I'm not really in the mood to talk to anyone right now."

"She said it's important," the Colonel added.

"Fine, lead the way," the martial artist sighed. "I don't suppose you've got any idea what it's about, do you?"

"She said something about leaving Carter."

Ranma silently followed O'Neill to where Captain Carter was being held.

"What's up now, Jolinar?"

"I… I'm reaching the point of no-return. If I don't change hosts now, I won't be able without killing Captain Carter," the blonde explained.

"Well, I'm sorry, but Kasumi's lying in the Infirmary with some kind of bleeding in her brain right now," the pigtailed man snapped.

"I can save her, but I have to act now, Ranma!"

"What's the problem, Ranma?" asked O'Neill.

"Kasumi," Ranma sighed. "Kasumi said that she couldn't abandon her father. I can't blame her for putting family first."

"But she's dying, Ranma. Doing this now saves her and helps out the SGC by giving us Carter back," the Colonel insisted. "Not to mention the countless lives the Tok'Ra will save from the Goa'uld."

"I know. But it has to be her choice. I can't just give the go-ahead for a parasitic snake to take up permanent residence in her head if she'd rather die."

* * *

Ranma stood by Kasumi's bed, looking concerned at the tubes going into the brunette.

"Kasumi, I don't know if you can hear me, but the only way to save you is for Jolinar to go into your head. It means you're going to have to leave your life behind, but this is your only chance."

Ranma scratched his head. "I… if you can hear me and you understand and you want to go through with this, squeeze my hand," the pigtailed man said as he place his hand inside Kasumi's.

The adrenaline rushing through the martial artist's veins caused his perception of time to slow.

"Come on, Kasumi, please tell me you can hear me."

The tension continued to build, but then ever so gently, Kasumi squeezed Ranma's hand.

"Thank you, Kasumi. I'll get Jolinar in here now."

* * *

Ranma returned to the Tendo Dojo and sought out his father.

"Dad, I need to talk to you."

"What's up, Son?"

"It's about Kasumi," the pigtailed man said with a sense of urgency. He took his father into an unoccupied room for some privacy. "You know she's sick? Well, she's gotten worse."

"How bad is it?" Genma asked, his expression solemn.

Ranma took a deep breath. "She collapsed. The doctors said that she didn't have a chance."

"Is she still with the SGC?"

"Yeah."

"We should bring her back for Tendo-kun. He should see her before she passes away," the portly man said.

"There's a problem. You know how I had an idea to cure her of her sickness; it involved her hosting a Tok'Ra, Jolinar. We talked it over, but she said 'no' at first. Then she collapsed with a brain thing, I think the doctor called it a 'haemorrhage'. Her hosting Jolinar was the only way to save her."

"This is awkward," Genma sighed. "Tendo-kun relies on Kasumi. He makes first-year university students look like skilled homemakers; he can barely make instant noodles, let alone keep a house running smoothly. Ignoring him having to look after himself, what are we going to tell him when his daughter can't come home any more?"

"I don't know, you know him better than I do!" Ranma countered.

"Even before we left for our training trip, it'd been years since I saw him. Even if he was my brother, I wouldn't know how to tell him that his first born child wasn't dead, but he couldn't see her ever again."

Silence descended as the two martial artists considered what to do.

"If you were to tell him that you were taking a job in America and that you were willing to take Kasumi with you as your fiancée…"

"Pops, ignoring the fact we've talked about you arranging marriages before, I'm not getting married to a Snakehead."

"You wouldn't have to get married to her, Ranma," Genma clarified.

"Pops, Jolinar likes me. She tried to use Carter to convince me we should, you know. Telling her that I've got some kind of arranged marriage with her host is going to be like trying to fight off a lion with a steak!"

"If you can think of a better idea, then I'm all ears, Son. Look, what if we tell Jolinar that she's got to pretend to be your fiancée?" the older Saotome suggested. "Rather than it being a proper engagement?"

"Pops…" the pigtailed martial artist sighed, "Are you really telling me that you don't see this going wrong?"

"If you've got a better idea, I'm all ears, Ranma."

Ranma finally conceded with a sigh. "Fine, but you better not try anything. It's going to be hard enough getting Jolinar to pretend as it is."

* * *

Samantha Carter blinked slowly. She hadn't felt this bad in a long time. After a few minutes contemplation, she had come to the conclusion that her current condition could be described as bad hangover combined with a dose of the flu, minus all the mucus.

"…ugh…" she groaned exhaustedly.

"Captain Carter?" Dr. Fraiser asked, looking up from her clipboard. There was another groan, this one answering in the affirmative. "You've been out for two days. How do you feel?"

"Drained. How's Kasumi?"

"She's been unconscious since Jolinar was transferred," Janet answered. "Since we've never really seen Goa'uld healing up close before, I asked Teal'c about this. Apparently, it'll take some time for her to get up to speed, despite the symbiote."

"Y-yeah," Carter agreed, flashes of memory surfacing when she thought about the Goa'uld blending process.

There was a knock on the door, drawing the two women's attention to Jack O'Neill.

"About time you woke up, Carter," the Colonel joked. "We were beginning to think that we'd need to find a replacement scientist."

"You won't get rid of me that easily, Sir," the blonde smiled.

"Glad to hear it, Captain. Doc, what's the official medical advice?"

"At least another day here in the infirmary for observation," the doctor replied. "Then a week's leave before she can come back for desk duty. A week of that, and we can talk about more strenuous work."

"Paperwork? Ouch," Jack sympathised. "Still, it beats a lifetime in a cell with a snake in your head. How's Kasumi and Jolinar doing, Doc?"

"Jolinar is still working on healing Kasumi, Colonel. Brain haemorrhages are complicated things to repair, let alone when there's an underlying auto-immune condition. I can't say when she'll be fit enough to travel, but her condition is improving."

* * *

"Saotome-kun, when did Kasumi say she'll be back from visiting her friend?" asked Soun Tendo.

"Are you getting tired of my cooking, Tendo-kun?" Genma teased.

"I didn't mean to sound ungrateful, but Kasumi's been gone for nearly a week now. It's not like her to just leave like this."

The stockier of the two men took a deep breath. "Tendo-kun, there's something I need to tell you. Ranma has been offered a job based in America; it's something that he can't turn down."

The moustachioed man looked downhearted. "Oh, but what about…."

"He'd like Kasumi to come with him."

"You mean, they're willing to get married?" Soun asked, suddenly feeling elated.

"Eventually, yes," Genma nodded. "But she's going to have to leave Japan. I don't know when she'll be able to come back to visit you."

"The last of my girls is leaving me…" the long-haired man sighed. "I… what do I do now?"

"Ranma will return with Kasumi and they'll tell you the details, Tendo-kun. But in all honesty, you'll need to learn how to look after yourself. You're my friend, I won't let you be abandoned to a life of squalor and takeaway food."

"Thank you, Saotome-kun."

"And if you're a helpless student, I'll just have to help you find a new wife," Genma teased.

* * *

Back at the infirmary in the SGC, Ranma sat by Kasumi's bed. He was beginning to wonder if Jolinar was able to heal her new host.

He had been told Captain Carter had already woken up, albeit with her feeling like she shouldn't have.

"So why aren't you awake yet, Kasumi?" the martial artist rhetorically. "I thought those Goa'uld were able to heal pretty much anything."

"The here are limits to what the symbiote can heal, Ranma Saotome," Teal'c said, drawing Ranma's attention away from the stirring body to his left. "But as a general rule, they will guarantee long life and good health to the host."

"So why isn't Kasumi awake? Or even Jolinar?" Ranma asked.

"Because it took some time for me to heal this body, Ranma," Jolinar said, surprising both men. "If Kasumi had agreed earlier, then the blending process would not have taken as long."

"Sorry about that," the pigtailed man apologised.

"Your apologies are not necessary; I understand why there was a delay, Ranma," the Tok'Ra said sympathetically. "Kasumi wishes to speak with you. In private."

"I will tell Colonel O'Neill and the others that you have awakened," Teal'c said before bowing and leaving to allow some privacy.

When they were alone, Kasumi's eyes returned to their normal colour.

"¬How are you feeling, Kasumi?¬"

"¬Ranma, I… everything feels so strange. I'm tired, but not in the way I felt last week.¬" There was a pause as Kasumi looked away for a moment.

"¬Is everything alright, Kasumi?¬"

"¬Soon after Jolinar started to communicate with me, I started to get these visions.¬"

"¬What kind of visions?¬" Ranma asked.

The brunette blushed. "¬I… they were, well, I… they were experiences of being with a man.¬"

The martial artist scratched the back of his head. "¬Ah. There's something that I need to tell you. Because you're now part of the Tok'Ra, you can't stay in Tokyo.¬"

"¬But what about Father?¬"

"¬As far as he's concerned, you and I are engaged.¬"

"¬Engaged?¬" Kasumi asked. At first she was somewhat shocked, but then the situation filtered through to Jolinar.

"¬It was the only way to explain why you had to move away from Tokyo. We have to keep the truth about aliens under wraps,¬" Ranma explained. "¬But this way you can come back to visit your father; you just have to pretend when you're around him. The rest of the time, you can do whatever you like.¬"

"¬Oh, I'm sure that I'll find a suitable solution…¬" Kasumi smiled as Dr. Fraiser walked into the room.

"I see you're feeling better, Kasumi. Do you mind if I examine you?"

"I'll leave you in peace," the long-haired man said with a polite bow. "I'm going to check up on Captain Carter."

* * *

Ranma knocked on the door to the room where Carter was resting.

"Come in," the blonde said in a tired voice.

"I just came to see how you're doing," the martial artist said as he approached the bed.

"I haven't felt this tired for a while," the Captain answered. "How's Kasumi?"

"She's awake, but I think she needs to rest up before she goes through the Stargate. Looks like she's not the only one."

Carter smiled. "Ranma…. I... I wanted to thank you."

"What for?"

"For refusing Jolinar's advances. I could tell that you two had a history, and I know that there are men who wouldn't have been so noble."

Ranma sat down next to the bed where Carter was now sitting up. "Even if I didn't believe in people being free, I didn't want to have to deal with you trying to kill me. We've had our disagreements, but that doesn't mean we can't be friends."

Carter smiled. 'Well, I can see how Jolinar was charmed by him.' "Agreed. Friends?"

The martial artist shook hands with the scientist. "Friends. I heard you're going to be stuck behind a desk for a while?"

"Yeah, I've got another day's observation, a week's medical leave and then a week's desk duty before Dr. Frasier will even consider letting me go through the Stargate."

"Ouch. Still, I guess you'll have an excuse to look at the naquadah reactor I gave you. You do still have it, right?"

"Yes," Samantha nodded. "I haven't had much chance to investigate it properly."

"Good," Ranma smiled. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to work out how to tidy up this thing with Kasumi."

* * *

Ranma returned to Kasumi's room, surprised to see her standing up.

"Kasumi?"

"Jolinar, actually. So, I hear that you're going to be my husband?"

The pigtailed martial artist winced. "Something like that. It was the only way to keep you, Carter and Kasumi alive and free."

"Oh well, I suppose that I can pretend. Might make a few people jealous when they hear what's happened," the Tok'Ra smirked.

"Yeah, about that," Ranma said his face serious. "If you go around blurting out how you're my fiancée, people will try to hurt you. I can think of several aliens who'd happily skin you alive just to get at me."

"That would explain why you've been reluctant to take a mate," Jolinar mused. "I thought you were just being indecisive."

Ranma's eyes narrowed, but he remained held his own council on that matter. "Moving along, when do you think I can take Kasumi to say goodbye to her father?"

"We can go now, if you like."

"Get dressed first. It's going to be awkward enough as it is."

* * *

Before leaving for Nerima, Ranma and Kasumi had been called into General Hammond's office for a one last conversation.

"Miss Tendo, Jolinar, thank you for your help resolving the issue with Captain Carter," the bald man said, bowing his head respectfully. "I understand that you're making a great personal sacrifice."

"You're welcome," Kasumi hesitantly replied in English. She was still getting used to the idea of knowledge being in her head that she hadn't learned herself. But a few strange things was more than worth being able to move without pain.

"Yes, thank you, Kasumi. You too, Ranma."

She looked to see Ranma nodding at Colonel O'Neill.

"Don't worry about it. I like to help," the pigtailed martial artist replied with a modest shrug. "I'm just worried how Kasumi's father going to take it when I tell him I have to take his daughter away with me."

"It could be worse, you could have gotten Kasumi pregnant," O'Neill smirked. "That said, she is technically eating for two now…."

"Don't even joke about that," Ranma warned.

The Colonel blanched. "Yeah, I saw what happened when we saw the Baroness…. I'm sorry Ranma."

"The Baroness?" Kasumi repeated.

"Long story which we're not going into right now," Ranma insisted. He turned to face General Hammond. "Thank you for your hospitality and help getting my father home. If you need my help, you know where to reach me. Well, when I'm on Earth, I mean."

"Where will you keep your ship?"

"Not telling," the martial artist replied. "If you don't know, you can't tell anyone. I've learned that the hard way."

"Fair enough," O'Neill nodded in approval. He was reminded of his previous classified missions.

"I'll let you know when I get back," Ranma said moments before the transport rings on his ship descended around him and Kasumi.

* * *

There was a flash of bright light inside the Tendo dojo.

"I'm not sure I'll ever get used to that," Kasumi said as she looked around and realised that she'd been teleported several thousand miles.

"That's nothing to the delights the galaxy has to offer," Ranma replied with an honest smile. "Jolinar should share some of her memories with you. There are a lot of beautiful things out there and we can see some of them when we visit the Tok'Ra."

"That would be nice," Kasumi said absently as she started to make her way to the house.

"It's been that long since you last walked without pain, huh?" the martial artist asked.

"I…. yes," the brunette admitted in a quiet voice.

"Don't worry about it. I had a shard of metal in my shoulder for three months. Hurt every time I moved my arm," Ranma smiled. "We'll give your father the news and we'll head off in the morning."

"So soon?"

"If you want to stay for a few days to say goodbye, you can. I just thought that Jolinar would want to get going."

"I should at least say goodbye to my sisters, Ranma," Kasumi chided. "No wonder, Captain Carter thought you were uncivilised."

Ranma paused. Kasumi had a point, he and his father did tend to depart quickly. But in defence of the Saotomes, it was often a good idea for them to keep moving. Though Ranma and his father regularly debated whether it was worse that the reason for slipping away was people trying to kill you or marry you.

"You're right, Kasumi, I'm sorry," the pigtailed man apologised with a bow.

The brunette allowed herself a small smile. After all, being interesting didn't mean you had to be impolite. Bracing herself, Kasumi opened the door to the house and announced her return.

Soun swept up his eldest daughter in his arms and wept for joy at her return.

"Kasumi, my darling!"

"Father, please," the brunette said, trying to keep her shoulders away from the tears streaming from her father's face.

"I'm sorry, Kasumi, it's just that you're leaving…."

"Not for a few days, father. I do want to say goodbye to Akane and Nabiki. Plus, I need to make sure that you'll be able to look after yourself while I'm gone. I don't know when I'll be able to visit."

* * *

To be continued…..


	12. Part 12

Snake in the Horse's Shadow

By Lord Raa

* * *

Disclaim-me-do: It's not gay if the other party is a quasi-sentient fighter jet.

* * *

Part 12

* * *

Akane picked up the ringing phone and answered it politely.

"¬Akane, it's your father, I've got some big news for you.¬"

"Oh? How big"

"¬Life changing. Are you available on the 25th? Nabiki will be in town that day and we want to tell you both in person,¬" Soun said, barely able contain his joy.

"Is it so secret that you can't tell me over the phone?" Akane asked. Not that she didn't want to see her sisters, but if it was important enough for Nabiki to come to town, it was probably too important to wait four days. "Wait, is this bad news, Dad?"

"¬No, no, it's good news.¬"

"But you won't tell me over the phone?" Akane asked, her tone warning her father to stop messing her about.

"¬All right, you twisted my arm. It's about Kasumi, I'll let her tell you.¬"

"¬Akane, I'm… I'm moving to America.¬"

"What? Why? When? What's brought all this on?"

"¬I'm moving to America with Ranma-kun. He's been offered a job out there, one that he can't refuse.¬"

"OK, so Ranma's moving to America. What's his job got to do with you?" Akane demanded.

"¬It… it's the only way to make Father's dream happen. I was never very good at martial arts, Akane, but it's the last chance at uniting the schools.¬"

Akane started to pace as she processed this information. It wasn't that she didn't want her family to be happy, but Kasumi couldn't speak English. She'd be a second class citizen over there.

"I… But what will you be doing? Are you really happy with this, Kasumi?"

"¬It's a complicated situation, Akane. But don't worry, I'll explain it all to you and Nabiki when you come over.¬"

"I might come over for answers before the 25th," the actress said, looking at her calendar.

"¬Of course, you're more than welcome to do that, Akane. And yes, Ryoga-kun is invited as well,¬" Kasumi said in a reassuring tone.

"What about Nabiki's husband?"

"¬Nabiki mentioned that he was otherwise engaged,¬" the homemaker said.

Akane felt some of the anxiety drain from her. "I guess I'll see when I see you. Take care, Kasumi."

"¬I will, Akane, I will.¬"

* * *

At Stargate Command, Captain Carter was relieved to be discharged from the infirmary.

Colonel O'Neill was walking with her, having offered to drive her home. "Remember you're under orders to take it easy for the next week."

"Thank you for driving me, sir," the blonde smiled. "I'm just glad to be able to go home."

"I've spoken with General Hammond," Jack said as he held the door open. "He said that when you come back, you're to focus on that naquadah reactor of Ranma's."

"I am, sir?"

"Yes. I know we kinda put it on the backburner, but if you're going to be deskbound for a week, I figure we might as well use the opportunity to figure out what we can use it for."

"I see, sir," Samantha nodded.

"Of course, if you're not ready to come back to work, we'll just have to wait until you are. So make sure you focus on resting up for the next week, OK?"

"Yes, sir."

* * *

Back in Nerima, Ranma was relaxing with his father as they watched the sun set.

"How you holding up, Ranma?"

"Not too bad. What about you?"

Genma took a deep breath. "I… it's nice to be back home, but something feels off."

"What, like you forgot something?" the pigtailed man asked. A smirk appeared on his face as he realised another possibility. "Or are you not used to people not being after us?"

"Such insolence," the portly man chided good-naturedly. "But it might be that. It's hard to relax like this, it's so calm here."

"You're not going to go out looking for trouble are you?

"No, I don't think so," Genma replied with a smile. "Trouble always seemed to find me. Just like women always seem to fine you."

"At least we don't have to worry about you beating up delinquents or organised criminal gangs," Ranma smiled back. He let his father's comment about how women seemed to find him slide.

After all, he had to pretend he had a fiancée now, and with his luck, the moment he mentioned another woman, Kasumi would appear, miss the context and there would be trouble for him.

It's how it had gone for most of the last 10 years.

A silence descended between the two Saotomes as they watched the sun sink lower.

"Pops… I… I never asked this while we were training and never while we were... you know, as we had more important things to worry about at the time," Ranma said hesitantly.

"What is it, son?"

"What happened to Mom?" the younger Saotome asked. "I mean, I got asked about her a couple of times, but I never had a real answer."

Genma sighed. This would be painful for his son to hear.

"I… I'm sorry to tell you this, Ranma, but your mother died when you were a child."

"W-what? W-when? H-how?" the pigtailed man asked, shaken by this bombshell.

"You were two at the time," Genma said, his voice tired and his eyes filled with sadness. "You're thinking why did I never tell you about her?"

Ranma nodded.

"It was hard. I loved her, she was the most beautiful woman I met. She was kind, a brilliant cook, a loving woman. A Yamato nadeshiko if ever you saw one. Well, aside from her inability to hold a sword properly, I mean." That last comment brought a small smile to the old man's lips.

"I see. How did she…?"

"Part of her heart was too big. It had an irregular beat," Genma's smile faded. "Time hasn't made this easier to think about, never mind talk about."

"Dad…." Ranma embraced his father. "I'm sorry…."

"It's alright Ranma, you couldn't know. I never brought her up because I had to be strong for you, son. You were all I had. You were my pride, my joy, my reason to keep going."

Genma looked up at the darkening sky. "There is one more thing that I never told you about your mother."

Ranma looked at his father intently.

"Y…." he took a deep breath. "You were with her when she died. I came home to find you trying to wake her up."

Tears were now falling from the portly man's eyes. "I called for an ambulance, but when they arrived, they told me your mother…. she... she'd been dead for three hours."

The surprise Ranma felt seeing his normally stoic father so emotional just added to his conflicting feelings. He was sad to learn that his mother had died so long ago, shocked to learn that he'd been there when she died and there was a pang of guilt for making his old man cry.

"Pops… I…"

"It's alright, Ranma," Genma said wiping the tears from his face. "I…. heh, I actually feel better telling you this. If I'd known, I'd have told you sooner."

Ranma nodded.

"That said," the balding man smirked, "I dread to think what would've happened if anyone had known about this."

The pigtailed man covered his mouth as he processed that scenario. "Oh shit… Can you imagine the Baroness and her people?"

The two Saotomes laughed as the sun finally sank below the horizon.

* * *

Three days later, at Cheyenne Mountain, several alarms blared as the Stargate started to activate.

"Incoming wormhole!" the technician announced. "No teams currently scheduled to return. No signal."

"Close the iris," General Hammond ordered.

The metal covering slid shut five seconds before the wormhole engaged. There was the sound of something hitting the aperture before the wormhole disengaged.

"That was short and sweet," Jack commented. "Wonder what they wanted?"

The technician blinked before attracting the attention of his commanding officers. "Sirs…. there's a residue on the iris. It matches the signal of the Sagan box."

"Colonel O'Neill, we need to talk in my office. Bring Teal'c and Dr. Jackson."

"Aye, sir."

In General Hammond's office, the Texan asked his team what was going on.

"Sir, we gave the people of Cimmeria a Sagan box," Jack answered. "It was for when Thor and his people showed up again. Looks like he's back in town."

"Just as Captain Carter is on medical leave."

"I really wanted SG-1 to be at full strength for this, Colonel," Hammond said before letting out a sigh.

"We can prepare a MALP and make initial contact," Daniel suggested. "That way we can prepare for a more formal meeting while Sam recovers."

"Agreed. Colonel make the preparations and we'll send out a MALP ASAP."

* * *

The first images were coming in from the MALP's cameras and they were not filling SG-1 with confidence.

The cameras showed a number of dead Cimmerian bodies strewn around the Stargate.

Teal'c leaned in for a better look at the corpses. "These wounds have been caused by staff weapons."

"Can you pan the camera around a bit for me," O'Neill asked, a cold feeling growing in the pit of his stomach.

The MALP showed a dead Jaffa warrior.

"Friend of yours, Teal'c?" the Colonel asked as the camera panned around some more to show the remains of Thor's Hammer.

"Clearly Cimmeria is no longer safe from the Goa'uld."

A distraught woman approached the MALP.

"¬Please, help us. The Etins have come.¬"

"Ah, crap…"

"Colonel O'Neill, I think it's time we had a briefing to discuss our next course of action."

* * *

In Nerima, Kasumi was putting the finishing touches on the meal she was cooking for her family. Thanks to the combined efforts of Ranma and Ryoga, Akane had been distracted from trying to help out in the kitchen.

It wasn't that Akane was completely useless in the kitchen these days, but this was a special meal that needed to be perfect given the nature of the bombshell Kasumi was dropping that evening.

The doorbell rang and Soun himself answered it.

"Nabiki!" he beamed as he embraced his daughter.

"I see you're as stoic as ever," the middle Tendo daughter remarked sarcastically.

"I'm happy because we've got some good news!" Soun explained as he allowed his daughter to enter the house.

"I gathered that," Nabiki said as she removed her shoes. "So, what's so important that you've gathered us all here today?"

"Nabiki!" Akane said as she hugged her sister. "How are you doing?"

"No complaints about the standard of living."

"But the standard of husband?"

"That's not so good. Still, where's Kasumi?"

Kasumi took that moment to appear and announce that dinner was ready. "So, how have you been, Nabiki?"

"Today's not about me, Kasumi, apparently, you've got some important news that Father couldn't tell me about over the phone," Nabiki replied, already tired of talking about her domestic situation.

"Of course," the eldest sister smiled. She ushered everyone to the dinner table.

"Ryoga," Nabiki greeted tersely.

"Hello, Nabiki-san," the directionally challenged man replied with a polite bow.

It was then that Nabiki noticed the two other men at the table. One was an older man, a bandana on his head. The other, a much younger and more attractive man. She reasoned that they were father and son.

"So, Daddy, who are you friends?"

"I'm Genma Saotome, this is my son, Ranma," the older visitor greeted with a bow.

"Hello," Ranma replied.

"Is this some kind of intervention? Do I have some kind of problem that I'm not willing to address?" the middle Tendo daughter asked.

"Not to my knowledge," Ranma said. He took in the appearance of Nabiki Tendo. She was a little older than him and Akane, she had brown hair and dressed well.

"Ranma-kun is going to be Kasumi's husband," Soun declared. "Finally, we can unite the schools of Anything Goes."

"You kept this quiet, Kasumi."

"It only really just happened," Kasumi admitted, finding her fingers rather interesting.

"So, tell me about yourself, Ranma Saotome. What makes you so special that you can win over my sister like this?"

Ranma found himself taken aback by the confrontational attitude of this Nabiki person. Keeping his ego in check for the time being, he replied honestly. "It's an arranged marriage between our fathers."

"And what have you done to think you're worthy of Kasumi?"

Kasumi blushed as memories from Jolinar entered her mind about Ranma's exploits, including the time he rescued her from Sokar's prison. The ones about how Jolinar had planned to repay Ranma had an erotic tinge to them.

"I… well, Ranma-kun helped me out recently and I thought that if he wanted to, we could still help Father and his dream…" the homemaker explained.

"I see," Nabiki said, her eyes narrowing at Ranma.

'Well, she doesn't trust me. Still, it's not like it's a proper engagement,' the pigtailed martial artist thought.

"So, Ranma, what do you do for a living?" Soun asked.

Kasumi began serving the food as Ranma answered.

"I work as a consultant for the United States Air Force. I'm not allowed to talk about much of what I see and do with them."

"Convenient," Nabiki muttered as she accepted a bowl of rice.

* * *

A short while later, SG-1 were sitting around the briefing table.

Daniel Jackson spoke first. "The Cimmerians use the word 'Etin' for Goa'ulds. The woman by the gate said that the Etins were there. For a thousand years, Cimmeria was safe from Goa'uld attack. Then we show up and screw up Thor's technology."

"How developed are the Cimmerians?"

"Late Iron Age, sir," Daniel answered. "No match for the Goa'uld."

"General, if we have screwed up their world, we should at least try to fix it, don't you think?" O'Neill asked.

"I understand that. But let me play devil's advocate for a moment here. It's not our world. Is it really any of our concern?" Hammond asked.

Teal'c leaned forward. "The destruction of the hammer device to save my life may have caused this. If so, I am responsible."

"I gave the order to destroy the weapon, General," the Colonel said. "I think we should be concerned. We need to at least investigate this."

General Hammond closed his eyes for a moment. "Teal'c, what are the chances that this is a full-scale invasion?"

"The Goa'uld usually send an advance scout though the Stargate to determine a planet's worth and vulnerability. If none of the scout reports back, it is a deterrent to invasion. Given what we saw from the probe, I believe that the invasion is happening now."

"I was afraid you'd say something like that," the Texan sighed. "All right, the mission is a go on one condition. Since this is an unknown situation, I want you to take Ranma Saotome with you."

"Agreed, Sir," O'Neill nodded.

Teal'c's eyes widened as he saw an enhanced image from the MALP footage. "General Hammond. I fear that we will need the help of Genma Saotome as well."

"Why's that, Teal'c?"

"This is the banner of a powerful System Lord, one that is more dangerous that Apophis."

* * *

Halfway through the meal, the telephone rang. Kasumi rose and answered it, but wasn't terribly surprised it was for Ranma.

"Ranma-kun, it's Colonel O'Neill for you."

"Hi Colonel, what can I do for you?"

"¬Ranma… We need your help.¬"

"What's up?"

"¬I can't tell you over the phone, but we need you to come in ASAP. Might need to bring your father with you….¬"

Ranma blinked. "I'm in the middle of dinner with Kasumi and her family. You've got to give me something, Colonel."

"¬Alright…¬" There was a pause as someone spoke in the background where Jack was. "¬Heru'ur?¬"

"Ah, crap. We'll be right over."

The pigtailed martial artist returned to the table with an apologetic look on his face. "I'm very sorry to tell you all this, but something's come up at work and I need to go now."

"Oh…" Soun seemed sad at that piece of news.

"It gets worse," Ranma sighed. "I need to bring my dad with me and I don't know how long I'll be gone for. I am very sorry for this."

Nabiki was sceptical that this relationship would work out for Kasumi if Ranma was often forced to leave at a moment's notice. A marriage with a lot of secrets would not be a happy one.

"How bad is it, son?" Genma asked.

"Heru'ur."

"Ah. Tendo-kun, please accept our apologies for departing on such a short notice, but this is the kind of problem that we have to deal with now."

"What'll happen if you don't go now?" Ryoga asked.

"People will die. Some of them horribly," Ranma answered. He finished his bowl of food and drained his cup. "Thank you for the food, Kasumi, it was excellent. I can only offer my apologies for abandoning you so early in the evening. But look on the bright side, at least we've left you plenty to eat."

Genma rose to his feet. "Thank you, Kasumi-san, you will make an excellent bride for my son. I hope that he'll make a suitable husband for you."

Kasumi blushed, but said nothing.

* * *

The Saotomes arrived in the middle of the briefing room in bright flash of light. SG-1 were already seated and preparing for the planning of the mission.

"I hope you're not going to make a habit of arriving in the middle of the SGC, Mr. Saotome," Colonel O'Neill chided good-naturedly.

"I'll do it every time you interrupt dinner, Colonel," Ranma shot back as he took a seat next to his father.

Daniel Jackson cleared his throat and asked his questions. "Have you heard of a race called the Asgard? Do you know how to contact them?"

"I have heard of them, but we never met them. I'm assuming that there's more that you wanted to discuss. After all, you could have asked me that over the phone," Ranma answered. He looked around the room and saw the looks on the faces of SG-1. "So, what did you do to upset Heru'ur?"

"We didn't do anything to Heru'ur," the scholar insisted. "It's just…."

"Just what?" Ranma asked. "You've been told that you need to bring me to him to save your skins?"

"No, it's nothing like that," Jack O'Neill insisted, hoping to keep Ranma calm. "He's attacking a planet called Cimmeria. Cimmeria is a peaceful world that poses no threat him."

"That is what he does," Genma commented dryly.

"Yeah, well, this planet was protected by the Asgard."

"Was?" the older Saotome asked. "The Asgard might be distant, but from what I heard about them, they would have left safeguards to protect planets such as Cimmeria."

"They did but we kinda broke them," O'Neill winced.

Ranma sighed. "This is why the Tollen jerks say you can't have nice things and you should stay on Earth. So how bad is it?"

"We think that it's a full-scale invasion," Daniel explained.

The pigtailed man shook his head. "Never anything simple with you guys, is it? What's your plan for this mission?"

"Our best option is to investigate the planet and see if we can contact the Asgard. We were hoping that you might know of a way to do so."

"Can't help you with that, but we can help you with Heru'ur," Genma replied.

"I think that the Asgard would have had some way for the Cimmerians to contact them when they were ready," Daniel offered. "So we just need to find out how they planned to do that."

Ranma scratched his head as he thought about the situation. He knew that him and his father knew very little about technology and probably couldn't help contact the Asgard. Short of asking the Nox for their help, the best person he could think of was Captain Carter.

"I think you need Captain Carter to help out. She understands most technology," Genma suggested.

"She's on medical leave right now," sighed Jack.

"I have a Goa'uld healing device with me," Ranma said, placing the alien object onto the table. "I had a feeling you were going to need my help. How's this for a plan, you go ask Carter if she wants to help. I give her a dose with the healing device and we go to Cimmeria."

Genma nodded and took up the rest of the briefing. "When we get there, we split into two groups. Ranma and I will slow down Heru'ur and the other group can figure out how to contact the Asgard."

"I would like to be a part of the team that fights against Heru'ur," Teal'c said, speaking up for the first time. "Master Bra'tak would not approve of passing up the opportunity to fight alongside the Ha're Kek."

The two Saotomes nodded.

* * *

Captain Carter was surprised to get a call from Colonel O'Neill.

"Colonel, what's the matter?"

"¬There's been a thing, Captain. We need you to come into the SGC.¬"

The blonde blinked. "Dr. Frasier put me on medical leave, Sir. She was rather adamant about it."

"¬Something came up,¬" the Colonel replied solemnly.

'It must be important,' the Captain thought. "If you insist, Sir, I'll get ready."

There was a knock on the door. "Excuse me one moment, Sir, there's someone at the door."

The blonde moved to the door and was surprised to see a uniformed Air Force officer standing there.

"Apologies for disturbing you, Captain Carter, but we need you at the SGC," the young Lieutenant said with a salute.

"Oh, right. One moment," Carter said, turning her attention back to the phone. "Colonel, my ride is here."

"¬Lieutenant Jones is there already?¬"

"Yes," the blonde confirmed, reading the name tag on the uniform.

"¬Good, he'll brief you en route to the base.¬"

* * *

Captain Carter walked into the briefing room and smiled at her SG-1 teammates. She wasn't sure how to feel about Ranma Saotome standing there with his father.

Memories from Jolinar had started to soften her opinion of the man, but that didn't mean he wasn't an insensitive jerk. And there was something about his father that set her on edge, like he was planning something.

She tried to put that and some of the residual feelings Jolinar had out of her head as she took her seat.

"Sorry to drag you back here, Captain," Jack smiled. "But as Lieutenant Jones briefed you, we need your expertise."

"I'm not sure I'm ready to go into the field, Colonel, but I'll help in any way I can," the blonde replied.

"I've brought a Goa'uld healing device," Ranma said. "But Dr. Fraiser wants to check you over first."

* * *

To be continued…

Yeah, it's been… something. Well, you know how these things work. Real life issues, lack of motivation to write a particular story, being filled with a self-loathing. That sort of thing.

Yes, I know I skipped over a lot of Ranma's years in space, but that's because I'm lazy. Plus, the story would be hundreds of thousands of words long before we even got to the first Stargate mission to Abydos.

Also, it wouldn't have been the story I wanted to write. Since I'm not doing this for monetary gain, I might as well do this for me.

Until laterer comes.


End file.
